Please use the electric cart
@Skarekrow, let go of having to keep up keeping up. There is nothing to prove to yourself and if not yourself who else?
I know this is deeply personal so I hope you'll forgive me saying anything at all. I learnt a lot from a woman I cared for for a short while. She had MS and one of her treats was to go and get a cream cake some days. Along we went to get cream cakes each. She was in a wheel chair at this stage. She had an accident after having the cream cake and I had to hoist her to wash her. I was about 24. I remember how she was embarrassed, (we barely knew each other), and how she had lost control of her body and was in the hands of others/ fate to some extent...but she was able to laugh. In fact the only thing to do was to laugh, and it eased the situation and cemented the bond between us. I was really impressed with the fact that she could laugh.This experience taught me a lot about caring for others and the braveness of people in situations of surrender. Laughter can help a lot, laughter comes with acceptance of ourselves and the situation were in. It doesn't make sense to hurt your back in the supermarket - for whose sake is this? Please don't.
Yes Ma’am!
lol
I am maintaining fairly well mentally, emotionally, spiritually, it’s just the physical part that gives me trouble sometimes...but thank god I have no more big issues with depression or anxiety though they rear their ugly heads from time to time - have to beat them of with a stick.
Yeah...it’s me being stubborn...about feeling like things are getting worse as I age, which will probably be the new reality here on out...but maybe not, there are other treatments that I am always trying...sometimes they help and sometimes not...I do have the peace of mind that my step-son is not biologically mine and thusly will not ever have to worry about this having been passed onto him (though he may have other things...idk).
It’s a tough pill to swallow that’s all...to feel like your personal independence is slowly dissipating is something I am trying my best to deal with at the moment...I’ve been pretty successful at not beating myself up too bad most of the time.
It’s just something that I will learn to cope with, I don’t give in that easily...just as stubborn as I can be about not using the electric cart, I can be equally stubborn when it comes to something I put my mind to.
You are right about laughter...it is good medicine...that too can sometimes be a challenge, but it helps.
What really helps me is music...I can be in a really bad mood and put on my playlist and I begin to feel better, it’s been shown to release Dopamine just as meditation, exercise, sex, some drugs, certain foods, etc. also can help you feel better.
Like a chocolate bar...it actually causes your brain to release Dopamine helping you feel better...not to say that you should eat chocolate all day - though that would be nice wouldn’t it? lol
I’m hoping you are doing well yourself?
Thank you for your post and for caring, I appreciate it.
Much love,
M
Hm, we all have an image of who we think we are. And we all want to hold onto that. Whether it's a recent disability, chronic pain, or just getting older, it's hard to admit you need help with something that was once a normal part of your day. So shame is going to arise in response of that. And the shame is fighting the part of your brain that knows what you need. It occurs even with the most idiotic of things. I was in the store the other and despite knowing I had a load of stuff to buy, I went with a basket rather than a cart. All because of a stupid outdated concept running around in the back of my head going, "Psh, I'm a man. I don't need a cart to carry around a few groceries." And because of that, of course, I dropped stuff and looked like an idiot for trying to fit so much stuff into a tiny basket.
So while I don't pretend to understand how you feel, I can get the part about shame. I think the only way past it is to do what you're doing now. Talking about it, seeing it for what it is. Not a defect on your part, but a voice in your head that's afraid of being judged, of being rejected. I came across a post about shame in another
blog (I know you thought I was a one blog kind of man, but I have needs), which I liked. It doesn't have any hard answers, but I liked its closing point. It's just like what you're doing with these posts.
"Questioning the shame–pulling it out here into the light–is hard, but it feels like a good beginning."
*cough mumble* hugs and stuff *cough*
Thank you as well.
Hugs back at you my friend!
Yes, it’s hard to admit.
It’s hard to being someone who used to help others (medically or otherwise), now somewhat being at the mercy of others in certain instances.
I’ve done that with the handcarts too...haha...but just because I have poor impulse control at the grocery store sometimes lololol.
Don’t go when you’re hungry they say.
Probably good advice.
I feel bad for those around me...that makes me feel guilty...I wanna be there for people, my SO, my Son, family, others like on here, etc.
I don’t want people to feel bad for me....I don’t want the sympathy...I don’t want people to make a fuss on my sake I guess is what it boils down to.
It isn’t my choice how others react and feel though...but I never want someone to feel like I am holding them back, cause them to feel bad for me, feel obligated to say something to comfort me...I don’t like that obligation that some feel...I think you get what I mean.
I don’t want anyone’s pity....that’s all.
Cause I fight hard not to feel that way toward myself a good portion of the time dealing with this BS.
Does that make sense?
IDK
I DO appreciate everything that people say...there are so many very kind an generous words, many words of encouragement and compassion, many words to help my perspective on the topic..thank you thank you thank you all so very much!
Thank you kind Sir, my friend.
Just part of the up and downs of life...I will adjust.
I will continue on because that is what I do.
There is no other option besides.
I again also appreciate the ability to vent about it without people rolling their eyes thinking I complain too much.
I’m trying not to complain about it now at all, here or otherwise...making a concerted effort.
But I also realize I need to let that shit out of my system too.
Much love,
M
). 
