[INFJ] Difficulty making friends, expressing how i feel..

[x%*YH]

Why is it that i block people out of my life so easily, i cant seem to be able to just talk to people just for the mere fact i have to talk... the longer i am with people the more depressed i get.. even though reality hits me sometimes, how do you guys achieve friendship, i cant understand what it is to love someone, care for them, being there.. having someone to listen to you in your hard times, how do you guys achieve this.

It feels okay and lonely at the same time but sometimes i wish i was taught how to make friends, all my life it was just being rejected by every human and being invisible. How do normal people make friends?,,

Thank you.

 

[Pin]

Normally, my goals are my first priority so if other people are on the same path as me, we become friends because our goals are similar.

 

[flower]

I can relate so well, you're not alone. I really wish I could have answers or at least some good advices how to make friends. Just to let you know that you're not alone!

 

[Infjente]

Live action role play (LARP)! Must be the ultimate place for friend making! You can be who you want, so you don't have to worry about acting weird or shy or anything!

 

[Rowan Tree]

I've been fortunate in friendships, but I can relate to the struggle. You are definitely not alone. As I understand, we INFJs can have difficulty communicating our tolerances in social circles. When a situation becomes intolerable, we retreat (the so-called INFJ door-slam), but often without communicating the problem. Learning ways to speak up while the situation is salvageable has been a hard lesson for me (I am on the spectrum as well as an INFJ), but it has helped me retain important relationships. Consider studying conflict resolution to give you the tools you need to confidently communicate your needs.

When it comes to feeling invisible and alone, my INTP wife once observed to me that INFJs can seem quite low energy—perhaps somebody else can explain better than I how this relates to our functional stack. Like a lot of introverts, we might have a habit of disappearing into the background, especially in the context of large groups.

Otherwise, find communities built around shared activities. Start making acquaintances based on shared goals (playing a game, creating something, attending events) and look out for people who share your values (how they behave, what is most important to them). As Aristotle observed, the best (and likely the most lasting) friendships are built on a foundation of shared values.