Do You Hate Being Watched? | INFJ Forum

Do You Hate Being Watched?

Discussion in 'Psychology and MBTI' started by Night Owl, Nov 7, 2016.

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  1. Night Owl

    Night Owl This Bird Has Flown

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    The thread @Gist started on Eye Contact helped provide the backdrop, and a comment from @Marnie the substance of the thread itself. So merci! I'd rather have started this thread in a day or so, to give room to the Eye Contact thread, but if I don't do it now, I'll forget.



    I personally hate being watched. As a child I used to get so angry at my younger brother for staring at me, and he'd keep doing it because I made a deal of it lol. I like outside, but I'll close my curtains if it means stopping someone from watching me. I can't study if someone is looking at me. I need to be unwatched. I can feel people's gaze, and it makes me feel uncomfortable if they're peering in on me, or looking at me outside of the context of having a discussion. CTV cameras don't worry me too much, even though I'd prefer not being watched. For me it's really being watched in person, by another person. I think I may be the most adverse to 'being watched' out of all the people I've met - except perhaps certain characters I've met on the streets or in the ward.

    Anyone hate being watched?
     
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  2. CosmicINFJ

    CosmicINFJ Community Member

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    I do not like being watched when I am working. My self consciousness in situations like this makes me fumble or type slower. Also I do things differently. I'm guessing that other INFJ can identify with this. I do not want others to watch me do things my unique way and have them tell me how to do it their way. Have you noticed that people tend to tell you that there way is the best way? If it is someone that I am connected to and can communicate with openly. That is different. Then I don't mind sharing.....Back to people watching me. I can feel people watching me too and am pretty good at catching them before they glance away. I don't mind it that much, unless I'm picking up something like disapproval or contempt. Not that the contempt thing happens very often, but I learned how to tell if people instantly feel negative towards you.
     
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  3. OP
    Night Owl

    Night Owl This Bird Has Flown

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    Lol. Yes to all of the above! I don't like people watching me do things. Especially writing/typing, and eating lol.
     
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  4. invisible

    On Holiday

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    I really really really hate being watched while eating. If I eat in public especially in a food hall I end up changing seats so many times because I hate being watched while eating. I hate it how strangers always seem to sit near me where it is easiest for them to watch me eating. Even if they're not looking at me at all, I still feel like they are. I always try to sit in the place where fewest people can watch me, and I can watch fewest people, usually in a corner or facing a wall. I never trust that someone will not sit where they can watch me while I'm eating, because I know someone always will.

    Wow, I sound pretty eccentric.
     
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  5. Morgenstern36

    Morgenstern36 Regular Poster

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    I do not like being watched either. I wonder if it comes from the fact that I enjoy watching people and reading other people. I can tell a lot about a person. Perhaps I do not want people seeing into me as much as I can see into them.
     
  6. OP
    Night Owl

    Night Owl This Bird Has Flown

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    This is exactly what I thought once I had written what I had written :D
     
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  7. RunDeep

    RunDeep Regular Poster

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    When you know you're being watched/stalked so you act extra petty.... :laughing:
     
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  8. Sandie33

    Sandie33 Love Often & Absolutely ♡
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    Ooph...I must be an odity...lol...because I don't even notice if someone is watching me. Maybe because I'm watching everyone else? :p
     
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  9. RunDeep

    RunDeep Regular Poster

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    "we're just people watching the other people watching we."
     
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  10. Rcs6r

    Rcs6r Must be the feeling~
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    I like it. STARE AT ME ALL DAY.

    O.O
     
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  11. Bellosome

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    i avoid people so they couldn't watch me. (i don't go out much unless needed and for work purposes only) my curtains are dark and always closed so no one can see through it. buuut, i love watching people, and analyze them.. geez, i sound like a creeper. :tongueclosed::tongueclosed:
     
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  12. hn87c901

    Banned

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    Ditto. I don't generally notice if people are watching me. It's possibly because I don't tend to go out that much or sit where I'm that conspicuous.
     
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  13. OP
    Night Owl

    Night Owl This Bird Has Flown

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    Kinda the sames... :sunglasses: That's why I like sunnies. I see you, but you don't see me. Well, that's what it sort of feels like.

    Creep radar alert.

    Oh, just in case, sunnies = sunglasses.
     
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  14. Bellosome

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    yeah we call it sunnies here too. :D aannnddd i own dark ones.. lesser they see through :p
     
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  15. Marnie

    Marnie Regular Poster

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    Oh... thanks for the thread.
    When I said I hate being watched, I really meant it. I hate when people put their eyes on me. It has a lot to do with being a woman in this crazy society, I'm afraid.
    I'm a performer (but I'm currently leaving my bands and giving up with this whole thing) and when I'm on stage, I enjoy playing music in a way you can't even imagine, like I'm in transe... but this strong happiness is broken up by the fact that people are watching my every move. After a show, when you are a woman, people rarely come to compliment the music itself. I mean, they do, but it's always mixed with comments such as "I love the way you dance!"; "your body seemed to be totally connected to the way you played", etc. And that kind of comments REALLY makes me sick. After a concert, I always feel anxious and disgusted. Usually, while I'm driving home, I cry and regret it all. It's awful because I love music and this is my main way of expression, but I hate that I need to use my body to express it.

    On another level, when I talk to someone, I cannot stand it when people really stare at my face. It also makes me feel nervous. I think it's because I don't want them to know what I'm feeling/thinking and I know it's easily readable through my eyes.
    When I perform, I make up a lot. I feel like I'm wearing a mask, playing a role. But in my everyday life, I hate wearing make-up and it feels like I'm more vulnerable...
    I definitely have an issue with the fact that I am a woman in the first place. I wish I didn't have a body and that people could only see my soul and judge my soul instead of its container.

    PS: Sorry for the mistakes; as most of you already know, English isn't my native language and it sometimes really costs me to find the words... Plus, I don't have time right now to correct my sentences properly. Indulgence, please =)
     
  16. invisible

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    I don't understand how anyone can not notice others watching them. I notice it constantly and I really hate it.
     
  17. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome
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    I hate being watched. I freeze up and sometimes panic... forget everything, go numb.
    I have social anxiety disorder associated with certain settings. Stage fright to the 10th degree.

    If someone is casually watching me in a crowd I just find it irritating. Obviously, if someone is attracted to you, and you to them, there will be some amount of 'looking at the person' and stealing glimpses, but that sort of "being watched" is gentler.
     
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  18. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome
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    Marnie, I relate to everything about your post, except that I am not a performer. Though I am not, I receive the same type of attention and comments.
     
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  19. CosmicINFJ

    CosmicINFJ Community Member

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    Was walking downtown today and felt super conscious of myself NOT looking at people. Of course, I was also thinking about this thread. As I mentioned in the other thread, I make a point of not looking at women. I mean, I will check way up ahead and see people walking towards me, but I do not look as they get closer. This is a change for me, because I use to look most of the time. You see my Mom is a Capital E ENTJ and she is over the top friendly with people. So I was brought up this way, to look at people and talk to people. I'm sure I will have more stories about my Mom later on. She is super nice, but has that ENTJ pushiness. She is a fairly Conscious person, but she never gets why some people don't like her. So here I was, growing up INFJ and basically being thrust into the Extrovert world constantly. So I went out into the world as a young Adult, smiling and waving at people and started to realize that I was different and that people don't always like friendly. Fast forward a few decades and I think Society has changed. Women are tired of Men looking at them and are more comfortable with themselves and making that known. So now I'm walking along not looking at people, but in my periphery vision noticing who looks and who doesn't. Another funny story that I thought of today is that I have experienced women being annoyed with me that I didn't look. Really. Not very often, but this has happened on a few occasions. It's a different world. I get it. I'm just doing my best to keep to myself, stay focused and keep it simple. Save the eye contact for people that I'm more closely connected with.
     
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  20. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    #20 acd, Nov 8, 2016
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2016
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