Recent content by Forest Dweller

Sonyab: No, it's not bad to think "never", I once thought "never again". Then my stepfather gave me a well-deserved rhetorical beating with the words, "well, I think you'll make better choices next time". Again, thanks for all your advice. And, she feels the same way :m200:

Thanks for your responses so far. A few specific notes: Siamese Cat: Hopefully there's enough intimacy that she'll say something, and I'm not counting on her saying it back, she's as likely as not to say something cautious, which is what she has been saying in moments where I suspect she's...

Just give me your short response, I'm thinking of saying it for about the fourth time in my life, I'd like to beat her to the punch, but not jump the gun. We're both middle-aged, divorced, and with kids, and have had a quickly developing relationship. And for you MBTI fans, she's ESFJ with E...

I have a lot to learn about being a loving person.

Warm, humid air. I'm not kidding.

I love it, and it's an odd boundary for me. I have female non-dating, non-fwb friends I'll snuggle up with in front of a movie or the TV, but only if we're both not in relationships and if I know the boundaries between us are understood.

Ditto the gay thing. This is how it goes... "I was surprised when I saw you with [insert the name of my former wife or one of my former girlfriends here], I was really happy for you, I wondered if you were gay, not that there's anything wrong with that, there was just always something about...

Love it. I know my inner psyche isn't all hugs and fuzzy teddy bears. There's my paranoid self, who thinks every time a partner opens her mouth the words "I don't love you anymore" must surely be coming.

It is a sign of sanity, not illness, that you bitterly grieve a loss. It is an indicator that you see life and love as precious. Loneliness is one of my biggest demons as well, but everyone you see on the street has a few just as bad. From Khalil Gibran ("On Joy and Sorrow" from The...

Would you cut another person down to equalize them? I didn't think so. Talk of self-love is often a bunch of psychobabble, but I think this the point where it does become an actual duty on your part. I think you should use your advantages as a wellspring for compassion and productivity both...

About a year ago, in the midst of divorce, a good friend (also an INFJ) told me this in an email after we had a long talk about failed relationships, including one of mine in my 20s: "In my experience, time does seem to heal all things (emotionally, that is), if you let it. Holding onto and...

No, you're not wrong. It has nothing to do with politics, sociology, or change. My personal experience with people who have either wanted this in a relationship with me or others has been negative. It's usually that they're ambivalent or just not that into the people they're with and are...

Sounds like you're doing it right.

I'd give strong consideration to U of Florida. Gainesville is a very open-minded community, and there's some pretty strong science programs here. I don't know where in Fla you live, but this (I live here) is definitely an open-minded place that's not about golf, money, and fundamenalism...

1. You will need to understand that I am scared out of my pants to show vulnerability and intimacy, but I crave the thing to my very core. My prior relationships have all demonstrated to me that intimacy has bad consequences, so please feel free to grab me by the hand and ask me what I'm really...