How do you deal with the cold shoulder ? | INFJ Forum

How do you deal with the cold shoulder ?

V

vbr

Three
Oct 25, 2014
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MBTI
infj
So I was wondering how do you all deal with the cold shoulder ?

You all were super helpful ,but I really dont do sharing personal details anywhere, im much better in my head. Also I dont believe theres a whole lot to be done, psychologically being ostracized is hurtful paired with it being from someone whos opinion you value its even harder. But I dont believe theres any point in me dwelling on it, I just have to move on, easier said than done but I should be fine.
 
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Can you give a little more information on what you said to this third person? If you had said something that made me see who you really were and it was something I could not live with and you could not apologize for, like racism, I might change my opinion of you.
 
What did you do?
 
You should reevaluate your statement that you do not show negative emotions and that you do that well. Try to just be yourself instead of hiding your personality.
 
Sounds like she was embarrassed by your reaction. Maybe let out your feelings more so they don't build up so much? If you don't want to talk or whatever, just say so. I have found people are mostly understanding to open honesty.

Now, in an ideal world you would be accorded the same grace you show to others when they are in a weak state but I can't tell if you are downplaying or exaggerating?! What is obvious is you need to find balance again and stop letting this spill out into everything. Imagine in your mind a huge stop sign. What you think does matter you know? If it wasn't so bad maybe you should be more upset with this friend? .... but I'm harsh. I expect people close to me know how I'm feeling and to support me. If they don't, I don't bother with them..
 
Honestly I dont know ,I have gone over it way too many times and I still cant find something really bad . I mean yeah I guess I was negative and I may have been rude to the clerks ,but that is it . Of course I could be selectively remembering what happened but I really dont know . Also I dont even know what id have to do to piss someone off this much . Its the weirdest reaction I have ever gotten.
And youre right ,ive dealt with a lot of stuff and I consider myself fairly resilient so the fact that im this bothered by it is surprising to me too . I think I just need some downtime and to just not give a damn for awhile ,get back on top if my reading and set my priorities strait again .

And thanks ,I dont know why I was this bothered in the first place ,theres far bigger things for me to be worried about right now .
 
I know you have decided to move on and so editted the opening post - but I just wanted to say that this issue being important to you is ok because you are important.

Hope you feel able to be authentic, even when you see this person again. That's all that matters. She can do what she likes and if she can't talk to you as an adult when things aren't so great, you've dodged a bullet there. Probably it is for the best that this happened during a minor incident.

Personally, I would be drawn to go and apologise to the person I was rude to if this scenario was mine. I would not rest until I had done so... but that is me. I live and love by the highest of standards and so I am not afraid of being vulnerable.

You must also check yourself and be honest as to if you are a bit of a dick. I'm not being rude here. If you can work this out now you will be saving yourself a lot of trouble. Don't hide feelings, explain and take responsibility for them as there are many people ahead of you who are going to seriously piss you off and they are just people, same as you... except for managers, they tend to be psycho.

Study well and be successful. You might as well x
 
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