Recent content by Nets | INFJ Forum

Recent content by Nets

  1. Nets

    Good to me but not good for me, how do I heal/move forward?

    I agree. Thank you for this. I looked at him in terms of the public vs private persona (how he is with me). I saw him as a complex being who still wants to please his social network, be validated as the life of the party, and strongly is strongly committed to celebrating uninhibitedly for the...
  2. Nets

    Good to me but not good for me, how do I heal/move forward?

    Feeling the holiday blues so this helps! Thanks!
  3. Nets

    Good to me but not good for me, how do I heal/move forward?

    Although I do have to recognize this is growth for me. I’m not excusing the pattern of me picking men who aren’t great but I can see why I picked him for the time being (he basically took care of me because I didn’t get that care in childhood and I was tired of meeting arrogant venture...
  4. Nets

    Good to me but not good for me, how do I heal/move forward?

    Y Yes, I’m slowly trying to understand and work on this. I can’t keep seeing myself as a victim of abuse from my childhood. I also can’t lose myself in relationship even if I get lonely. I’m healing this slowly but surely...
  5. Nets

    Good to me but not good for me, how do I heal/move forward?

    could you explain what this means: “Attracting this kind of person isn't said to be a stigma of one's own psychological health (in terms of having recovered from childhood trauma).” I’m trying to understand my hesitation to break up with him early enough when I saw the red flags, is it because...
  6. Nets

    Good to me but not good for me, how do I heal/move forward?

    True true. And if they did, I would have just left. I would not let it get that far.
  7. Nets

    Good to me but not good for me, how do I heal/move forward?

    Not really. They seem to feel defeated if I didn’t show them that I’m interested...or maybe that was just me making assumptions.
  8. Nets

    Good to me but not good for me, how do I heal/move forward?

    Oh he wasn’t boring to me at all, he was super extroverted and loved doing activities with me (cooking, rock climbing, hiking); I really enjoyed spending time with him. I miscommunicated. I feel like, now as I reflect back, I didn’t give men who seemed boring a chance....
  9. Nets

    Good to me but not good for me, how do I heal/move forward?

    Yes I will admit that I’ve attracted people who aren’t good to me in the past. It’s a pattern I see now. I’ve usually tapped out of first/2nd dates where the person felt really boring to me. I see this now and I can’t keep saying I will find the next one quickly since there’s more men in the SF...
  10. Nets

    Good to me but not good for me, how do I heal/move forward?

    The communication, consistency, acts of service, no judgment. But I’ll find that with the right partner. The core values of safety/stability/responsibly were missing so eventually the “other ways” would have not mattered. People can be emotionally available and I have to not subscribe in this...
  11. Nets

    Good to me but not good for me, how do I heal/move forward?

    This isn’t who I am at all...
  12. Nets

    Good to me but not good for me, how do I heal/move forward?

    I felt that something was off with the drugs and drinking but yes, thanks for brining this up. I’m learning and it’s true, he would have compromised my health and safety (which I saw) but took a while to get because he treated me kindly in other ways...
  13. Nets

    Good to me but not good for me, how do I heal/move forward?

    Thank you! That one, I’m working on loving and taking care of myself. It’s been quite a journey, thank you for the reminder...
  14. Nets

    Good to me but not good for me, how do I heal/move forward?

    Both! I know that’s a scarcity mindset and I need to trust myself more....