Bi-Polar

[drummergirlbk]

Hello everyone,

I'm hoping to get some advice and insight on a situation that I'm indirectly involved in. For about a year or so, my brother and I have believed that his girlfriend's mother suffers from bi-polar disorder. Ill call her "L" for the time being. However, just a week or so ago L's husband and one of his relatives who is an RN have come to the same conclusion. So my father has come to me for advice about how to deal with L because the issue needs to be properly diagnosed.

Does anyone have any advice on how to talk with L about her disorder? What type of aproach would be best? How can we convince her to see a doctor? Thanks.

 

[cvp12gh5]

Hello everyone,

I'm hoping to get some advice and insight on a situation that I'm indirectly involved in. For about a year or so, my brother and I have believed that his girlfriend's mother suffers from bi-polar disorder. Ill call her "L" for the time being. However, just a week or so ago L's husband and one of his relatives who is an RN have come to the same conclusion. So my father has come to me for advice about how to deal with L because the issue needs to be properly diagnosed.

Does anyone have any advice on how to talk with L about her disorder? What type of aproach would be best? How can we convince her to see a doctor? Thanks.

Is there a history of mental disorders in the family? I would research that if you don't know. It will help in backing up your suspicions.

You should have everyone write down specific situations which drew them to feel this way. Gather info on bipolar disorder, then sit down and compare notes. If it still makes sense, then figure out who will talk with her about it.

What I would NOT do is tell her that she has bipolar disorder. Only a doctor can diagnosis her. But what I would do is present the facts to her in a non-threatening way. If there is a family history, mention that there might be a connection. Stress that she is loved and that you are concerned about her health and happiness. Don't make her feel like it's her against the world. Tone is important. Facts backed up with love=successful interaction.

I would love to give you more advice on this but I don't have the time right now. :/

 

[sprinkles]

You cannot truly convince - only suggest. She will either listen or not.

 

[invisible]

I think it is very difficult to intervene in the way someone lives their life if they themselves are not experiencing any difficulty with the way they live their live.

If someone is experiencing problems in their life, you can say something like "I'm worried for you. I want to help you, but I don't know how. I am here for you as much as I can be, but I don't think it's enough. I think a therapist might be able to be there for you in ways I can't. There's no shame in seeing a therapist."

But if the person is not experiencing an actual problem with the way they live their life, it is much more difficult to intervene, and may be seen as interfering, or insulting. Sorry I can't be more help, but maybe others who read what I have written will have better ideas.

 

[Scientia]

Like [MENTION=6917]sprinkles[/MENTION] said you can suggest but be careful of how you do that. Bipolars sometimes have a very black and white view of their lives. Suggesting she needs therapy might force her into a corner and you most likely won't enjoy how she defends herself.

 

[j654dgj7]

Hello everyone,

I'm hoping to get some advice and insight on a situation that I'm indirectly involved in. For about a year or so, my brother and I have believed that his girlfriend's mother suffers from bi-polar disorder. Ill call her "L" for the time being. However, just a week or so ago L's husband and one of his relatives who is an RN have come to the same conclusion. So my father has come to me for advice about how to deal with L because the issue needs to be properly diagnosed.

Does anyone have any advice on how to talk with L about her disorder? What type of aproach would be best? How can we convince her to see a doctor? Thanks.

Hi!
Last year I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and it broke my heart. Having a mental illness is a stigmatic condition and many people don't want to acknowledge it. Dealing with it; I would talk to her when she's feeling the worst. Tell her that she doesn't have to feel this bad. Be honest and tell her that her behavior isn't how it should be and she's not the boss of her own mind at the moment. Advise her to talk to her doctor and that you'll love and support her no matter what he/she says.

Ultimately she's the boss of her own life. The decision needs to come from her and she genuinely needs to want to feel better. She needs to confront her own mind and do it with determination.

Since I've started treating my condition with medication and therapy I feel like a new man. I've become much more open and my energy levels have been through the roof. I can't recommend it highly enough. Good luck!

 

[drummergirlbk]

Thank you all for your responses. It's been especially helpful.

I'm not sure if this is in any way related to the bi-polar like symptoms, but recently L forced her daughter (my brother's girlfriend) to move out at the age of 17 for no justifyable reason. It just seemed kind of odd to me, from a rational standpoint. Anyone have any input about that?

 

[thirdhalf]

I'm not sure if this is in any way related to the bi-polar like symptoms, but recently L forced her daughter (my brother's girlfriend) to move out at the age of 17 for no justifyable reason. It just seemed kind of odd to me, from a rational standpoint. Anyone have any input about that?

Trying to make sense of it is only going to make your head hurt. Rationality exists in the context of a mind that is operating under normal circumstances, mental illness and drugs change the context. Normal rationality as you know it ceases to exist and it is replaced with their modified rationality.

 

[Elegant Winter]

Thank you all for your responses. It's been especially helpful.

I'm not sure if this is in any way related to the bi-polar like symptoms, but recently L forced her daughter (my brother's girlfriend) to move out at the age of 17 for no justifyable reason. It just seemed kind of odd to me, from a rational standpoint. Anyone have any input about that?

You say "no justifiable reason." So there is a reason. What is it?

 

[drummergirlbk]

You say "no justifiable reason." So there is a reason. What is it?

A justifyable reason would have been for example, if the daughter would have graduated high school and the parents agree that it would be good experience for her to get her own place for a while, or if the two had really gotten into it and the mother had used this as grounds for said act. However, what happened was the daughter was kicked out randomly with no warning and for no apparent reason. "L" just up and decided to do this one day.

 

[cvp12gh5]

A justifyable reason would have been for example, if the daughter would have graduated high school and the parents agree that it would be good experience for her to get her own place for a while, or if the two had really gotten into it and the mother had used this as grounds for said act. However, what happened was the daughter was kicked out randomly with no warning and for no apparent reason. "L" just up and decided to do this one day.

Maybe there is something your brother's gf is not telling you. Does your brother live with them also? If not, maybe she is keeping something from him also.

Even the sweetest 17 yr old girls can be deceptive.

Something isn't adding up.

 

[drummergirlbk]

Maybe there is something your brother's gf is not telling you. Does your brother live with them also? If not, maybe she is keeping something from him also.

Even the sweetest 17 yr old girls can be deceptive.

Something isn't adding up.

My brother is in the air force, so he isn't living with her (thankfully). There might be something else going on, but I try to avoid contact with the gf as much as possible.

 

[cvp12gh5]

My brother is in the air force, so he isn't living with her (thankfully). There might be something else going on, but I try to avoid contact with the gf as much as possible.

I think that may be the case. I wouldn't trust what she is telling him or others without any solid evidence.

Out of curiousity, where was she planning on living (or where is she living) if her mom kicked her out?

 

[drummergirlbk]

I think that may be the case. I wouldn't trust what she is telling him or others without any solid evidence.

Out of curiousity, where was she planning on living (or where is she living) if her mom kicked her out?

She is currently living with her paternal grandparents. "L" doesn't speak with her family. The gf's plan is to graduate high school and enter the air force so she can marry my brother way before he is ready. He isn't very comfortable with the idea right now, obviously.