Nostalgia and memory

[slant]

I've been intrigued by memory and nostalgia for a long time. I referred to "the future of nostalgia" by Svetlana Boym. When I read that book, I was blown away. She gave the structure of defining two types of nostalgia:
"Svetlana Boym coined two types of nostalgia: “restorative" nostalgia and "reflective" nostalgia. Boym deems restorative nostalgia as the kind of longing for a past that you act upon, and hope to bring back into the future. It’s the kind nostalgia that’s present in pretty much every Drake lyric, when he mentions calling an ex-lover. Reflective nostalgia, on the other hand, focuses just on the emotions evoked from drifting down memory lane, with no need to recreate the actual experience. Just the fact that a memory or experience existed is enough to satisfy." (Source: https://advice.theshineapp.com/articles/4-ways-to-make-nostalgia-part-of-your-self-care-routine/ )

In the book "The Seven Sins of Memory: How the Mind Forgets and Remembers" by Daniel Schacter studies are referred to that implied the more often a memory is retrieved and recited, the less accurate it is. The more we tell a story or even think of it, the more our brain fills in missing details. Further, when we remember memories we tend to imprint those memories with the emotions of the present instead of the past which changes the memory and how we view it. That's basically the definition of nostalgia.

How does the way we remember our past, how often we think of the past, and what we choose to think about impact our day to day life?

I don't think there is a right or wrong way to respond to memories, but I do think our behavior associated with memories can impact us in the present in either positive or negative ways.

I have found that with my own memories, if I allow myself to feel a sense of longing more in terms of restorative nostalgia it makes me unhappy. I have to realize that you can never recreate the past, accept whatever emotions the memory gives me, and focus on what my present life offers. In this type of therapy I'm going through a lot of it has to do with recollecting traumatic memories and working through them, and it's made me conclude that remembering the past serves an important function in understanding who we are presently and perhaps in trying to sculpt our future self.

How often do you think about the past? Are there certain memories that you recall a lot? What types of things do you tend to remember and how do you respond to them or think that they impact you presently?

I've thrown out a lot of questions, I don't have a specific question as much as wanting to start a general discussion about memory and how we recall memories.

 

[Wyote]

There is something sad about having memories.
Each time we recall something, we are only recalling the memory of the last time we thought about it. A memory of a memory.
And slowly, everything fades into the distance.

Sometimes that's a good thing though

 

[Anomaly]

I've been intrigued by memory and nostalgia for a long time. I referred to "the future of nostalgia" by Svetlana Boym. When I read that book, I was blown away.
...
I've thrown out a lot of questions, I don't have a specific question as much as wanting to start a general discussion about memory and how we recall memories.

I need to think on this a bit, but this is intriguing. Thanks for a new thread, slant. I'll reply more comprehensively, once I have a chance to check out your link, and think everything through.

 

[Y1gtfmd74i5u]

I’ll have to think about it too. I went through emdr without reprocessing so this is really awe inspiring for me to think about everything that’s happened recently. I’ll think on it some more.

 

[slant]

That's the problem with these thoughtful threads- folks think and think and often don't speak!

 

[slant]

To add to this topic myself, since I've been thinking about this a lot and studying it a lot as an area of interest...

I find in a lot of my own poetry an emphasis on certain moments in my life. I have the type of memory that if I go to a place or hear a song there's usually about 5 or 6 "moments" I can recall to my brain about previous times I was in that place or listening to that song. My brain seems to imprint memories especially to music but they aren't usually significant, usually just the most recent times I've listened to them.

In the past I think that I allowed my memories to control my perception in really unhelpful ways. I never realized how much power we have over our lives when we recognize any belief or interpretation of events as just that, and not fact. That my emotions tied to any particular memory are only a reaction and don't really represent the reality of my life.

I notice with people as they age especially seniors in my life that memory can become either very treasured or something that is avoided entirely. It seems to be whether a person can recollect in a way that's grounded in the present moment or if in memories they revert to their past self. For the most part, especially memories that originate in childhood, I think it's helpful to be able to reprocess them and realize you might not have perceived the entire situation, you may have missed facts or over emphasized certain parts.

What has single handedly been most helpful to me is to learn how to remember the past, especially painful or hurtful memories, and not allow them to impact me presently. In the sense that I might still remember what certain things felt like back then but to be willing to move forward and not recreate the past.

So often we can take past experiences as future predictions that prevent us from doing things that we might want to do or might be helpful. The more thinking about a memory we do the more layers of emotions we add from the times we remembered them- it's weird.

I was once invited to write on a collaborative writing project where the characters had lost all of their memories. They didn't ever get the chance to remember them, this was the premise. I found it impossible to write my characters because I thought: if we don't have our memories, who are we? How much of what we are is influenced by our experiences, how can we distinguish what is inherently us if we lost all of our memory?

What's interesting, I think this was mentioned in the book "the power of habit" is that people with memory loss still can have muscle memory where when there is a cue like a bell ringing they might then perform a ritual say like making breakfast. They don't know why they're doing it on a conscious level at all but the memory is somehow there inside of them.

So if we can think of memory "training" our behavior even if we can't remember the memory, I think it stands to reason that our memories and tendency to nostalgia can either empower or imprison us. Not to mention on a cultural level how memory is treated, I haven't much thought about that. If anybody has specific cultural examples of how memory is treated that would be interesting to hear about.