Seremela13669

-Married my high school sweetheart
-Love reading, writing, drawing, painting, singing, etc.
-Working on finding peace within myself.
-Even though I'm surrounded by people who love me and care about me, the overwhelming feeling of not being understood, that no one really knows me, has caused a sense of complete isolation from others.

General Interests:
-Reading (mostly Sci-Fi/Fantasy)
-Writing
-Art (Drawing, Painting, etc.)
-Music (I have a habit of creating elaborate stories that I visualize when listening to music. It's incredibly distracting when I am listening to some tunes when working, completing chores, etc.)
-Tarot (Currently I am trying to enhance my intuition. Deja Vu is a normally feeling as I generally sense what it about to happen next.)

I tend to try out a lot of hobbies that my close family members are interested in. Even as I child I would just go with the flow and adopt others' interests as my own to feel a sense of belonging.
Birthday
Feb 28, 1989 (Age: 36)
Biography
Childhood:
I grew up in a very abusive home. My father began emotionally and verbally abusing me when I was four years old, after my little sister was born. Unrealistic expectations were enforced upon me at a very young age, which I believe triggered my severe anxiety/panic disorder. The home I grew up in was toxic; everyone would say the most hurtful things that they could to anyone on a daily basis. It was like living in an emotional terrorist zone. I'm very sensitive and protective, which caused many issues. I would take on more abuse from my father to direct him away from my little sister and mother, who were too weak to handle his constant attacks.

I began having regular anxiety and panic attacks when I was about five to the point of hyperventilation, self harm (biting myself) and thoughts of dying. I was completely controlled by fear. Starting at a very young age I could vividly imagine someone breaking into our house and killing us, so I would position myself in bed so that if someone came into my room, they would shoot the pillow and not my head. I couldn't enjoy amusement parks because I had a feeling of impending doom when I stood in line for a ride.

Eventually, my mother told the doctor about my emotional and possible psychological issues. I was put into therapy at age seven, but I didn't know even how to explain what was going on. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety/panic disorder and was taught how to "deal" with my father, which didn't help at all.

I've never been able to make friends very easily, always feeling like an outsider that doesn't belong. It wasn't for a lack of common interests, but more that they could never understand me when I understood things about them that they haven't even begun to process. As I became older, I was able to act more like my peers, but never felt like I belonged.

Teenage Years:
My adolescent/teenage years was a more dramatic and amplified version of my childhood. The abuse grew in strength quicker than we could adapt. I became sexually active very young, making poor choices, as people normally do. This is a very dark period of my life where I had the most difficulties overcoming my disorder. I had attempted suicide a few times, but self harm had always been the biggest struggle.
I've always done exceptionally well in school, so high school wasn't an issue. Although I had received offers to numerous schools with scholarships, I decided that getting out of the family home was more important, so I dropped out of community college after a year to join the workforce full time.

Adult to Present:
My life finally began to become more stable once I left the family home. At this point, my parents got a divorce, and became entirely different people. It feels like they both died and manifested as ghosts as the worst versions of themselves.

I don't speak to my father anymore, and my mother is fighting many of the challenges I faced in my teen years. I try to do everything I can to help my mother and sister, even if it ends up hurting me in the end.

I just married my high school sweetheart a little over a year ago. We are extremely happy, and we love each other on a level that many don't seem to reach. He may not completely understand me as a person, but we are very similar creatures.

That about raps it up.
In descending order, which 6 things could you never do without?
1. Husband and sister (tied)
2. My imagination
3. Books
4. Art supplies
5. Clean clothes
6. A shower
What would be your epitaph?
Until the end.
MBTI
INFJ
Enneagram
type 6
Occupation
Current Career - I work in advertising for the hig
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