Being A Better Human | INFJ Forum

Being A Better Human

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Outta Here.
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Jul 18, 2008
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As I become older and wiser it has occured to me that I am supposed to be a better human. There is no perfect situation. We have to learn to deal with what we have been given in life. It's how you handle those situations that make you or break you. I have had very difficult times in my life. But so has everyone else. I think the more you live and learn the more you understand that forgiveness is something that you should offer freely, to yourself and others. I have come across people who just can't be forgiven. I drop them and move on if I can't help them. I figure that they must choose a new path or stick with what they have been doing. For myself I want to be the best guy I can be towards other people. I have to sleep at night. In this world full of hate I want peace. But peace starts with me and ends with me. In my life I have learned that you must help yourself to forgive yourself so you can move on into the life you were supposed to live. I feel like when I was younger I was taught to react to the world not shape it and live in it. As an adult I have seen what inaction can do to you. I have been able to not let things affect me unless I want them too. I have learned to be patient and wait for kharma to come around. Instead of trying to inact my own Kharma on others. Life is hard enough but it seems like others want you to fail. I have had to learn to not let the bad stuff in and ruin my good nature. I feel better when I am helping others and they return the favor or thank me for my effort. I feel worse when I get used. I feel like you have to evolve into a better human. It is easier to destroy than create. At times it has been difficult breaking habits that I have learned. But at my core I am me. I just don't let anyone in. It is a survival skill that I have learned over life. Now that I understand myself I realsie that I have to be me. But I also have to let others be themselves too. I don't have the answers. I only have questions. And by looking and questioning what I am doing I am becoming a better man. Not just for me but for everyone I am in contact with.
 
I agree with you on this, great post. Forgiveness is essential to me too. I had trouble forgiving a couple of times in my life and it just about ate me up until I finally got there. I worked in an old folks home and the ones who were unforgiving were so sad and bitter, my heart broke for them.
 
I sometimes think that I don't have to be a better human....just human!!! Yes, that's kind of the same thing, but I find I have to peel back many layers of what "being human" is all about and let go of may illusions (and there are many) in order to grasp the essentials and live with a degree of freedom. I think it takes a good bit of courage to step out of the shadows and truly be what you are....even more to be what you are capable of being as a human person. I believe, though, that this is the path to a life well lived. The theoretical dignity we bestow on all people is a dignity we seldom live within...often it is less a matter of trying harder, but more a matter of seeing ourselves, our giftedness, and our power through very different eyes.
 
gokartride said:
I sometimes think that I don't have to be a better human....just human!!! Yes, that's kind of the same thing, but I find I have to peel back many layers of what "being human" is all about and let go of may illusions (and there are many) in order to grasp the essentials and live with a degree of freedom. I think it takes a good bit of courage to step out of the shadows and truly be what you are....even more to be what you are capable of being as a human person. I believe, though, that this is the path to a life well lived. The theoretical dignity we bestow on all people is a dignity we seldom live within...often it is less a matter of trying harder, but more a matter of seeing ourselves, our giftedness, and our power through very different eyes.

I totally agree. What a lovely post :)
 
I disagree, there is a perfect situation, that's one where I'm only slightly better than my competitors and I have to fight hard for everything, but I win all the time.
 
I aggree with the OP and with Gocart this is a very lovely post and I think alot of us are striving towards this (except shai! :lol: lol)
 
As I look at the world as a whole I am ashamed of what we have done with our gift. For thousands of years we have not been able to get it right. That is what I mean about being a better human. Even the usa can't seem to overcome race religion personal prefrence induvidual freedom shit the list goes on and on. It seems like for the last twenty years everything has gone to shit. People's attitudes plain suck toward one another. If our world falls apart who will you turn too? It's a mindset that you have to live everyday. You must find the good in life to survive life. So I as one human to another have tried to be nicer. To be more polite to others. To really listen to the conversation. The problem is even by doing that when it is my turn to talk no one listens lol. People seem to only focus on the self now. It's a pity I enjoyed the days of youth hanging out with people I knew who were from the same town who shared my beliefs and values. Those beliefs and values are now old.

1.Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Good words to live by....
 
efromm said:
You must find the good in life to survive life. So I as one human to another have tried to be nicer. To be more polite to others. To really listen to the conversation.
I'm with you 100%!

It is interesting to me how we/I look back on history at some of the times where weird bad stuff was happening...and it is easy to wonder how past generations got it so wrong. We tend to think we might have done it much better. Fast forward to today...it's the same ol' thing. It's easy to pick out problems in hindsight, but in the present they (and us) are stuck in a swirling sea of confusing cultural influences much as people in the past were. The path is not clear, it is hard to find one's way, and if you do it will likely make little difference. It is worth trying, thogh, come what may. To define one's actions based on a sound moral center and not on "the crowd" is not always easy but overall it is a fantastic choice!!!
 
And I agree with you 100%. Its funny how it never seems to get better. Our own vanity and wanting to have something more never really makes us truely appreciate what we have now. Unlike the majority of people in there late thirties who are trying to relive their past, I already lived mine when it was happening around me. I enjoyed my life when I was living it. I always have. I guess I just figured it out a long time ago. Live today, today maybe all you have.
I am not afraid to die and I am not afraid to live. You can't stop death it's coming. But you can control what you say and do. You can choose to be polite and nice. You can also stop people from hurting you. It all starts with you. One person can make a difference. One at a time. Being nice is not showing weakness. It shows that you care about others around you. It's those users and abusers that I avoid now. I can see you a mile away. What a difference experience makes. I really want to be my true inner self.But the world around me won't let me...
 
efromm said:
Its funny how it never seems to get better.
I think a "History of the World and the Misguided Human Ego" would be a very telling read.

efromm said:
the world around me won't let me...
Yes, it seems to be that way....I think one can choose live differently, but one must take care to do so wisely, being rooted in something solid and sure.
 
I guess from my point of view I figure we should be so much further. But between governments and religion it seems it may never happen. I have always looked upto older people. And I still do. You gotta give some respect to the guy who has made it atleast 80 years. Your looking into your future young man!! LOL :D Most of them I knew were kind and gentle. I think life softens you up as you grow old if ya do it right. Or maybe I am just a bit too old fashoned for todays youth...
 
I was thinking today about my journey to being a better human. For me it has been letting go of a lot backed up negativity. Now that I have learned to pull the plug I feel better. I can feel my spirits lift now. And things that would upset me for some reason now just barley annoy me. It seems for me forgiving myself and others has had more of an effect on me than I thought. Which in turn has made me be more sympathetic to other people and generally in a good mood most of the time. :pray2:
 
I aggree with the OP and with Gocart this is a very lovely post and I think alot of us are striving towards this (except shai! :lol: lol)

God I must be tired. I looked at that post and thought you said "I agree with OP, and think Gokarting is a marvelous idea."
 
As I have learned to let myself go I realise that life can be what you make of it. It just takes you to start realising that you need to go through life making deliberate actions. Not just following the other paths of other people. You are unique and your dream does not match anyone elses. I did not realise I was already doing this to some degree but now that I see it I see it for what it is. Love life even though life wants to kill you! LOL:plane: