INFP: Myths vs. Realities
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Korg
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I've heard that INFP's are one of the least tolerable / useful types when they're unhealthy. I would say my experience with them has proved this to be so.
Other types can (and often will) get something out of hitting bottom, like ENTJ's leading third world revolutions or starting wildly successful corporations who amaze us with their ability to get around environmental regulations. Or ENFP's becoming comedians who turn their depressive episodes into entertainment. Or INTP's coding new apps despite the fact they're socially retarded fatsos who don't shower and live in mom's basement.
But INFP's get zero return on their lack-of investment into healthy living. They just sit inside and fantasize about the lives they never led. And then when they do socialize, they're narcissistic twits that want everyone to be an emotional tampon who soaks up their problems and emotional slop that nobody else wants to deal with.
Other types can (and often will) get something out of hitting bottom, like ENTJ's leading third world revolutions or starting wildly successful corporations who amaze us with their ability to get around environmental regulations. Or ENFP's becoming comedians who turn their depressive episodes into entertainment. Or INTP's coding new apps despite the fact they're socially retarded fatsos who don't shower and live in mom's basement.
But INFP's get zero return on their lack-of investment into healthy living. They just sit inside and fantasize about the lives they never led. And then when they do socialize, they're narcissistic twits that want everyone to be an emotional tampon who soaks up their problems and emotional slop that nobody else wants to deal with.
54tjsioU
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The myth that we see the best in everyone. For strangers, sure, that might be kinda true. But if I've known someone for a while -like a week- and I have a general idea of their behavior I will usually have a realistic, if not pessimistic, view of their abilities/limitations, or rather have a general idea that they are not good people. This takes longer of course for people who put on masks however I still come to a conclusion and it is rarely good.
At the same time those people who I come to good conclusions about are usually really, really amazing. And maybe, probably, that's because I judge so harshly but I judge them harshly too and somehow they're still great people.
The myth that all we think about is fluffy unicorns and happy things. I think about yelling at people a lot. Telling them what I really think of them. If the general idea of fluffy unicorn thoughts is that they're an INFPs happy thoughts, then yeah ok, kinda. Cause yelling at people really is my happy thought lol >.> There is a lot I hold in and yelling at people can be incredible therapeutic *shrugs* Rarely do it these days, at least to the person. Have since learned how to talk, which meh, I'm sure it's less damaging lol...
The myth that INFPs are weak or wallflowers or whatever. Fuck that noise. I went to a club recently in part because this woman I had been talking to online for years told me she thought of me as a cowardice wallflower, to scared to approach women. First of all, fuck that bitch. She's just not even, whatever *glares*
Anyways, I had gone to a club with two gay guy friends who are pretty introverted. This was the first time going to a club for one of them and the other, well, I'm not sure what his pick up style is. But they were both scared to go out and mingle and I didn't blame them for feeling that way. So yeah, we did sit in a corner for a while and played pool for a while and the thought did cross my mind, "Dammit. I'm proving that bitch right." Though the longer the night went on and the more comfortable they got with just being there I started to take things into my own hands and approach people for them and they ended up having a really good time. And though that was about the most wallflower I've ever been, it was because I understood they were uncomfortable and knew I needed to ease them into it. At the end of the night the gay guy who is an introvert and makes sure he tells everyone that he is envied me quiet a bit and was just grateful for the experience. Kept going on and on about how much he learned. Apparently we're going out again some Thursday night
dunno when.
Just myths in general that we're always nice and unassuming and everything's good and happy. I mean maybe it has to do with me being an 8 enneagram but fuck that. Like I don't see INFPs as weak. I've met one in real life and the only thing I really noticed is that she's incredibly quiet lol. But I call bull shit, like that stereotype is just stupid. It irks me >:|
At the same time those people who I come to good conclusions about are usually really, really amazing. And maybe, probably, that's because I judge so harshly but I judge them harshly too and somehow they're still great people.
The myth that all we think about is fluffy unicorns and happy things. I think about yelling at people a lot. Telling them what I really think of them. If the general idea of fluffy unicorn thoughts is that they're an INFPs happy thoughts, then yeah ok, kinda. Cause yelling at people really is my happy thought lol >.> There is a lot I hold in and yelling at people can be incredible therapeutic *shrugs* Rarely do it these days, at least to the person. Have since learned how to talk, which meh, I'm sure it's less damaging lol...
The myth that INFPs are weak or wallflowers or whatever. Fuck that noise. I went to a club recently in part because this woman I had been talking to online for years told me she thought of me as a cowardice wallflower, to scared to approach women. First of all, fuck that bitch. She's just not even, whatever *glares*
Anyways, I had gone to a club with two gay guy friends who are pretty introverted. This was the first time going to a club for one of them and the other, well, I'm not sure what his pick up style is. But they were both scared to go out and mingle and I didn't blame them for feeling that way. So yeah, we did sit in a corner for a while and played pool for a while and the thought did cross my mind, "Dammit. I'm proving that bitch right." Though the longer the night went on and the more comfortable they got with just being there I started to take things into my own hands and approach people for them and they ended up having a really good time. And though that was about the most wallflower I've ever been, it was because I understood they were uncomfortable and knew I needed to ease them into it. At the end of the night the gay guy who is an introvert and makes sure he tells everyone that he is envied me quiet a bit and was just grateful for the experience. Kept going on and on about how much he learned. Apparently we're going out again some Thursday night
dunno when.Just myths in general that we're always nice and unassuming and everything's good and happy. I mean maybe it has to do with me being an 8 enneagram but fuck that. Like I don't see INFPs as weak. I've met one in real life and the only thing I really noticed is that she's incredibly quiet lol. But I call bull shit, like that stereotype is just stupid. It irks me >:|
54tjsioU
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I've met an INFJ who is this way. I believe that kind of mindset is more of an Enneagram 4 deal that a MBTI thing. And believe you me those bastards irk me too. I have yet to meet a healthy one in real life.
Skarekrow
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I believe that ANY introvert can be a self-centered douche when they are mentally and emotionally unhealthy.
Non truths (though all of these are actually superficially true to a degree in extreme and immature ones):
"Always about magic and unicorns"
"Don't have a hard edge or spine"
"Super narcissistic and selfish"
"Unable to be practical"
"Always in la la land"
"Really good at poetry etc"
"All about feeeeeelings--especially their own"
Truths:
-Ultra imaginative
-Imp-like bubbliness/giddiness and charm
-Kinda emo/damaged seemingly from some Freudian-esque repressed shit
-Are fierce about their values
-Are oriented to the human side of things
-Put effort into maintaining a certain image for the outside world to see (which usually makes them look a little cray cray or "artistic" rather than it being them shooting for a look of pure sexual attractiveness)
-Logical consistency and rationality of any sort goes out the window bye bye like it never existed in this universe when they are stressed
-Abilty to master and bring their own creative and personal enhancements to things they put effort into doing
"Always about magic and unicorns"
"Don't have a hard edge or spine"
"Super narcissistic and selfish"
"Unable to be practical"
"Always in la la land"
"Really good at poetry etc"
"All about feeeeeelings--especially their own"
Truths:
-Ultra imaginative
-Imp-like bubbliness/giddiness and charm
-Kinda emo/damaged seemingly from some Freudian-esque repressed shit
-Are fierce about their values
-Are oriented to the human side of things
-Put effort into maintaining a certain image for the outside world to see (which usually makes them look a little cray cray or "artistic" rather than it being them shooting for a look of pure sexual attractiveness)
-Logical consistency and rationality of any sort goes out the window bye bye like it never existed in this universe when they are stressed
-Abilty to master and bring their own creative and personal enhancements to things they put effort into doing
- MBTI
- INFeJ
- Enneagram
- None
This has been my experience with Every. Single. INFP I have ever interacted with and I will say that it has coloured my perception of that type. I am sure there are outliers who are totally awesome... Maybe.
There's also one more truth I wanna add to this list.
It is a fact within research on social dynamics that we tend to blame those that we hurt in order to make it seem like we had some kind of legitimate reason for hurting them when we reflect on our past actions.
I feel that the image that many INFPs give to others (unconsciously or not) is that they are people who were hurt in some way, and now they have to be steadfast in their values as a sort of vengeance, or as their version of resilience against the world.
This image we see of INFPs subconsciously makes people feel that the INFP thinks those who aren't as steadfast as them about the INFP's values are personally to blame for their hurt. We feel like we hurt them, and this makes us want to hate and blame the INFPs pre-emptively. This is probably why many people hate INFPs, even though many people state contempt-related issues with them like "they are narcissistic", "they are weak and useless", blah blah blah. We tend not to hate those who are vulnerable without anything else underlying (actually people tend to respond positively to a person who is vulnerable), and we tend not to hate people simply because they are more self-referential than average either. This typical pattern is also related to why people are prone to wanting to type intuitive people that are easily asshurt or reactive, as INFP, even if they are something else ( @TheDaringHatTrick )
Anyway, this seems to create an endless cycle of asspain experiences in the lives of INFPs, where they give people asspain and get an ever growing and teetering tower of asspain from others in return for ALLLLLL ETERNITY!!!!
It is a fact within research on social dynamics that we tend to blame those that we hurt in order to make it seem like we had some kind of legitimate reason for hurting them when we reflect on our past actions.
I feel that the image that many INFPs give to others (unconsciously or not) is that they are people who were hurt in some way, and now they have to be steadfast in their values as a sort of vengeance, or as their version of resilience against the world.
This image we see of INFPs subconsciously makes people feel that the INFP thinks those who aren't as steadfast as them about the INFP's values are personally to blame for their hurt. We feel like we hurt them, and this makes us want to hate and blame the INFPs pre-emptively. This is probably why many people hate INFPs, even though many people state contempt-related issues with them like "they are narcissistic", "they are weak and useless", blah blah blah. We tend not to hate those who are vulnerable without anything else underlying (actually people tend to respond positively to a person who is vulnerable), and we tend not to hate people simply because they are more self-referential than average either. This typical pattern is also related to why people are prone to wanting to type intuitive people that are easily asshurt or reactive, as INFP, even if they are something else ( @TheDaringHatTrick )
Anyway, this seems to create an endless cycle of asspain experiences in the lives of INFPs, where they give people asspain and get an ever growing and teetering tower of asspain from others in return for ALLLLLL ETERNITY!!!!
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Interestingly enough these are all true to ENFJs as well, except in a Soviet Russia applied way, a sort of conceptual inversion creating two very different but luxurious and distinct ice cream flavours, like durian and raspberry-passionfruit...
sassafras
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Instead of calling me out and making a generalization neither one of us can immediately prove or disprove, try this: if you have a problem with one of my opinions or ideas, you should address it in the relevant post at the time it happens so we can discuss it instead of stewing about it and making a passive-aggressive play for it months and months later.
54tjsioU
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I don't think I'll have asspain for all eternity =/
But I know what you mean *nods*
I've found it's actually easier to not tell people about my past initially, which is something I had always done in a way of trying to own it, to control it. So that's different, now, in building relationships... which is interesting ^.^
54tjsioU
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I agree, however the difference I have seen with people who type Enneagram 4, they don't seem to get better. I would say most others have at least some kind of drive to be better where as if you have a person who believes they're unique and everyone else sucks, what's their motivation to being better? In their own mind they already are.
No it's not a post
its like just random things other people tell me about you usually from tinychat or ur personal convos between u and them
also this theory and ur involvement only occurred to me JUST at the moment I wrote the post.. So there was no stewing
edit: anyway ur involvement is not like central to my theory; other people do it and u were only an afterthought.. Also not saying that you for certain do that--I just wanted to tag u so u could read my theory. It wasn't my intention to "expose" you.. Hence why I did not want to go into further detail using my thoughts on that as an example.
Good job! But yeah it's still obvious... To me anyway. And yes in my experience with them all INFPs seem to resort to the same thing you are describing eventually.
Skarekrow
~~DEVIL~~
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I can see that.
We all have different drivers for our motivations…but I wouldn’t discount the power of being self-critical in the Introvert…I believe that is the introverts greatest feat to gain control over (even if you are enneagram 4 lol).
sassafras
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You called me out because you felt that this is something I should know and because this is something that you must personally agree with, but what am I supposed to do with this information if there's no evidence other than an alleged bunch of anonymous opinions and you are unwilling to explain what you mean? Im not going to change the way I think if I don't know what Is contributing to the criticism or even if it is valid.
Generally, my opinions are expressed on an open forum and if someone disagrees, they are welcome to challenge them. They don't need to go behind my back and talk about it. Frankly, that sounds like someone rather angry with my opinion and possibly my person than someone with constructive criticism to offer.
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@TheDaringHatTrick
Okay
1) What I wanted to accomplish was what I said, which was to get you to read my theory and think about it, but you now want evidence before that. Sure, that's reasonable--
2) Here are the examples where you are involved that came to my mind:
1. You thinking my Te ass kissing on Tinychat recently was a result of me having inferior Te (which would make me an INFP), since I was being envious about Te's ability to get shit done and me being useless at it
2. Sentientsixpence and all the stuff she told me about the reasons you thought she was INFP which I thought were so-so but mostly Sentient is a very easily asshurt person so...
3. What Sentient told me about how she thought you often reflexively type others as INFP on here when they are in doubt and an asshurt-easily kind of person
4. A few vague shitty memories of mine of miscellaneous comments towards others in their blogs or in Type Me threads.
5. This rule in reversal: When SpecialEdition is actively getting stuff done in an anti-asshurt way, I think it was you in her Type Me thread that said you were thinking she was Fi-Te, with Fi inferior.
edit: I'm sorry I didn't explain it better before slapping your name on out there. Also next time I will directly tell you when I want to contest your opinion on something if it do it.
I'm sorry. It's pretty much cuz I can't do it right away because I can't piece a good argument together to back anything up.......and again I'll regress to look like an ass kisser whilst being crushed by ur airtight Te >__>
Okay
1) What I wanted to accomplish was what I said, which was to get you to read my theory and think about it, but you now want evidence before that. Sure, that's reasonable--
2) Here are the examples where you are involved that came to my mind:
1. You thinking my Te ass kissing on Tinychat recently was a result of me having inferior Te (which would make me an INFP), since I was being envious about Te's ability to get shit done and me being useless at it
2. Sentientsixpence and all the stuff she told me about the reasons you thought she was INFP which I thought were so-so but mostly Sentient is a very easily asshurt person so...
3. What Sentient told me about how she thought you often reflexively type others as INFP on here when they are in doubt and an asshurt-easily kind of person
4. A few vague shitty memories of mine of miscellaneous comments towards others in their blogs or in Type Me threads.
5. This rule in reversal: When SpecialEdition is actively getting stuff done in an anti-asshurt way, I think it was you in her Type Me thread that said you were thinking she was Fi-Te, with Fi inferior.
edit: I'm sorry I didn't explain it better before slapping your name on out there. Also next time I will directly tell you when I want to contest your opinion on something if it do it.
I'm sorry. It's pretty much cuz I can't do it right away because I can't piece a good argument together to back anything up.......and again I'll regress to look like an ass kisser whilst being crushed by ur airtight Te >__>
ITS TOTALLY ABOUT MBTI STFU