[INFJ] INFJ/INFP conflict

rmoat

rmoat

Newbie
MBTI
INFJ
Over the past several months I've been very confused and conflicted as to whether I'm really INFJ and/or INFP. I know there are several topics on this, some very lengthy which lead me to be more confused.

I started a new job a few months back and the business is interested in our personal growth, so not only do they have us take a Gallup Strength Finder but the MBTI test through CPP.

Online tests such as 16 Personalities definitely say I am an INFJ. I ended up paying for the MBTIOnline.com test a year or two ago, and in the end it said something like: You tested as an INFP, but INFJ was expected. So it had me answer some extra questions and ended up picking INFJ.

When I took the CPP a few months back I tested as an INFP. However, they said that when you take the assessment at home compared to work, it's highly possible you could end up with different results. When we met in a team meeting, I identified with more on the INFJ:

Vacations (planned and thought out), Cannot procrastinate (Must jump in as soon as possible), just a few things that are very opposite of INFP. But also there are things that I can identify with INFP. It seems like I move back and forth in between the two.

I'd love to know if there is something that I can specifically answer that would let me know?

EDIT: I still feel I closely relate with INFJ more than I do INFP. I think there are aspects of both that fit me, and maybe it depends on my mood at the time. I'm not sure.
 
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I wonder that too, could be how the questions are asked. "Is your home and work environment organized? " Home: No. I got burned out trying to categorize all my stuff into containers. Work: Big yes. I can't stand a cluttered store. But questions like that will have me answer no because one is organized but the other isn't. The question asked for both. It didn't ask for a divide.

"Do you keep lists?" In my head yes, on paper no. So again No is the answer I put, because it asked do you keep a list. I'm visualizing the asker wanting an actual notebook planner.

"Do you get frozen up and afraid to act on something?" Act? You mean put on an act, or act out a task? Define "act" and then I can give a more correct answer. If you can give more specifics, than I can break down further. Ask why I am afraid to act and that may be more helpful.

Enough questions like that make it hard to give a truthful answer.
 
1. Which bothers you more?
A. To hurt someone else's feelings and be seen by yourself and others as selfish.
B. To do something that you subjectively believe is ethically wrong, but that would harm no one.

2. Do you find yourself:
A. Becoming absorbed in one thing for an extensive period of time.
B. Having so many ideas that it's hard for you to stay on track with just one.
 
Miswired7 said:
1. Which bothers you more?
A. To hurt someone else's feelings and be seen by yourself and others as selfish.
B. To do something that you subjectively believe is ethically wrong, but that would harm no one.

2. Do you find yourself:
A. Becoming absorbed in one thing for an extensive period of time.
B. Having so many ideas that it's hard for you to stay on track with just one.
Click to expand...
As an INFP, I have a difficult time separating B on the first question. The things that I think are ethically wrong are things that cause harm. That said, I don't hesitate to speak for my convictions in a group if it ever comes up, even if it's not the popular thing to do. I don't just go along with things for the sake of keeping harmony if I think there is something dishonest or unfair going on because I don't think that what I perceive as dishonest or unfair is conductive to harmony anyway. I'd rather confront an issue and resolve it because I think that brings harmony.

I'm guessing you are trying to contrast Fi vs Fe, but Fi isn't about hurting people's feelings and being selfish. Personally, I don't see myself as selfish. I wouldn't be OK with others seeing me that way.

And for the second one, I can easily become engrossed in and focused on one activity-- whether it's a task at work or something crafty I'm doing. I have a lot of ideas, and I can tie them all into one project, or see the project and it's application through various angles.

But I do think comparing Fe vs. Fi is especially helpful in determining between the two.
 
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I agree it can sometimes be hard to sort out unless you see it in action.
I identify as INFJ, but I have family members who are INFP. The differences stand out when we discuss values and certain other topics.
INFPs in general tend to be moral absolutists, while INFJs tend to be moral relativists. If an INFP believes it is wrong to tell a lie, and holds truth as a moral value, then they will tell the truth even if it hurts someone. However, an INFJ who believes lying is morally wrong is more likely to see that there are good and bad elements within every choice, and will try to choose the "least detrimental alternative", which might mean telling a "little white lie" or withholding information from someone if it would hurt them, or if it would cause them to hurt someone else.
 
@rmoat would you say you’re very future focused?
 
Miswired7 said:
Very much so. I think about the past in terms of how it relates to the future, and I think about future plans. I have a very difficult time focusing on the present!
Click to expand...
You’re likely an INFJ then. @infinite dreams is much better at explaining the differences than I am. I just shoot from my Ni hip. :p
 
Miswired7 said:
I agree it can sometimes be hard to sort out unless you see it in action.
I identify as INFJ, but I have family members who are INFP. The differences stand out when we discuss values and certain other topics.
INFPs in general tend to be moral absolutists, while INFJs tend to be moral relativists. If an INFP believes it is wrong to tell a lie, and holds truth as a moral value, then they will tell the truth even if it hurts someone. However, an INFJ who believes lying is morally wrong is more likely to see that there are good and bad elements within every choice, and will try to choose the "least detrimental alternative", which might mean telling a "little white lie" or withholding information from someone if it would hurt them, or if it would cause them to hurt someone else.
Click to expand...
Nah I don't agree with the moral absolutism thing. But I do hate lying. I hate deceiving people and I also see lying as making things much more complicated than they need to be anyway; cuz then you have to remember all those lies! I think that we should be honest with each other because lying can also deny others choices or understanding. But there are some things that are better left unsaid. Rather than lying or telling a white lie, I'd prefer to speak the truth in a diplomatic way or focus on something positive. There are some things that just don't matter being honest about. I have a client whose dad is a big Trump supporter for example and he's tried to get me to talk politics. Totally inappropriate on the job but I haven't come out and shared my opinions. He thinks I agree with him. And that's fine for me because my opinion isn't important in this situation. I guess if he knew I was a liberal he could ask for another caseworker for his son if it was a big deal but I will continue to work just as hard for them as someone he agrees with politically. I guess that's a white lie? I wouldn't tell someone they look fat if they asked me either.
 
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Happy Phantom said:
You’re likely an INFJ then. @infinite dreams is much better at explaining the differences than I am. I just shoot from my Ni hip. :p
Click to expand...

It really doesn't matter how we label ourselves lol. Identifying as INFJ gives me a framework with which to put into words the patterns of how I think and what I feel. It also gives me tools to understand negative patterns that I have gotten myself into. I can easily see that there have been times when I have been "in the grip" of my inferior function. And times when I have been in an "Ni-Ti loop". I feel that understanding how it works provides a blueprint for growth. But INFJ is really just 4 letters that only mean what you make of them. If I were to find a pattern description / framework / paradigm that fits better and makes as much sense to who I am, have been, and plan to be, then I am definitely open to considering that perhaps my current understanding is flawed or incomplete. I am definitely not attached to the idea of being the "world's rarest type" or of being some kind of HSP snowflake that deserves special treatment (shudder) even though I DO have sensory issues, and I do need a lot of time alone. Preferably where it is dark and quiet.
 
I tend to go by Jungian cognitive functions more than anything:

INFP - Fi Ne Si Te
INFJ - Ni Fe Ti Se

Fi vs. Fe is huge, from what I have observed. Types with strong Fi (e.g. INFPs) are concerned with personal values and sensibilities. Types with strong Fe (e.g. INFJs) are all about harmony.

The other functions are relevant too. The reason I turn to the cognitive functions is because if you just think "This MBTI preference is off by one letter, so I'm either Judging or Perceiving", you'll completely miss the fact that the priority with which you process the world is entirely different. MBTI is pretty abstract, but each type maps to Jungian cognitive functions, which are more concrete and easier to differentiate.
 
Btw, Fi vs. Fe were just examples, and people above obviously have their own interpretations, but it would be worthwhile to go through each function stack... I'd imagine one is going to stick out more for you as relatable.
 
acd said:
Nah I don't agree with the moral absolutism thing. But I do hate lying. I hate deceiving people and I also see lying as making things much more complicated than they need to be anyway; cuz then you have to remember all those lies! I think that we should be honest with each other because lying can also deny others choices or understanding. But there are some things that are better left unsaid. Rather than lying or telling a white lie, I'd prefer to speak the truth in a diplomatic way or focus on something positive. There are some things that just don't matter being honest about. I have a client whose dad is a big Trump supporter for example and he's tried to get me to talk politics. Totally inappropriate on the job but I haven't come out and shared my opinions. He thinks I agree with him. And that's fine for me because my opinion isn't important in this situation. I guess if he knew I was a liberal he could ask for another caseworker for his son if it was a big deal but I will continue to work just as hard for them as someone he agrees with politically. I guess that's a white lie? I wouldn't tell someone they look fat if they asked me either.
Click to expand...

The fact that you can define your own emotional values and responses this concisely proves you're a strong Fi user.

I find INFPs very easy to spot - they're the people who talk about their own feelings in precise, distinct terms. Put another way, they build persuasive arguments in favor of their own convictions. Others simply are not capable of doing this in a convincing manner. For obvious reasons, it's similar to what INTPs do with "logical" problem solving.

I'll also add that I find this vastly more impressive than someone who displays great technical knowledge about a subject. Well-honed Fi is capable of pinpointing the reasoning behind emotions I may have felt my entire life but could never adequately understand.
 
INFPs when being asked about what is their favorite xxx, they'd be able to answer on the spot, plus something they hate.
INFJs when being asked the same question, would take minutes to hours to answer that, sometimes they can't answer what they like until they go back home and think it through.

INFPs are pretty good (and at times compelling) communicators. From my observation, they tend to have bubbly and wordy written and spoken ways with unique vocabulary and playful tone, a lot of cutesy expressions, but can swing back into a serious and deep tone pretty fast.
INFJs are usually not as articulated as INFPs, but some of them can be compelling and profound while keeping the tone precise and to-the-point, laden with carefully selected metaphors, but sometimes INFJs' tone can be a bit too blunt and crisp.

INFPs are moderately-very nostalgic. They tend to keep their childhood items and memorabilia, and have excellent long term memories.
INFJs are not very nostalgic and have moderate-bad memories, especially long term.

INFPs have the secret yearning to be virtually acknowledged and in charge.
INFJs have the secret fascination of go-getting and physical prowess.
 
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