An INFP or a Depressed INFJ?

[wingedfriend]

Hello everyone, this is probably gonna be a long post but to start off I am a new member here. I've been following this forum for a while after learning about the MBTI personality types.

So the thing is, I sometimes get either INFP and INFJ when taking the test and mostly it's because of the "being organized" stuff.
What I realized was, ever since I got depressed, everything was a mess in my life. Even the way I take care of my personal stuffs including email, my computer (files, folders, tweaks, etc.) I used to be so strict and almost like having an OCD, I didn't like seeing a single notification badge on my emails and my files have to be sorted in the right folders. But I often procrastinate about homeworks. Not always tho, hehe.
So what was the reason for my depression? I moved to Japan two years ago. I came here not knowing anything about the language. (Okay I lied, I know a little hiaragana and katakana but not kanji and no I could not fully understand anything around me anyway) I got lonely at school because I couldn't even communicate with everyone. I was very shy, everytime someone tries to come to me and make friends I'd just feel worried and anxious because I knew language was gonna be a big problem. So basically my whole 2 years in a Japanese school was a living hell because I had no social life and the biggest issue was NOT understanding the lessons. I wanted to learn but I convinced myself that as long as it's not in a language that I am comfortable with, I'll never fully understand what the lessons were trying to teach me. I had a hard time adapting to the language. I got used to my surroundings and the culture here, but I still had the thought that I NEEDED to go to an international school to be able to have a legit learning environment. I barely survived middle school, had a lot and I mean A CRAP TON of absents. Most of the time I'd be absent 2 or 3 times a week, and I'd feel really accomplished if I finish 4 days or complete the week without absents. But there were times when I was absent for the WHOLE WEEK.

So yeah, I graduated and that graduation day was the happiest day of my life (at least at that time) and I was finally able to go to an international school with English classes and native English speaking teachers. Let's say I was really stubborn about the language but hey, can't help it. I didn't really like the idea of learning Japanese at this age because I have to prepare for higher education and it's gonna be impossible to be fluent in Japanese and continue on developing my "education" in school. I already learned some simple Japanese and can sometimes understand simple conversations but I still can't fully trust it so I try my best to avoid being in a situation where I'll be needing to use Japanese (but it's obviously inevitable so I still try to prepare myself anyway just in case.) But still, it seems like some scars from my previous life still exist up until now, for some explainable reason I feel depressed because I'm still feeling lonely and somewhat empty. Not to mention these common teenage crush stuff and liking someone knowing that they'll never love you back... Well, I had no one to open up to in person. All of my friends I talk to online, even my close classmates live an hour away from my home. It's summer vacation so I don't get to see most of them. I don't have much friends anyway, I'm a reserved and quite person, obviously because I'm an introvert. But it doesn't mean I fancy the feeling of loneliness.

So I would say, the cause of my depression was feeling lonely and isolated physically and mentally. Because of depression, I feel like my brain also somewhat slowed down, or let's say I feel like I've become stupid. I used to be able to understand and pick up new knowledge when I was back in my home country. The things that I used to enjoy didn't interest me anymore. I used to be a gamer girl and a computer nerd. I was active at different forums/communities. But I got tired of always figuring things out in my computer (tweaks and stuffs) I found it too tiring and too much work so I eventually just trapped myself in SNS world of smartphones.

So yeah, I know about the different functions of INFP and INFJ. I've read that INFP's dominant is Fi then next is Ne while INFJ's dominant is Ni and next is Fe. Does me feeling depressed not having anyone to talk to apply to the Fe? or does it have something to do with INFP's dominant Fi?
And idk if this will really help but there's this thing about seeing someone (an old person in particular) who's somewhat disabled or have some sort of mental disease being alone in a bench or in a bus that hurts me deep inside without really knowing why. It's like I just feel instant empathy without any warnings. But when I see someone who looks somewhat mad it just ruins my day.. But when I'm depressed, none of these people's emotion affect me at all, I just feel grumpy and not even care about anyone all the time. Thus, making me feel like I'm INTJ sometimes. But I'm pretty sure I'm not INTJ, because my emotions seem to be controlling my judging trait most of the time and not logical thinking. I can also feel or tell (probably guessing. just my instinct) if someone is being sincere or genuine in what they show to other people. For example, if someone gets teary, I can tell if they really are feeling somewhat sad, or they're just trying to get attention or maybe it's just their contact lenses...lol

Again, sorry for this being long, I just wanted to be as clear as possible because I really want to know which personality type I am. Thank you.

 

[Misadventure]

I'm an INFP, so we would need some INFJ's to chime in on this. But from my experience living with an INFJ and befriending them, the whole "hyper organization" sounds like OCD when you read it, when in reality it's more like: Books piles laying everywhere...but alphabetized or piled by genre. Clothing piles thrown here and there, but all the darks in one pile, towels in another, etc. The organization skills of an INFJ actually look, at first, like a lack of it. LOL. But there is method to this madness and usually only the INFJ knows. Ever felt after you cleaned and organized that you simply couldn't find anything again? But these are little things that are rather meaningless. An INFP like me would be more worried about "OMG there's a pile of clothes on the floor! What if they see it?!" if someone came over where an INFJ would be "OMG don't touch that pile of clothes! It's there for a reason!"

It's all about the FeNi for an INFJ. Which is why I'm certain I'm not one. They conceal a great deal of what they really think, they give very sound advice but are stubborn to take it, they are the best listeners in the world when you need them to be, but they don't get all gushy and touchy feely when you're whining about something that's within your power to change. This can piss them off, lol. Whereas an INFP would be like, "omg, you poor thing! Come here and let's hug." An INFJ would be like "omg, you poor thing, I told you so. Are you going to listen to me next time? Learn your lesson already! Now come here, let's have a hug." They are stubborn and willful, they hate conflict but aren't opposed to fighting back. An INFP when conflict arises will usually either try to change the subject or just walk away... "Yeah... I'm out. Call ya later after you've cooled off." And an INFJ would be like, "I see this is bothering you, let's talk about it, your feelings on this matter to me as much as my own. I need this resolved between us else I will not be able to sleep tonight."

They are the most loving creatures on the planet. They have so much respect for humans, nature, animals, every living thing on this planet. An INFP would be more like, "Think of the puppies for goodness sakes!" And an INFJ would be like, "Not just the puppies, the mother of the puppies, the owner of the mother, and how that all somehow relates to every child on earth and how everything is connected through one single beating heart! Don't you see it? Don't you feel it?!"

Anyway, my INFP take on the differences between us and INFJs. I love all you INFJ's so very much. This world would be sooo dark without you. But I also think this world would be incredibly boring without us INFPs to shake things up every now and then!

 

[wingedfriend]

Ever felt after you cleaned and organized that you simply couldn't find anything again? But these are little things that are rather meaningless. An INFP like me would be more worried about "OMG there's a pile of clothes on the floor! What if they see it?!" if someone came over where an INFJ would be "OMG don't touch that pile of clothes! It's there for a reason!"

Woah, I can actually relate to that, my mother is an ISTJ and she likes to clean or organize stuff, and I always tell her don't touch my stuff because it always goes missing after she cleans. She sees my textbook on the table and she tried to put in somewhere else, clean and organized. But I had enough time to remind her "Mom! Don't touch any of my stuffs! It's there for me to remember!"
But I also have the urge to hide my disorganized stuff so other people won't see it. But I think that I got that as a habit from my mom who always told me as a kid to hide every toys and mess to my room because we were having a visitor.

 

[La Sagna]

I'm an INFP, so we would need some INFJ's to chime in on this. But from my experience living with an INFJ and befriending them, the whole "hyper organization" sounds like OCD when you read it, when in reality it's more like: Books piles laying everywhere...but alphabetized or piled by genre. Clothing piles thrown here and there, but all the darks in one pile, towels in another, etc. The organization skills of an INFJ actually look, at first, like a lack of it. LOL. But there is method to this madness and usually only the INFJ knows. Ever felt after you cleaned and organized that you simply couldn't find anything again? But these are little things that are rather meaningless. An INFP like me would be more worried about "OMG there's a pile of clothes on the floor! What if they see it?!" if someone came over where an INFJ would be "OMG don't touch that pile of clothes! It's there for a reason!"

It's all about the FeNi for an INFJ. Which is why I'm certain I'm not one. They conceal a great deal of what they really think, they give very sound advice but are stubborn to take it, they are the best listeners in the world when you need them to be, but they don't get all gushy and touchy feely when you're whining about something that's within your power to change. This can piss them off, lol. Whereas an INFP would be like, "omg, you poor thing! Come here and let's hug." An INFJ would be like "omg, you poor thing, I told you so. Are you going to listen to me next time? Learn your lesson already! Now come here, let's have a hug." They are stubborn and willful, they hate conflict but aren't opposed to fighting back. An INFP when conflict arises will usually either try to change the subject or just walk away... "Yeah... I'm out. Call ya later after you've cooled off." And an INFJ would be like, "I see this is bothering you, let's talk about it, your feelings on this matter to me as much as my own. I need this resolved between us else I will not be able to sleep tonight."

They are the most loving creatures on the planet. They have so much respect for humans, nature, animals, every living thing on this planet. An INFP would be more like, "Think of the puppies for goodness sakes!" And an INFJ would be like, "Not just the puppies, the mother of the puppies, the owner of the mother, and how that all somehow relates to every child on earth and how everything is connected through one single beating heart! Don't you see it? Don't you feel it?!"

Anyway, my INFP take on the differences between us and INFJs. I love all you INFJ's so very much. This world would be sooo dark without you. But I also think this world would be incredibly boring without us INFPs to shake things up every now and then!

I don't know how the INFP would be but your description of the INFJ is very accurate for me.

For the organization part, if you would look at my office right now you would think that I am the most disorganized person because there are piles everywhere. But those piles have an organization that only I know and if anybody else touches those piles or moves things around it messes me up completely. My motto is `organized chaos', lol. I need to feel like I have it under control, but only I know if it is under control or not. To my ESFJ dad it looks like a disaster zone and if he could he would start throwing away things and 'organizing' but he is not allowed anywhere near my stuff. I have a system, others just can't see it.

 

[Misadventure]

Some visual examples of the differences

And my personal favorite:

MBTI- The quick and dirty method:

Yup, Moody Know-it-all Emo Stressed twit here. What's your type?

 

[Misadventure]

Also from one of my favorite INFJ's on the forum and ever: We were discussing the concept of the whole "glass is either half empty or half full" mentality. Optimism versus pessimism. My INFP-self said the glass is half full, her INFJ-self said so matter-of-factly, "No, it is in fact always full. Half air and half liquid. Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it isn't there." <-- a very INFJ statement. LOL.

 

[poetress]

Oh, I remember searching up a lot of stuff about the differences between INFP and INFJ. Just remember, it's not merely a question about J or P preference, but a question of which of these very different combinations of cognitive functions resonates with you the most.

Here, I'll link an old thread from this forum and we can discuss it, see if it's accurate (always a question, especially with things like these really general, sweeping profiles).

A Functional Analysis: http://www.infjs.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14424

 

[wingedfriend]

Oh, I remember searching up a lot of stuff about the differences between INFP and INFJ. Just remember, it's not merely a question about J or P preference, but a question of which of these very different combinations of cognitive functions resonates with you the most.

Here, I'll link an old thread from this forum and we can discuss it, see if it's accurate (always a question, especially with things like these really general, sweeping profiles).

A Functional Analysis: http://www.infjs.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14424

I've read it all. Unfortunately, I still can't type myself as INFP/J because for some reason I feel self contradicted. I have one trait of the INFP while the other trait I have was an INFJ one. I think it has something to do with forming habits from what I've picked up from other people and experience while growing. It's almost like not knowing my own true identity
Is there a way someone can help me type myself by asking certain questions to me and giving you answers to what or how what I feel in a certain situation?

And thank you btw for the link. I've got an idea about the differences, but like I said, I still have a hard time typing myself as an INFP or J.

 

[wingedfriend]

I appreciate the pictures and the link. I got more understanding of the differences between the two. Unfortunately, I still can't type myself as INFP or J because I think I share a trait of an INFP and then an INFJ one. But I do believe it might have something to do with my current situation in life or the things that i learned and became a habit.

But does depression really affect our behavior/personalities in a way that we might mistype ourselves?

 

[Misadventure]

there are a couple of thoughts I have on this.

One is that Yes, your personality can drastically be altered by depression.
And also, I never take type into account till you're over 20. I'm not being an ageist or anything, but your brain and mind are still developing and this could also change your type.

 

[Oscillation]

Hello, wingedfriend!

Very shortly: are you really searching for an answer to your personality type, or are you searching for something else? Sometimes we wrap up our inner desires in other words, not thinking about it really.

 

[wingedfriend]

Hello, wingedfriend!

Very shortly: are you really searching for an answer to your personality type, or are you searching for something else? Sometimes we wrap up our inner desires in other words, not thinking about it really.

I am searching for an answer to my personality type.

 

[poetress]

I appreciate the pictures and the link. I got more understanding of the differences between the two. Unfortunately, I still can't type myself as INFP or J because I think I share a trait of an INFP and then an INFJ one. But I do believe it might have something to do with my current situation in life or the things that i learned and became a habit.

But does depression really affect our behavior/personalities in a way that we might mistype ourselves?

Yes, definitely. I haven't researched much about functions under stress, but from what I've read, the inferior function plays a part. Maybe you could look at inferior Se vs. inferior Te under stress? Hope this helps!

 

[wingedfriend]

Can I maybe list some of the things I know about myself when I was still somewhat in control and not depressed? Maybe that'll help? Or was I too young at that time? Probably when I was in elementary to 7th grade lol

 

[poetress]

[MENTION=14069]wingedfriend[/MENTION] That might help, but I'm not trained to be a MBTI practioneer, so take my opinions about how your childhood reflected your personality with a grain of salt. But I'd be happy to try and help as best as I could!

Anyone else out in the big wide world with thoughts about this?

 

[wingedfriend]

Ok so to start off, I was a really shy kid back then. But I loved playing, I wanted to play with some friends but my mom won't let me. But I wasn't that fond to making friends. I like being in a small group of friends and I actually like it when there's only a few kids in the classroom. I was obviously an introvert, not because I'm shy but because I get tired when I'm around big crowds.

I didn't have that much self esteem before. I had stage fright, but its improving now that I'm growing up.

At home as a kid, I would sometimes notice myself daydreaming and when I get excited about what I'm daydreaming about, I dreamed about the things that I would like to happen in the future. I tend to walk. Walk and walk and walk around until I realize my mom was creeped out lol. Then she told me I was just like my father, he liked to walk and walk around too.
At school, I wasn't one of those girly girls. I used to play with boys. And I didn't enjoy toys like barbie either. I just thought that there's nothing I could do with all those plastic stuff, but I liked stuffed toys because I could hug them.
About academics, I was getting good grades, but I didn't study lol (one of my biggest fail in childhood) I was overconfident that I'll be able to pass the exams and tests without studying and I did. I sometimes get perfect scores. But didn't really make good use of my notes.

We had our first computer when I was 10 years old. That was the beggining of everything. My life was basically always about playing games on the computer. That was actually my mom's way of keeping me from going outside to play with friends (tricky mom...) And like I said, I started to learn about different things in computer. I learned them by watching and following tutorials on YouTube, some things I figured out by myself. How to tweak my pc speed, internet and etc. I was well aware of the current internet speed, how my RAM is going and also the graphic cards that could barely even play games, but I tried all the tweaks that I can to play a game even on the lowest possible setting. I liked playing single player more than multiplayer games. I only play on multiplayer when playing with close friends of mine. I liked open world games but I eventually get bored of doing literally anything randomly. I also liked the games where you have to follow an objective or a mission. I feel like I fulfilled something when I finish a campaign. I only play open world when I'm bored. I think the main reason why I got somewhat addicted to computer is because I had no one to play with or to talk with. My mom was strict. But I also didn't like being with people that I'm not close with. I was mainly interested in gadgets and technology. I liked how amazing they work.
But I think one more reason I like playing with games is because when I was 3 or 4 my cousins would come over and play with me with PlayStation one (ah, good times good times.) I was the only child and only living with my mother and grandmother. Never seen my father in person. So our house was pretty lonely. I could barely even call it a family.

My mom and grandma would often fight and it really made me sad. I didn't like it when they get mad to eachother. I felt like everything was going down. So I usually stay at school late before going home because I didn't want to be with them when they fight.

I wasn't like all the other girls who's so obssesed with how they looked like. I even disliked those girly girls. I just had my own world in school and I sometimes played with boys and some of the Introverted girls too. Girls were mostly scary that time.

In the classroom, I was a very quiet kid, but I tend to talk to my seatmate in a wrong timing (while the teacher is talking or teaching something) then the teacher gets mad. That was really humiliating for me and I hated that a lot. I felt like some of my teachera didn't like me or had favoritism towards other kids at school. But I was pretty smart so I didn't care that much about those.

One of the things that I really noticed is how I feel really bad when something unfortunate happens to someone except for those I hated and thought "ha! Good for them!"

Let's say someone thought that they won the competition in a contest, but the announcer said that the winner was somebody else, it was like I was the one feeling embarrassed and it really makes me feel sad and disappointed.

Another example would be when someone tries to talk to their "group" of friends and then everyone just ignored her, I'd feel betrayed. I get the feeling of the person getting ignored. I feel like I was being ignored too.

One last example would be something that actually happened.

In the news there was an old woman, a poor one and she saw a bill on the ground. Idk the exact amount was but she was so happy and she used to it buy groceries for her grandchildren, but when she went to the cashier, the money she used was actually a PLAYMONEY, I was thinking maybe she's too old or something that's why she didn't know that PLAYMONEY existed (there are many uneducated people in our country when they grow old, so I'd say that's one reason. Ignorance.) I felt really sad and devastated when I heard the news, idk but I felt really bad for her that it actually hurt me.

Can anyone type me from what I just wrote here? Maybe it's neither of the two MBTI type? I'd be willing to list more if I remember something or you guys ask me a question. Thanks again.

Oh! One more thing, I hated art at school. Because I couldn't do that good with art. I sucked at art and believed that everything I did wasn't creative at all. Pretty much I wasn't good at creating something lol. I mean, i had difficulties trying to apply to he real world what i was thinking of. But i like coloring. I preferred something that has guidelines. But I liked drawing random stuff when I'm bored on my notebook or paper based on my mood.

 

[wingedfriend]

Anyone? Okay I'll try a bullet style list:

- shy and socially awkward
-walks in circle while daydreaming at home
-preffered small circles with really close friends
-video games and computer
-gadget/technology geek
- I was always bad at sports and physical games, but I enjoyed it anyway
- didn't put much time studying but got good grades
- didn't like art because I simply couldn't express my creativity
- was somewhat insecure
- I was confident when I say I'm better than anyone in my school when it comes to using the computer (not just for playing games but the complexity of computer)
-bad at directions (kind of)
-always felt different from anyone
- somewhat sensitive
-I used to be somewhat messy but now I can actually be organized (I think part of growing up too)
-get somewhat worried when someone is angry
-wasn't like the other girls who gets into relationship and girly stuffs
-was never interested in making myself look pretty. I'm pretty bad at it too I guess lol
-I don't trust people who are too outgoing or extrovert.
-didn't like barbies and dolls because I couldn't do anything with it and thought that it was pointless. (Stuffed toys are huggable at least)
-hates putting too much details on projects


I also remember one thing that I don't do anymore. I'll try my best to explain it.

So when I'm walking or in a car, I would imagine myself already reaching a certain destination and then actually feel what it feels like, and when we get there I remember the time when I was imagining what it would be like and it felt good for some reason. I always thought this was a weird thing that I always did lol but after living 2&half years in Japan, I feel like I've been daydreaming about changing my life and how people see me by changing my past...idk why but this started when I became depressed.

And when I was in the worst days of depression, I skipped school and cry and almost feeling like I want to die because I couldn't understand what exactly it is that I feel, because theres just a ton and I didn't exactly know what to do or to feel or to show anymore. I pretty much lost interest in everything and just wanted to sleep and sleep and then cry again because of all the unexplainable mixed emotions I feel. I would listen to a sad music and imagine other people being nice to me and understand me. But that didn't really help either.

 

[Gaze]

You seem more INFP than INFJ. Just a vibe.

 

[poetress]

Here are my thoughts, and I hope this helps [MENTION=14069]wingedfriend[/MENTION]. I think to get the most accurate reading, you should do some research on your own and reflect. You know yourself much better than any of us do, and I'm sure you'll figure out what MBTI you are!

Okay, so some of the things you wrote, especially your habit of daydreaming and difficulties with applying to the real world the things you were thinking of, remind me of the INFJ Ni-Se dynamic.

I also thought that your fascination with computers was very Ti; I know when I'm really invested in something that I'll behave similarly, really want to know everything and then get sucked into a black hole of information as a result.

Your sympathy toward others struck to me more as Fe, especially when you wrote that you would sometimes feel personally insulted or betrayed even when those acts were committed towards others.

I'm really busy now with work, but tell me if you want me to elaborate and I'll expand my thinking when I get the time.

 

[wingedfriend]

Here are my thoughts, and I hope this helps [MENTION=14069]wingedfriend[/MENTION]. I think to get the most accurate reading, you should do some research on your own and reflect. You know yourself much better than any of us do, and I'm sure you'll figure out what MBTI you are!

Okay, so some of the things you wrote, especially your habit of daydreaming and difficulties with applying to the real world the things you were thinking of, remind me of the INFJ Ni-Se dynamic.

I also thought that your fascination with computers was very Ti; I know when I'm really invested in something that I'll behave similarly, really want to know everything and then get sucked into a black hole of information as a result.

Your sympathy toward others struck to me more as Fe, especially when you wrote that you would sometimes feel personally insulted or betrayed even when those acts were committed towards others.

I'm really busy now with work, but tell me if you want me to elaborate and I'll expand my thinking when I get the time.

Thanks for the response! I'll appreciate the elaboration but please take your time, I understand.

I was doing further research during my free time and I can really feel like both. But the thing is, I can reflect to the INFJ personality and function descriptions when I feel "not-so-depressed" while reading INFP described me when I feel hopeless. I'm not saying that INFPs are mostly depressing or somewhat inferior, I don't mean to offend any INFP here, INFPs are really nice people.

I also just want to add that I tend to post a lot of stuff on my Facebook timeline about how I feel or what I think. I just like to share to my friends what's going on and I sometimes find it comforting when someone comments or like it (not hoarding likes, I just appreciate it when an effort is given to actually read and press a button on my post) and that I was able to vent out my thoughts and feelings. I feel like an extrovert on Facebook but totally different in real life lol.
I read somewhere that this might be an INFJ characteristic. Is it?