Are you ready for the truth? The Myers-Briggs Asshole Index | INFJ Forum

Are you ready for the truth? The Myers-Briggs Asshole Index

ESFJ

“Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging,” with emphasis on Judging. Your average ESFJ is great at pretending to listen, and while they do hear you, unlike INFPs, they do not give even one tiny fuck about what you just said, except to hate you with.

ESFJs are usually the dominant ones in social contexts, often disregarding others’ opinions. If they are wronged they will be angry and they will punish you, but if you treat them well they will treat you well in return (unless they’re having a bad day). A good way to get on an ESFJ’s good side is to do favours for them without them asking – they love getting gifts. They adapt easily though, so if you stop giving them gifts after that, they will not … be happy with you.

Many mafia bosses have been ESFJs, as their blatant disregard for everybody else and the ease with which they can establish rules makes them great criminal overlords. Unlike other hollow personalities (ISTJs, ENFJs, ENTJs, most ISTPs), the ESFJ try (in futility) to fill their hole with things that they should care about. However, caring quickly turns into hatred.

They use everything they have to get what they want – if this means emotional breakdowns over the last cup of coffee, so be it. After an outburst they will pretend nothing happened, and the older, more wise ones will apologize about it in secret, however you should not listen to a word they say. The animal totem of an ESFJ is the mandrill. You know, the volatile monkeythings?



They read me like an open book.
 
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LOL saw this before, this site is awesome

ENFJ

Like rattlesnakes, the animal associated with them, the ENFJs have an inexhaustible patience. They give the air of being a wise mentor, when really they just want you to do their bidding. They often run several schemes at once. They do not consider you a friend, even though you might consider them one. They consider you an asset or, at most, an acquaintance.Adept at manipulation, the ENFJ has gone so far as to make themselves believe whatever it is their saying, fooling lie detectors and even the greatest mentalists. They can usually do this as they have a hollow where their soul should be, and it can easily be filled with fakes. Pretending to be otherwise is easy for them. They do have feelings, such as “I’m worth all the money in the world,” or “everything I see is mine.”In an office workplace, the ENFJ is the snitch you never notice. The ENFJs are drawn towards jobs without glory, such as paparazzis, where they can observe the people who do feel love, and destroy it for them.
 
INFP
INFPs are not concerned with the material world, anything that matters to them happens inside their head. They are the kid in the back of the class who understands nothing and believes themselves to understand it all, which is why they never ask questions, and always make assumptions. If you correct their assumptions they are likely to not hear you.
In the grand scheme of things, INFPs forgive everyone, perhaps because of the lingering doubt that anything they perceive is truly there. Their animal totem would be the stupid, drooling, cute dog.
Sometimes, the actual real world penetrates the foggy glass of their John Lennon-style rose-coloured shades, and they are prone to extreme depression when this happens. Usually, the best way to get them out of this is distracting them with something shiny, or make a doll of the friend they lost they can keep as a substitute. Since you considered doing this creepy thing, I can but assume you’re an ISFJ, so get away from me, get far away.
They are likely to find meaning in meaningless things, and relationships with INFPs end typically because of imagined slights, or the realization that nothing you’ve said for the last fourteen months have even been processed by their brains. If you leave, it might take them up to three weeks to notice, had you been living together.

 
Those descriptions are hilarious and have some basis in truth for sure.

The INFJ description certainly has some good points.

My husband is an ESTP and my son is an ISTP and those descriptions are so close to the truth it makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time.

The ESFJ description is pretty accurate for a friend of mine also.