Hi everyone, this is my first post, but I thought I'd come to this forum to seek some advice on developing what I think is a budding relationship with an INFJ male. 
I'm an INTJ female that has fallen for him, if that information helps at all.
I tend to pose as an ENTJ as a business student, and the INFJ is the first person since I started university I can be around in my own self. He said so the same thing to me, third meeting in. We met and bonded easily after our second college lecture together, and we've hung out once every week or so, depending on our schedules, because they are often in conflict. Sometimes we manage to catch each other online and we talk for a while, but just casually. We both have a lot of separate commitments; he works, I work, and I keep a full course load including extra-curricular activities. We don't live near each other, and we only have a class together. We've then since hung out on Valentine's, watching dorky movies and all - and he's given me gifts, which I reciprocate as well. He's an aspiring writer, and I illustrate his characters for him.
I've been beginning to pull back slightly, since our friendship (let's call it that) has sped up really fast, and I'm not sure how to handle all the emotions, and I want time for him to think things through as well, and date only when he's ready, since he was in an unhealthy relationship a few years back and is still recovering from it. We met again yesterday after our Valentine's date, and I realized he was super shy - as was I. I don't know what to do now, if I should keep the friendship at this stage, and wait for him to be ready, or if I should be more direct towards him. He already told me I could "hold his hand whenever I wanted to" but I'm uncertain how I should react to any of this. I don't want to ruin our friendship since we have class together, and everything can just go sour, and awkward.
Like a typical INTJ female, I really prefer closure in terms of whether or not if he really likes me, since then I could plan my summer term and work accordingly . If he or isn't ready yet, at least I know where we are, and we can work something out or remain friends. Also, I have several male friends including an INTJ, INTP, ENTJ and ESFJ, who to the INFJ I've been communicating to, that they are only friends. I understand INFJs can be clingy at times, but I do want to be able to express that I enjoy having intellectual male acquaintances and will still have to work with them in my faculty, but who won't ever be more than friends or acquaintances.
Any advice or comments related to an INTJ female & INFJ male relationship would be very much appreciated. I've never had an intimate relationship, and call me idealistic or romantic, I don't think I'd find anyone else where we share such similar bonds and family parallels. Perhaps my first relationship with an INFJ male will set me up for extremely high expectations in the future, and always disappoint myself. I hope this relationship will work, because I've never, ever, felt this close to another person, male or female, family or acquaintance, before. Thanks a bunch!
I'm an INTJ female that has fallen for him, if that information helps at all. I tend to pose as an ENTJ as a business student, and the INFJ is the first person since I started university I can be around in my own self. He said so the same thing to me, third meeting in. We met and bonded easily after our second college lecture together, and we've hung out once every week or so, depending on our schedules, because they are often in conflict. Sometimes we manage to catch each other online and we talk for a while, but just casually. We both have a lot of separate commitments; he works, I work, and I keep a full course load including extra-curricular activities. We don't live near each other, and we only have a class together. We've then since hung out on Valentine's, watching dorky movies and all - and he's given me gifts, which I reciprocate as well. He's an aspiring writer, and I illustrate his characters for him.
I've been beginning to pull back slightly, since our friendship (let's call it that) has sped up really fast, and I'm not sure how to handle all the emotions, and I want time for him to think things through as well, and date only when he's ready, since he was in an unhealthy relationship a few years back and is still recovering from it. We met again yesterday after our Valentine's date, and I realized he was super shy - as was I. I don't know what to do now, if I should keep the friendship at this stage, and wait for him to be ready, or if I should be more direct towards him. He already told me I could "hold his hand whenever I wanted to" but I'm uncertain how I should react to any of this. I don't want to ruin our friendship since we have class together, and everything can just go sour, and awkward.
Like a typical INTJ female, I really prefer closure in terms of whether or not if he really likes me, since then I could plan my summer term and work accordingly . If he or isn't ready yet, at least I know where we are, and we can work something out or remain friends. Also, I have several male friends including an INTJ, INTP, ENTJ and ESFJ, who to the INFJ I've been communicating to, that they are only friends. I understand INFJs can be clingy at times, but I do want to be able to express that I enjoy having intellectual male acquaintances and will still have to work with them in my faculty, but who won't ever be more than friends or acquaintances.
Any advice or comments related to an INTJ female & INFJ male relationship would be very much appreciated. I've never had an intimate relationship, and call me idealistic or romantic, I don't think I'd find anyone else where we share such similar bonds and family parallels. Perhaps my first relationship with an INFJ male will set me up for extremely high expectations in the future, and always disappoint myself. I hope this relationship will work, because I've never, ever, felt this close to another person, male or female, family or acquaintance, before. Thanks a bunch!
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