Recent content by 80schick

My husband is an INFJ. As a child of divorced parents, he HATED divorce. Always, always said it would never be something he would do. He has no relationship with his mother as he hated her from a young age because she caused the divorce by her affair with a married man. He never saw his father...

Oranguh I am 40, so a bit more history of my personality to look back on. People ALWAYS tell me I am unusual, so much so that it makes me feel that I must be mad!!! I just cannot stay down for long!! Even in the most dire of circumstances I can laugh and I can always feel hope. Many don't...

I am accused of 'excitableness'!!! However, what I will say to that is that the men I have deep and meaningful, intense, relationships with have been INFJs!!! I sometimes hate myself for being me, and yet sometimes I am grateful for my personality. I have lots of friends but I feel that my...

Thank you all. I will try to stop posting now as I have said too much and I am too emotional but please leave anything else you feel will help and I will be most grateful. Thank you :m032:

Norwich Yes, thank you. I do understand his problem and would support him - I could never condone nor accept it for various reasons but I accept and support the overwhelming life long battle it would be and the many 'relapses'. He is a human being, as we all are, I accept that though he...

I cannot see how I am giving the impression I am not forgiving. Honestly. I have REPEATEDLY told him I am sorry, I have begged forgiveness, I have told him that if he had acted as I have I would never get over it. I DO forgive him his initial problem, in fact it is insignificant in...

Of course I would be upset if I was thrown out without being able to explain or even having the chance to, in fact upset doesn't even cove how I would feel, but, two things a) he knew how I felt about what he was involved with and we had spoken of it many times. He knew it would be the end...

I will re read my posts and it will help examine my own feelings and motives however this is where I feel I am at. I can forgive that original mistake and I absolutely agree forgiveness is that you do not bring things up again or use as a weapon (hateful and I have done it in the past). I can...

Invisible, thank you. I think I struggle with the shock of what my infj could do. It was so out of character for him and truly awful. I can be wounding and hateful in my words when hurt and angry but I could never act in the ways he has and I think this has shocked me but guess what??? I think...

Blind Bandit Thank you so much for putting yourself across in such a caring way. I don't feel I am explaining myself very well. I can forget the original problem/s, if he can - absolutely, although it isn't as simple as that as it is an ongoing problem for him. However if I come across as...

Jester Sorry but if you love deeply then you hurt deeply. My infj was himself deeply disloyal in a way that far surpassed my own. I threw him out from disbelief, shock and pain. Human emotions no??? Also, I do not recall saying I can fix it - quite the opposite or I certainly wouldn't be...

Questing Poet - thank you As I am new to this I do not know how/if I can reply to you directly (still working it out) but I just want to say the problem now is that he will not/can not talk. His answer is to say he can not deal with conflict and he doesn't want to come back. I have tried...

Honestly, I do not need justification. If I did I have OUR daughters, and my husbands also, not to mention other family members. By his own admission he kept it hidden as he knew it would mean the end of his marriage. He has said he is a manipulative hypocrite. His words, not mine. I do not...

I think you misunderstand when I say he cut people off, what I mean is he did not keep in touch, did not need to. I do not mean to imply he told them not to keep in touch or anything like that, just he had no need to do so. Even childhood friends that he has strong feelings for, he wouldn't...

oh and he does keep saying that he will never get over that I threw him out although in his more rational moments he will say it was justified. Please understand he had been lying and deceiving is all over a very awful thing for many years. It is understandable I threw him out (esp for an...