aging partners | INFJ Forum

aging partners

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Gaze

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How do you feel about an aging partner? By "aging partner" I mean someone who is aging past you mentally, physically, or emotionally? How does it affect you and your relationship with them? Does or would it bother you if your partner seemed much older than you although you may be in the same age group? Do you think your feelings about your partner would change if they aged faster than you?
 
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Yes. They need to stay young and healthy. Get to the gym etc. Keep their stamina up.

o_O what?
 
Eventhorizon said:
Yes. They need to stay young and healthy. Get to the gym etc. Keep their stamina up.

o_O what?
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Wow, people read the weirdest things into a question. This topic came to mind because moving to late 30s, I noticed that men and women age differently at this age. Women in their thirties tend to seem and appear older than their male counterparts. So, I was curious about how it affected the relationship. Point was not about whether you should ditch them for someone more physically fit. My question was more about the social and emotional consequences of living with someone who is aging past you.
 
So my attempt to be funny was lost. :) sorry.

People rarely grow in the same direction or at the same rate. Older women do seem to lose their sense of fun quickly. Its like they have this switch that flips that tells them to stay in place and build a home or something. I think of homes as more of base camps. Perhaps thats just me though.
 
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Aging is part of life. I don't care as long as one ages gracefully.
 
[MENTION=1425]Korg[/MENTION] Ha ha ha! Well I am not aging gracefully at all so I guess that means you care. :)
 
Eventhorizon said:
So my attempt to be funny was lost. :) sorry.
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Sorry, my mistake. :)

People rarely grow in the same direction or at the same rate. Older women do seem to lose their sense of fun quickly. Its like they have this switch that flips that tells them to stay in place and build a home or something. I think of homes as more of base camps. Perhaps thats just me though
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I don't think older women lose their sense of fun. It depends on the person and their circumstances. When responsibility sets in, people can't be focused on having fun all the time. The stresses of life can have an effect on how well someone enjoys their life. When I said women at 30s age differently than men the same age, I was referring mostly to physical appearance, not necessarily spirit. I know many women 40+ who are vibrant, lively, and enjoy life very well, and it's sometimes the men in their life who are not as "fun." So, it varies.
 
Korg said:
Aging is part of life. I don't care as long as one ages gracefully.
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How would you define "aging gracefully"?
 
I'm still not sure I understand the question. Can you clarify?
 
pics said:
How do you feel about an aging partner? By "aging partner" I mean someone who is aging past you mentally, physically, or emotionally? How does it affect you and your relationship with them? Does or would it bother you if your partner seemed much older than you although you may be in the same age group? Do you think your feelings about your partner would change if they aged faster than you?
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I'm going through something similar with my husband.

There are benefits to getting older such as no more worries about reproduction, kids finally leaving home, less financial concerns. Libido problems seem to come to the forefront a bit too much for my liking but then there is the presence of a more mature love which is startling in many respects. It's as though we can now say anything to each other and we feel each other more than previously. We have become more connected.

His aging process seems to have slowed down since he revamped his appearance recently. I think it all took him by surprise somewhat. He has been sharing more vocally with me lately and I am hoping this new closeness is part of a greater process that will put right the libido issue.

So, we are pretty reflective at the moment and seem to be coming out of a bit of a strange period. Kind of reminds me of what we went through at the 7, then 14 year markers of our relationship. This time it's about opening up yet more emotionally and sex is a bit of an issue. Previously it was about independence and how much we shared verbally.

I think the main changes are to do with getting ready to lose parents and becoming different sort of parents and partners ourselves. Not easy shifts to navigate but we seem to be being pulled together more strongly.
 
pics said:
How would you define "aging gracefully"?
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Embracing it.

Living up to your best, even though that changes with time. Eating well, staying active, not trying to fight aging with botox and shit like that. I hate that attitude of "I'm over 30 now...fuck it. Life's over. I'm just going to turn into a lazy, diabetic lump of shit and let big pharma keep me alive."
 
pics said:
How do you feel about an aging partner? By "aging partner" I mean someone who is aging past you mentally, physically, or emotionally? How does it affect you and your relationship with them? Does or would it bother you if your partner seemed much older than you although you may be in the same age group? Do you think your feelings about your partner would change if they aged faster than you?
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This is difficult to answer but I will try.
My partner and I are the same age but I come from a lucky blend of longevity and health. I have no gray hair or wrinkles and look/act much younger than my partner. He is very decanal looking with a gray beard. Distinguished.
I don't want to repeat what I stated in another thread but this does cause issues for me because we are now out of sync and he is less interested than I am in certain "things".
Also, I still seem to attract a very wide range of men of all ages. He used to attract the clingy, giggly late 20's type (my complete opposite) but not so much anymore from what I can tell.
This has never caused issues in the past but now I am thinking about other people, sort of out of frustration, so my feelings about him are changing mostly due to feeling rejected by him.
I don't know if that answers your question.
 
Korg said:
Embracing it.

Living up to your best, even though that changes with time. Eating well, staying active, not trying to fight aging with botox and shit like that. I hate that attitude of "I'm over 30 now...fuck it. Life's over. I'm just going to turn into a lazy, diabetic lump of shit and let big pharma keep me alive."
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big pharma keeping people alive? you jest sir!
 
muir said:
big pharma keeping people alive? you jest sir!
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Antibiotics?

But to go along with your point somewhat: let's say it helps control the primary effects. The secondary ones are a different matter...
 
Korg said:
Antibiotics?

But to go along with your point somewhat: let's say it helps control the primary effects. The secondary ones are a different matter...
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They don't want to treat anyone as that destroys their market

They want customers for life

They want people chronically ill and dependent on their products...cue growth in auto immune disorders

Also antibiotics are over prescribed and pumped into food and milk etc so that they are losing effectiveness. besides they are no substitute for a healthy immune system
 
muir said:
besides they are no substitute for a healthy immune system
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Come on, muir. I'm sure you can see the flaw in this.

We don't have polio outbreaks these days because Jonas Salk developed a vaccine. Prior to that, the human immune system wasn't capable of handling it and people were crippled for life. Likewise, HIV was an absolute death sentence 30 years ago, but today people can pretty much live normal lives despite carrying the virus.

Not all medicine is bad.
 
Korg said:
Come on, muir. I'm sure you can see the flaw in this.

We don't have polio outbreaks these days because Jonas Salk developed a vaccine. Prior to that, the human immune system wasn't capable of handling it and people were crippled for life. Likewise, HIV was an absolute death sentence 30 years ago, but today people can pretty much live normal lives despite carrying the virus.

Not all medicine is bad.
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Read the thread on vaccines to get my perspective on that

In short though i think that a lot of the credit given to vaccines should really be given to improvements in housing, drinking water quality and food production

I think james corbett gives an interesting perspective on modern medicine

[video=youtube;X6J_7PvWoMw]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6J_7PvWoMw[/video]
 
muir said:
In short though i think that a lot of the credit given to vaccines should really be given to improvements in housing, drinking water quality and food production
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Would you let me inject you with polio if you weren't allowed to have access to the vaccine?
 
Korg said:
Would you let me inject you with polio if you weren't allowed to have access to the vaccine?
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I wouldn't allow you to inject me with polio full stop (period)
 
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