I think it seems fashionable to say self acceptance is the key (as i did) but it's not a realistic response now that i think about it. Even if you accept yourself completely, for most, we're under pressure to shape our personality to fit the social settings in which we're continuously interacting. As a result, simple self acceptance is not enough. So, this idea that all we have to do is change our way of thinking, and suddenly everything will be ok, is false.
I was raised to be dependent on others including family, etc. I was taught that what other's felt or thought was far more relevant that what I felt, so it's not something you can simply escape by telling yourself to think good things about the self. And i'm still in a state of dependency in many ways, because of my situation, so these thoughts or feelings are not something I can simply change or walk away from.
What is so difficult about negotiating these things? Why always give yourself the short end of the stick? You are responsible for your thoughts and feelings and behaviors.I don't think the point we're making is the same. Being realistic about a situation is not the same as accepting it. And we can't always simply leave a situation because it's not working or good for us. Sometimes, there are more variables involved which involves the needs of others besides our own. It's also not responsible to think of situations entirely on how they affect us without thinking of how others are affected as well.
Not everyone has this wonderful luxury of thinking only of how they should change to make things better for themselves. If only life were that simple and easy. It's not. And it's irresponsible to suggest that the answer is in any way that simple, especially when you don't know the details of someone's situation.
I became tired of dating the people I wanted to be as opposed to dating the people I wanted to love. I think I could have had one of my relationships continue if I hadn't of tried to change myself. I don't ever want such doubts again.
If you've lost yourself, can you call it love?
So, do you lose yourself when you like or are "in love" with someone?
Have you ever thought about or identified the reasons why?
How do you manage your feelings so that you don't? Or how do you avoid this?
hmm. Could you explain?
Love is about sacrifice, I'm sure we all could agree on that. But there's a fine line. For some reason, I feel like society has put it into our heads, especially those of us who are more sensitive, that love is only love if we completely strip ourselves of personal freedom and convince ourselves that our significant other is End all, Be all. Or we put it into our own heads. We place ourselves in a position of fulfilling a 'higher cause.'
Sometimes, we lose ourselves, because we subconsciously push our responsibilities onto the other person. It's a good excuse not to face ourselves AND be part of a worthier, 'higher' cause.
I'm not sure if I'm making complete sense, but I'll think more on it and get back to you.