[INFJ] Curious!

[Cazza]

Hi everyone.
I am new to this forum. I am curious to find out if anyone else comes out of a meeting feeling deflated and embarrassed after trying to add to the discussion but what you say seems to either come out like piffle which never sounds as smart or intelligent as everyone else's contribution or when you speak no one takes you seriously. Somehow I seem to sound so dumb but I know I am not. Grrrr! Then I start beating myself up because I tend to see everything so differently from everyone else. Is this an INFJ thing or do I seriously need help?

 

[Scientia]

I used to feel this way at a new job when I was younger before I hit my stride. Tips: lower your voice half an octave, say what you need to say in as few words as possible and do not use qualifiers. Those three things help a lot in being taken seriously by coworkers, especially if you are young and pretty.

 

[invisible]

:welcome:

 

[Free]

Welcome [MENTION=14671]Cazza[/MENTION] !

I used to be very much how you've described and it took some time and practice to be heard and taken seriously in meetings. [MENTION=12050]Scientia[/MENTION] gives some really great advice. I had to be much more formal in the way that I spoke, lower my voice, make some serious eye contact with everyone in the room as I spoke, and most importantly... appear to be confident, even if I wasn't. I still 'pretend' to be confident in the way that I speak and hold myself when addressing coworkers or senior staff members. I have found that it's not so much what you say, but in how you say it that makes an impact. Exude confidence, even when you're far from it.

 

[Misadventure]

Welcome to the forum [MENTION=14671]Cazza[/MENTION]

 

[Cazza]

Thanks peeps for taking the time to reply. And for advice presented. Food for thought. Glad this forum is available. Nice to chat with folk who get you.!

 

[Asa]

I used to feel this way at a new job when I was younger before I hit my stride. Tips: lower your voice half an octave, say what you need to say in as few words as possible and do not use qualifiers. Those three things help a lot in being taken seriously by coworkers, especially if you are young and pretty.

I agree w/ Scientia .

I think it happens to all of us. We're not naturally eloquent speakers and usually have a different perspective to add to the discussion. Not everyone appreciates that. Give it your all in your area of expertise and your value will be proven. As you gain confidence and your good reputation becomes better established (via your excellent work), people will begin to listen, especially if you follow the rules Scientia offered.