Alien Spark between INTJ and INFJ?

XPD154

Newbie
MBTI
INFJ
Enneagram
4
So, there's a video on YouTube talking about the Spark that happens between an INFJ and an INTJ when they meet and it's like two aliens stranded on Earth making contact for the first time. Honestly, that's how I've always tried to articulate to people about what my ideal relationship would be like. I always used Species 2 as an example. Haha.
 
I think you are romanticizing thoughts as to how other personality types might complete you. Not as much thought goes into my interactions with others, I just go into friendships and romantic interests based on the person right infront of me not doing personality type searches on people in theory and then going out into the world specifically trying to find those key traits as I think that would be severely limiting yourself of experiences of actual ppl who outside of personality type labels might be ppl you pass on the street that you wouldn’t think twice of getting to know if you’re doing solely research based thinking only. The truth is that personality traits are mere tools to give you an understanding as to what’s normal for those types or what is not normal but they don’t fully define a person. There are many variations of each type and I can tell you for a fact that no two INFJs are alike so while one might love hanging out with open minded sensor types for instance maybe another prefers the idiosyncrasies of INTJs (since that’s what you are referencing in this post, I’ll use it in my example then). I personally could care less if they are a INTJ or an ISTP <insert any other personality type here I’m just using the two you recently posted about>
I care more about the person directly in front of me and how they treat me as I have witnessed way too many types step outside of what is considered “normal” behavior of their type in order to limit them and put them into boxes. That’s not giving them the grace, open mindedness, and space to grow, evolve, and thrive. Yes some do stay stuck in their patterns as to what is usual behavior for them but not always. The key for us who loves to live inside of our own heads and try to notice patterns is to step outside (since alot of us tend to be homebodies and when we do step outside we eat alone and love being by ourselves) and instead actually meet people face to face and in person versus romanticizing the perfect person for you that might not necessarily exist. Sorry If this post seems cold or cruel this is not my intention but since this is your second post about trying to classify certain types into a thought process you seem to be having, maybe step outside of this mindset and actually experience the world around you instead of by YouTube videos classifying ppl certain ways. It makes for wonderful experiences and happy moments.
 
I'm sorry, but if we're not going to talk about this kind of stuff then, why are we here? I'm sitting here, opening up, and having a good time, and someone has to come along and make me feel bad like I said or did something wrong. Again, is this not the essence of this forum? Look, I'm not getting into a long-winded lecture. If I can't enjoy myself on here, I'm just going to leave.
 
I'm sorry, but if we're not going to talk about this kind of stuff then, why are we here? I'm sitting here, opening up, and having a good time, and someone has to come along and make me feel bad like I said or did something wrong. Again, is this not the essence of this forum? Look, I'm not getting into a long-winded lecture. If I can't enjoy myself on here, I'm just going to leave.
That’s true, sorry for any offense. The only point I was trying to make was that sometimes people can surprise you and they aren’t who you originally might take them to be. I wasn’t trying to shut you down but merely have you maybe reconsider. Opening our minds allows us to accept others better. I’ve just been painted into a box more times than I can possibly count so going by personality tests alone… idk I guess like you said before do what you want. It was merely a suggestion. Honestly I could care less what people do, to each thy own.
 
If I can't enjoy myself on here, I'm just going to leave.

You will probably make @Hyacinth and others want to leave themselves, with that self-absorbed hedonistic attitude
If you can't gracefully absorb gentle input, nevermind harsh criticism elsewhere, then you are cooked in life
 
So, there's a video on YouTube talking about the Spark that happens between an INFJ and an INTJ when they meet and it's like two aliens stranded on Earth making contact for the first time. Honestly, that's how I've always tried to articulate to people about what my ideal relationship would be like. I always used Species 2 as an example. Haha.
There is definitely an affinity between INFJ and INTJ, but it's not one that can fit easily into a typology stereotype in my experience. I'm married to an INTJ and she often has little time for Fe unless it lines up with her tertiary Fi. She's quite happy with conflict and willing to upset others if she feels it necessary, occasionally leaving me cringing - at the same time she can be very scrupulous about something that seems trivial to me. She's more conscientious than I am in some ways. She's more introverted than I am and needs the same kind of lifestyle that I need. I'm emphasising the differences here because it works well for us - what is different in each of us complements us. What makes it work well too is that I'm Enneagram 5 and I'm very comfortable with Ti, whilst she is not at all technical so that tends to balance out any possible mismatch on the T function side of things.

But if you have ever come across the archetypal 'bastard boss' type of INTJ then that is totally incompatible with INFJ imho - these are the folks who, if they do become managers, have an inner vision and logic that they don't share easily with their people. They assume that folks in their staff grasp what is wanted of them without the proper explanations required by mere mortals, and they can seem to have an impenetrable social shell around them. It takes an extinction level asteroid impact to get them to alter their vision unless you can meet them on their own visionary ground. They do not suffer fools gladly, and it doesn't take much to find yourself in the fool category - often without realising how you got there. And then there's conflict - these guys are not simply comfortable with it, they love it and routinely employ it as a tool: it's completely rationalised by the drive to make their inner vision become fact, and that becomes a moral crusade for them, regardless of its emotional impact on others. As an INFJ, it's fascinating being a member of staff under such a manager because you can certainly use your innate orientation to work well with them - you have a better chance of getting inside the shell of their vision than any other type, but it's pretty exhausting. I wouldn't want such an INTJ as a life partner.

So yes - INFJ / INTJ relationships can be wonderful, but do understand what you are getting into and choose your INTJ very carefully ........
 
You will probably make @Hyacinth and others want to leave themselves, with that self-absorbed hedonistic attitude
If you can't gracefully absorb gentle input, nevermind harsh criticism elsewhere, then you are cooked in life
No, it's just as usual, I open up to a new group, I'm nice, I try to keep the talking points relevant but engaging and I just get publicly embarrassed and called out. I didn't do anything. It wasn't called for.
 
No, it's just as usual, I open up to a new group, I'm nice, I try to keep the talking points relevant but engaging and I just get publicly embarrassed and called out. I didn't do anything. It wasn't called for.

If it's a pattern you've recognized then it's you that is the common denominator
 
This is why I'm an "I".
Not really. We are introverted because we tend to have heightened senses, sight, smell, hearing, taste, and - you guessed it - feeling. This is true for all introverts. We wouldn't exist in human society unless we were needed. Every introvert has special powers that others in a tribe lack, which help to insure the tribe's survival. What we suffer from the most is that we tend to lack social skills, so we can be abrupt and rude to others without meaning to be. Part of growing up, for introverts, is learning those social skills, and some of us never stop learning them. Extroverts have all of this figured out, while we have to go through the struggle, intentionally extroverting ourselves, in order to do simple things like socializing.

Anyway, your ideal mate isn't INTJs. It's us - INTPs. The INTJ may have been mistakenly characterized and might have been an INTP. INTJs try to imitate us that way (poking fun at the other INTJs here). INFJs tend to be more bedazzled by INTPs than other types.

And also, part of socializing yourself is growing a thick skin. Taking crap from people without getting all into cry mode and whatnot. Most of the time, people are testing you to see what you'll do. You can react or you can respond. Or you can ignore and let it roll off your back.

As for getting a fix on the personality type of the person you might be dating, I think it's pretty important. There are some personality types that will be just WRONG for you, in very big ways. While one might be able to sense that the person before you just seems "wonderful" to be around, this was probably the way we figured out compaibility long before typology was ever around. However, what seems wonderful early on can turn into a nightmare later on, perhaps even years later.

The alternative to forcing yourself to extrovert and learning how to socialize is to crawl into a hole and hide for your whole life. Which isn't very fun. Get out there, get hurt, get offended, get mad, and mostly, get used to it. It's not going away.
 
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