Whats wrong with disliking small talk? What is the purpose of talking to me about the weather when we are both experiencing it? Or last nights football game when we both know the score?
10 Myths about Introverts
- Thread starter ~jet
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I dislike small talk because it makes me feel like a dork... :doh:
bringing up the obvious..it's so embarrassing and offputting. i'd rather just be quiet lol
bringing up the obvious..it's so embarrassing and offputting. i'd rather just be quiet lol
I'd like to take a moment to separate one's dislike of small talk from your misunderstanding of the purpose of communication.
Surprise surprise, smalltalk has got nothing to do with looking out the window and discovering the weather. It is a polite and refined mode of interaction that shows you are ready to engage with another person in a nonthreatening way, just as much as putting your head down and crossing your arms shows that you are not interested in engaging. It is a deeply considerate and highly sociable way of setting others at ease, because with new acquaintances, being standoffish and observing silence is almost as unkind as complete ostracism. It is also a way of getting acquainted with someone to see if you would like to know each other more, without being confrontational or treading on any toes, because not everyone is comfortable with revealing deeper things about themselves straight away. If you find that you don't get along on a deeper level, the smalltalk still functions to lubricate the social setting, and makes it possible to be together comfortably in situations where there is no other choice. With people we already know it is a way of moderating interaction, of giving each other breathing space in which to collect thoughts and emotions, even of expressing companionship and caring through gentle humour. Making small talk is a skill, and it takes a lot of practice to be good at it.
If someone is trying to do smalltalk with you, you should be flattered, because it means that they are making an effort to make you feel comfortable, and it means that they are making an effort to get to know you without offending you. On the other hand, if you are wanting to constantly remain immersed in deep and meaningful discussion, even with complete strangers, you are probably a bit too intense for most people to feel comfortable around.
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I talk slowly because i do, i give clear instructions that can be easily understood when asked.
Talking shit fast i find funny unless there is some content.
but please don't think i am stupid because i talk clearly and slowly.
If you mock me i will run rings around you and make you look like a fool.
Talking shit fast i find funny unless there is some content.
but please don't think i am stupid because i talk clearly and slowly.
If you mock me i will run rings around you and make you look like a fool.
Smalltalk is an object-oriented, dynamically typed, reflective programming language. Smalltalk was created as the language to underpin the "new world" of computing exemplified by "human–computer symbiosis."
therefore everything you just said is invalid.
TWSS
therefore everything you just said is invalid.
Surprise surprise, smalltalk has got nothing to do with looking out the window and discovering the weather. It is a polite and refined mode of interaction that shows you are ready to engage with another person in a nonthreatening way, just as much as putting your head down and crossing your arms shows that you are not interested in engaging. It is a deeply considerate and highly sociable way of setting others at ease, because with new acquaintances, being standoffish and observing silence is almost as unkind as complete ostracism. It is also a way of getting acquainted with someone to see if you would like to know each other more, without being confrontational or treading on any toes, because not everyone is comfortable with revealing deeper things about themselves straight away. If you find that you don't get along on a deeper level, the smalltalk still functions to lubricate the social setting, and makes it possible to be together comfortably in situations where there is no other choice. With people we already know it is a way of moderating interaction, of giving each other breathing space in which to collect thoughts and emotions, even of expressing companionship and caring through gentle humour. Making small talk is a skill, and it takes a lot of practice to be good at it.
If someone is trying to do smalltalk with you, you should be flattered, because it means that they are making an effort to make you feel comfortable, and it means that they are making an effort to get to know you without offending you. On the other hand, if you are wanting to constantly remain immersed in deep and meaningful discussion, even with complete strangers, you are probably a bit too intense for most people to feel comfortable around.
TWSS
Surprise surprise, smalltalk has got nothing to do with looking out the window and discovering the weather. It is a polite and refined mode of interaction that shows you are ready to engage with another person in a nonthreatening way, just as much as putting your head down and crossing your arms shows that you are not interested in engaging. It is a deeply considerate and highly sociable way of setting others at ease, because with new acquaintances, being standoffish and observing silence is almost as unkind as complete ostracism. It is also a way of getting acquainted with someone to see if you would like to know each other more, without being confrontational or treading on any toes, because not everyone is comfortable with revealing deeper things about themselves straight away. If you find that you don't get along on a deeper level, the smalltalk still functions to lubricate the social setting, and makes it possible to be together comfortably in situations where there is no other choice. With people we already know it is a way of moderating interaction, of giving each other breathing space in which to collect thoughts and emotions, even of expressing companionship and caring through gentle humour. Making small talk is a skill, and it takes a lot of practice to be good at it.
If someone is trying to do smalltalk with you, you should be flattered, because it means that they are making an effort to make you feel comfortable, and it means that they are making an effort to get to know you without offending you. On the other hand, if you are wanting to constantly remain immersed in deep and meaningful discussion, even with complete strangers, you are probably a bit too intense for most people to feel comfortable around.
AAAAA! This terrified me a little bit lol!
-- my sister in law is a hairdresser and she is an expert in small-talk. I am awed by her skills. I learned to cut my own hair to avoid small talk though -- haha
oh -- nothing personal..you seem really personable and outgoing and that is admirable
just that smalltalk is especially taxing to me personally. I work in a huge office building with hundreds of people on my floor and to get to my cube, I have to run the gauntlet..."how are you" "how's it going" or the dreaded, "what did you do this weekend" I crave a deeper interaction. I have always wished people would start out with something like, "so, what's your philosophy in life?" or "who is your favorite surrealist painter" or something like that. I know i'm in the minority
I wasn't intending that remark to be facetious - I was enjoying our "smalltalk".
In the last place I worked, there was a culture of ostracism. People I worked with for 5 years would walk straight past me without looking at me every morning as though I wasn't there, as though I were a customer. I did nothing there but work my heart out, I gave everything I had to doing good work, and people couldn't even manage "Good morning!" It's not my fault they had no manners, but it cut every time.
People might start out with things like that when they get to know you a little better, right? If they find out a bit more about you. But well like for example, some people who don't know anything about abstract art, or who feel afraid of the word "philosophy", might be embarrassed by a question like that. But... I hope you get your wish.
