change and trust. | INFJ Forum

change and trust.

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Grey Wolf, Jul 30, 2009.

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  1. Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    everytime someone changes, I dont trust them. its that simple.
    I dont know is it a defensive move or anything but thats the way I work. But lately, everyone has been changing around me so quickly that it looks as if I'm shutting everyone out.

    anyone been in similiar situations before? how'd you deal with it?



    Shutting people aint a bad thing though. finally get that little rspite I've been looking for:m175:
     
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  2. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    You should understand that people are going to change whether you like it or not, whether you're defensive or not. Also, that you exert zero control over anyone else's actions other than your own. You don't have to trust everyone. You don't have to trust people who have betrayed you or whathaveyou.

    You should probably do some introspection as to why you are mistrustful of people who are changing.

    Besides, in what ways are they changing?
     
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    Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    ok. maybe I phrased wrongly.
    I dont not trust people when they change per se.
    Its more like. When some people change I still trust them. No matter what. They could suddenly tell me that they're an alien from the next galaxy and I would still trust them.

    But then there are also people that as soon as they change the slightest bit, I dont trust them anymore. I have no idea whatsoever why.

    as for how are they changing, I'm not that sure myself. But i can feel it. even though I have no idea why I am feeling that way. just my N in my INFJ i suppose ;) but I can say that some of them are beginning in some form or the other are beginning to think that they are better than the rest of us so to speak. :m071:
     
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  4. acd

    acd Well-known member

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    Maybe you just don't have lots of energy for lots of people? As an introvert, that'd make sense.

    I get the impression INFJs try to get into other people's heads so that they can understand their mental processes to get close to them to befriend them and counsel and support them. Seems to be a compulsive thing INFJs just.. do.. But that's just what I notice in my experience.

    Maybe you feel depleted and wary doing that often, so you determine whether it's worth depleting your energy or not by whether or not you can 'trust' a person.. Sounds like you will not compromise your energy for someone who you forsee it not being fruitful upon.. You don't trust them with your energy.

    Do I understand?
     
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    Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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    nice 1.
    I think it could be something like that
     
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