Are kids growing up too fast or . . . | INFJ Forum

Are kids growing up too fast or . . .

Gaze

Gaze

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are we not keeping up or prepared enough for the early maturity of kids today.

Where does childhood innocence end in today's fast paced world where kids are exposed to more than their parents could imagine at a much earlier age. Can we expect them to still remain innocent kids in a world of adult images and rapidly spread adult information.
 
I don't think kids are growing up. They become older, but don't have the maturity to handle a responsible adult life. I've been trying to wrap my mind around it for long time now, and while I have lots of ideas, they are JUST ideas. I really don't have a clue.

1. When people don't work through issues at a particular stage of maturity, they tend to get stuck at that stage. It is possible that kids are stuck in childhood because their needs are not being met at that stage. Carrie, I think this is what you are referring to. There are certain stages where developing trust is critical -- screw with that and you end up with adults incapable of normal human interaction.

2. There is a correlation between exposure to sexual subject matter on TV and early sexual acting out. A correlation is NOT the same as proving cause and effect, but it's worth looking into. We do know that kids who are molested go through puberty very early -- their bodies try to compensate for the abuse. Is it such a great stretch to wonder if being exposed to sexual matters on TV at such a young age might also have some part in bringing on puberty at an earlier age?

3. There is also a correlation of some forms of exposure to violence with violent acting out. Studies show that children who see "heroes" beating up "bad guys" actually feel BETTER and are more peaceful. But if it is not clear that the violence is justified, it tends to be very deeply disturbing to kids, who then act out as well. Again, correlation is not the same as proving cause and effect, but it does mean the possibility is worth looking into.


4. The main culprit seems to be an attitude of entitlement. Is there something in our culture that is teaching this? I went out of my way to teach my kids to be grateful, and STILL both my kids just "expect" that life owes them a living. My son had the audacity to say he felt it was the parents' responsibility to set up their kids to be economically successful, and so parents should give a kid their first car. I just laughed and said I had bought my first car from my parents for $3000. My friend works with a bunch of teens, and asked them to write a list of things they were thankful for. Many couldn't list a single thing! When she asked, "Where is your dinner coming from tonight" the answer she was given was "But that's what parents are SUPPOSED to do." No sense of gratitude at all. Any ideas where this is coming from?

5. We have introduced so many mind altering chemicals into our ecosystem. Who really knows what effect they are having? I was reading a couple weeks ago about how so many women being on the Pill means that they are peeing estrogen which gets into the groundwater and from there into our food. I don't know exactly what the effect of estrogen would be on developing children, but I sure as heck know it is going to have SOME kind of impact.
 
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Carrie said:
Can we expect them to still remain innocent kids in a world of adult images and rapidly spread adult information.
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Yes, if they are provided with context and not coddled to the point of dysfunction.
 
it seems like parents take more of a friend role to their kids and let them have their own way. um no. kids are not autonomous and don't know how to make decisions for themselves yet. i would watch my kids like a hawk. they would have school, music lessons, ballet, sport, language lessons, plenty of literature, fun home science experiments, and holidays away to keep their minds occupied, looking in rock pools at the beach like all kids should do. they would not be allowed out of the house alone until they're 16. if they rebelled i would take away their pocket money and computer games.
 
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Why should kids be innocent? Furthermore, why is innocence being connected to sexuality?

I think this dilemma has existed for a long time, at the very least it's nothing new to the 21st century. This is very similar to how every single generation laments about how things were better in their time. It's just that there is this BIG taboo ingrained in the human consciousness about sexuality and children, and implications of sexuality in conjunction with children bring up a mental dissonance. This taboo is not bad, however it's clouding people's judgement as to the "unusualness" of children's sexuality. But it's real, I've heard accounts of people who discovered masturbation while their age was still in single digits, and I even read about it. I've also read a rather disturbing article about how pedophilia used to be very wide spread in ancient Greece, Rome and India. I have no idea about its veracity, but it's known that the usual age of marriage has been increasing over history, and I am led to believe that children, as well as teens and have been exposed to sex and their own sexuality, before the information age occurred.

The issue of early physical maturation is perhaps something to worry about, but that is linked to nutrition, genetics and life conditions, rather than exposure to information.

However it seems every time new technologies are on the rise, people become threatened and there are huge media hypes about it. Btw, the media loves to hype up crazy teen behaviors, even though proof for "rainbow parties" and such was never really found.
 
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invisible said:
it seems like parents take more of a friend role to their kids and let them have their own way. um no. kids are not autonomous and don't know how to make decisions for themselves yet. i would watch my kids like a hawk. they would have school, music lessons, ballet, sport, language lessons, plenty of literature, fun home science experiments, and holidays away to keep their minds occupied, looking in rock pools at the beach like all kids should do. they would not be allowed out of the house alone until they're 16. if they rebelled i would take away their pocket money and computer games.
Click to expand...


ouch, sounds a bit harsh, or maybe this is what it takes to raise kids today. *ponders*
 
People want their kids to be too grown up before they cut them loose. I think kids should be put to use well before 18 >>> more like 13. Get a job. High school is too pointless. Set them on the road to learning a skill. Teach business in high school. Kick your kids out and let them fail or succeed. Pick them up if disaster strikes. Stay in their business and be overbearing. Push them until they break.They will succeed either from your pushing them or they will rebel and succeed in something else just to spite you. Jokes on you kid, you still succeeded.
 
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Its hard to know if kids really are growing up too fast or not. Kids growing up in developed countries have it pretty easy compared to to previous generations where they had to grow up a lot faster, work to support themselves/their family, cop a lot more physical and emotional abuse, violence, extreme poverty, have a lot less support in general, go to war, get married, have their own kids and God knows what else by the time they were 14.

Kids these days in developed countries are exposed to a lot of information. They literally have the world at their fingertips. As long as they have access to this information and have someone to give them guidance and love, I think that this will potentially be the best generation ever.
 
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Yes, I think they're growing up too fast. There's not much I feel I can do about it except roll with it and try to work with it while still preserving aspects of childhood I think are important.
 
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