Do you ever suppress aspects of personality to be with someone? | INFJ Forum

Do you ever suppress aspects of personality to be with someone?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Aug 4, 2010.

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  1. Gaze

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    It seems that suppressing aspects of self - individuality, is often perceived as a negative, as a poor compromise.

    But is it always negative, especially in the context of personal relationships? (rhetorical)

    Would you suppress aspects of self or personality for a relationship?

    Which aspects and how much?

    Do you experience this choice to suppress or not exercise these traits as a loss to self, a gain for the relationship, or an unfair compromise, or all of the above?
     
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    #1 Gaze, Aug 4, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2010
  2. AUM

    AUM The Romantic Scientist

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    The only thing I seem to sacrifice when I'm in a relationship is my introvertedness. I actually don't see it as something negative because it would be pretty selfish in wanting to be alone and not giving my partner a significant amount of attention.

    Other than that I wouldn't call it sacrifice but rather mutual compromise on other personality traits that could damage a good relationship. I think of relationships as teamwork, and when you're in a team you sometimes have to deal with some aspects of yourselves that could hurt the overall harmony of the group. So it's not negative, it's growth.
     
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  3. OP
    Gaze

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    I'm the opposite. Or it probably depends on the person i'm with. If a partner is extroverted, then i'd probably try to step outside of my introverted nature, but by doing so, i think i'd sacrifice something really unique about myself, and hurt the relationship.

    But my introvertedness wouldn't affect my ability to want to be with my partner or give them attention.
     
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    #3 Gaze, Aug 4, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2010
  4. Dormouse

    Dormouse Newbie

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    Short answer: Yes.

    Out of courtesy and tact most of my personality is suppressed most of the time. It seems kind of necessary to function and be accepted.
    Which aspects depend strongly on the group or individual I'm around.
    I think normally a relationship wouldn't be compromised, though there is a threshold for how long I can suppress/counterfeit a personality without resentment.

    I wouldn't call it an unfair compromise, but then again I don't have a very strong sense of self. Sometimes it can be troublesome, but more in terms of wasted energy than loss of identity.
     
  5. Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    I usually try not to suppress. If you cant take me then why be friends? or more than that for that matter.

    but just acquaintances and work colleagues I will suppress to maintain status quo
     
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  6. Lumi Spitsbergen

    Lumi Spitsbergen Community Member

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    I find myself generally incapable of repressing myself. However, I tend to be less competitive with the guy I like, and (strangely enough) a bit less talkative.

    But this stems from the fact that I generally just want to know him/his thoughts more, so I listen more and talk less, and prefer harmony and just don't feel the pressure to "win" with him.

    Granted this was different the one time I went out with a guy who was competitive by nature. We were like flint, sparking off each other. But we never took it too seriously so it was a lot of fun ^_^
     
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    Gaze

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    Yeah, i'm kinda the same.
     
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  8. Starry Night

    Starry Night Regular Poster

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    Only for a short amount of time, when Im around my Si functional relatives I supress my Ni a bit and try to talk about concrete things more. I dont like that at all and cant stand doing it for long.

    When Im around T`s I supress my Feeling side a bit, but that only works for a short while as well.

    I really prefer to be around similar people to myself where I dont have to surpress parts of me, at least not consiously.
     
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