I wish I could change that in myself....

J

JustMeINFJ

One
MBTI
INFJ
Is there anything in your personality that frustrates you? Something you wish you didn't have? Or that you were different? Any personality trait that is causing you troubles in life? Or something that you wish to change in yourself?
I realized that one of these things is this "chameleon" effect. That moment when you chatting with someone and listening with great empathy and you feel like you kind of "blending" into that person to the point you almost cease to exist...I catch myself in those moments somethimes and i feel like i am losing myself in that person. And sometimes that person can be a total stranger who I just happen to have a deep conversation...
And yes also the "people pleasing" i dislike that in myself so much...but it comes as almost automatic reaction....It makes me feel as if I don't have a spine....
Like I want to be empathic cause I recognize it as a true gift but at the same time I would like to be bold...
Bold and emphatic...is it possible?
Your thoughts?
 
I wish I didn't care or feel so much when I witness family/friends/people in general being so cruel to each other.....but then again......:m176:
 
Generally speaking...

I wish that I was better at directing and re-directing my train thought and mental focus (whenever I catch myself straying). The ability to turn off the mind at times or pull focus towards a certain area is a valuable thing to me.

I'll be forever working on.
 
Not caring anymore.
 
Wish I could turn off my emotions. I'm too easily overwhelmed. Maybe, become more unaffected.
 
A couple of them actually:
  1. Constant procrastination - I never seem to get meaningful things done. I have to be at work, cut off from any distractions as much as possible to get results. Which I'm rather good at once I commit. But once the staff entrance door is closed - never. So many ideas, so many plans - everything seems to fall apart at some point and the final result is myself sleeping or going through INFJ motivational posters - 'Ha-ha, this one's hilarious and it has a cat picture in it'.
  2. Not being able to build relationships with people that I deem unworthy of building any relationship with - I don't consider that being a bad trait actually - keeps dodgy, fake and dangerous at safe distance from me. Anyway, if a person is a confirmed scumbag that is prone to lying and backstabbing other people, what is the point of building a relationship with him? He did something bad and unjustified to another human being - he will do it to you once it suits him.
    But it is a hell of a bad trait at work. Especially if that confirmed scumbag is your superior that has a direct influence on your career. Especially in an industry which is not known for paying well or attracting top talent (in my case, hospitality), so it gets a handsome share of interesting personalities. I just have that inherent need to keep dangerous people as far away from me as possible. And once one has a label 'Keep away at all costs' on his head - guess what, I will not interact more than it is absolutely necessary. And any interaction apart from that (I tried) feels forced and painful.
    And, guess what again, without diving into details, that doesn't exactly work. So you have to keep it nice even with people you don't actually like. But then again, I just can't.
 
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