INFJ relationships

Do any INFJs have advice for communication with an INTJ? It feels like my boyfriend and me are almost speaking the same language, but not exactly. Something is lost in translation at times, and I would like to know how to speak his language better.

Wyote said:

Not sure what you're looking for exactly, but INTJs view things through a systems architecture lens, whereas INFJs view things through a human architecture lens.
We both often arrive at similar conclusions but the path is very different.
INTJs see pathways to efficiency.
INFJs see pathways to harmony.
Often those two things align.

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The problem I find is that it's like he isn't always aware of the effect his actions have on other people.

He doesn't mean to hurt them and isn't malicious about it, but there's a disconnect.

I try to explain to him how he affected them, but he hears the words without really listening.

I find this quality of his admirable because he does not mean to cause harm, as some do, but I would like to help him connect with the other person.

I think @Wyote nailed it here, though I'd add that maybe you can try to present it to your bf in a way which plugs into something he values or carry over the value you see (harmony, diplomacy) and turn it into a metaphor for something which is rather important to him. While you won't get him to see it exactly like you, equating value can create enough of a bridge between the two for him to understand that it is important.

Not sure how you would do this precisely though this would be the approach I'd pick (and have with some INTJs close to me in the past) to get them to see from close to my vantage point.

I read the video summary and I have to disagree with the video. ...Too general. If I was forced to be with a "T", I think I'd lose it. Percentages matter. Since I'm over 80% feeling, I think I might cause a "T" a headache, and they would break my heart. I prefer extroverts, as it keeps everything more exciting.

Over everything else, I trust my compass. When I am magnetized to someone, they always end up being an ENFP. They are so interesting and fun. However I avoid avoid avoid. They disappear quite often, seem irresponsible in some cases, and or are too inconsistent for me personally. The ENFP is my favorite type, there is sooo much gravity there. Still, I choose the ENFJ because they seem more grounded and reliable, which makes me feel safer, and more appreciated. In rare cases my interest in the INTJ sparks up, but fades quickly. It feels more like an eagerness to learn something. When this type of feeling lasts a long time, or seems to go deeper, they are an INTP. When someone is just cool, and sensible, very likeable, or they say what I'm thinking, they are INFJ . For me, friendships are great with any of these types. For relationships, I would choose ENFJ or maybe INFJ. There are different types of INFJs, and percentages matter. So of course my choices won't be every INFJs choices. ❤