being assertive without slipping into agrression

Well for me being assertive is being able to stand up for what you believe in. That's my definition. Anyways, some reasons that some people will not listen to you is because you lack confidence on how you are expressing your beliefs, but most likely it is because people tend to think that they are always right and are always finding flaws on what others have to say. If you say something that they may not agree on you will find yourself sometimes accomodating to their points of view which will contradict your assertiveness.

My point is that if you want others to listen to you, you must be willing to accomodate to others opinions, once you have them thinking they are the best then tell them what you really believe in. Another technique is being confident with your convictions and state clearly what you are trying to say.

 

I think it depends on the situation and who you are talking to. Is this a boss/employee giving orders type situation or a friends arguing ideas and views situation? Every situation calls for a different approach. There are times to fight (verbally, hopefully) and times to back out. I don't know what your situation or history is, but you may want to see a counselor or psychiatrist. I've been there and it worked wonders. He/she didn't work miracles, but it's nice to vent to a stranger and I would recommend anyone to go a couple of times to check it out.