Anxious/shy ENFJ vs INFJ | INFJ Forum

Anxious/shy ENFJ vs INFJ

KNiFe

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Aug 15, 2012
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I just read what my parents wrote about me when I was a child.

Apparently I was extremely people pleaser (although quite often spaced out) until i turned 5. Then I started my Obsessive compulsive phase (lasted couple of years) and I become very shy. Apparently i have never gotten completely over it.

There are few more clues: my face is very expressive and I use body language while talking (not always been there). Actually when there is a change I'll take the leading position while many people expect that from me and I'm more comfortable that way although other's strong Te will crush it. :m065: I have noticed that physical exercise alleviates my stress levels very significantly.

I put my focus on people and it feels like my Fe is too perfectionist not take any risks but if can get over that perfectionist mindset...


What is commonly thought of being extrovert vs introvert I would be clearly an introvert but if I take a look at that cognitive functions I could be very well Fe dominant.

http://www.celebritytypes.com/enfj.php said:
Somewhat linked to the Histrionic and Avoidant personalities
Two nearly opposite personality disorders at first glance however I see non-pathological histrionic behavior traits in myself while being somewhat avoidant.

Am I completely lost?
 
Have you always tested INFJ?
 
Yep but I also very demanding attitude towards myself. I could say that social events with right people energizes me.
 
Am I completely lost?

What exactly do you mean by this? Try being more expressive in your posting, and focus less on the level of english :)

Edit: Oh ok, i get what you're asking. Whether you're a shy ENFJ or an INFJ, you are who you are, why does it matter to you so much? Even if you are INFJ you can be shy. if you feel shy, it means you should work on it to make your life better, doesn't matter in which pattern you try to put yourself in.
 
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An ENFJ's emotive expression will easily reach into the eyes, an INFJ's emotive expression doesn't.
An INFJ will have major modulation when using the function Se, for an ENFJ this is Ti.
An INFJ is very over-sensitive to Humans and the noise they bring, an ENFJ is just slightly over sensitive.

For an Introvert, the Subjective functions are comfortable and observable as if the person is feeling home when using that functions.
For an Extrovert, the Objective functions are comfortable and observable as if the person is feeling home when using that functions.

What drains your energy? Is it an objective (extroverted) function, or is it a subjective (introverted) function?
And what restores (or boosts) your energy? Is it being isolated? or is it being intact with other humans?

Both INFJ and ENFJ have a tendency to talk with their hands. You could notice the difference in that the INFJ is more directive when it comes to making an external move. This is because for the INFJ the bridge from their mind and the external reality is huge (that is, compared to the other types), for the ENFJ there is no bridge they have to walk on before they extrovert themselves thus the ENFJ makes more 'unnecessary' moves because they just flow with it. The INFJ has a more controlled extroversion.

-Jah
 
Comparing myself to the two ENFJs that I'm friends with . . . it's somewhat shocking to me how similar yet completely different we are.
I'd also consider the ENFJ that I work with to be far more 'shy' than I am.



The key difference is the primary thing that defines who you are. I only dig out my Fe when a situation comes to me that requires it. . . He actively goes looking for those kinds of interactions.

For instance, if someone asks me to help them move, I'll happily help. He will go find them a week in advance to make sure he has their moving time on his schedule of things to do.

Another funny thing is that if you invite him to do something when he already has a commitment . . . it looks like his head is about to explode with the stress of figuring out if there is any possible way that he could do both things. In the same situation, I'd just tell someone that sorry, I'm already committed to something else.

He was travelling home for the holidays a couple years ago to propose to his girlfriend and he was stressing about how to keep the ring with him at all times so he could have something to talk about to the people next to him on the plane. . . . the rest of us listening let him know our biggest fear on a plane is getting stuck next to someone like that.



In short, they use their Ni to support and improve their all important Fe . . . which can lead to shyness if their Ni starts acting up and spreading doubt

I use my Fe as a filter to get along with the world, and not look crazy to everyone I know.






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