Recent content by Boots

Hi all! I just wanted to wish everyone a very happy 2021! I thought I'd come back to this thread to give everyone a quick update on my current situation with said INTJ. In my last interaction with INTJ last September, I had unintentionally hurt his feelings with a crude joke. It really took...

I think you're right. He admitted to me that in the almost decade he's known me, he always found reasons to avoid me. He doesn't know why he does it and he said that of all people, he hates that he does it to me. He thanked me and told me he appreciated that I haven't given up on him. So in a...

Hi Deleted member 16771! He is VERY MUCH avoidant. He has a tendency to push the people he loves away. I brought it up to him and he acknowledges that he does that. I have a theory that because he's experienced some really significant events in his life in which his closest friend and lover...

Hi Dopamine, I think you have a very valid point. Funnily enough, before I saw your message I had a pretty deep conversation with the INTJ and I told him that I don't want to be a threat to him, I'm not the enemy, – that's how I feel like he's been treating me – I'm trying to be a friend and...

I love that! I have always tested between INTJ/INFJ so I appreciate and understand independence very well! But, I'm very astute with the human condition so it helps me understand and be a little more flexible when someone needs more "togetherness." I used to be especially bad at this when I was...

You did! Thank you, Quirky. Everything is such a delicate and fine line with an INTJ. I plan to request a sort of "terms and conditions" thing with him. For example, setting an acceptable amount of time for space, especially during times of disagreement, so that WE'RE both comfortable and not...

Update: We are still experiencing a lot of pushing and pulling. Everytime I think we've overcome something, something else comes up that makes him upset and he goes silent again. I'm realizing that my INTJ may appear confident, hard, and cold on the outside, but man is he the most sensitive...

I want to make a bet that the reason your INFJ treated you like high stakes was that you made her feel "unsafe." She observed and analyzed you, both your conscious and subconscious behaviors, and she didn't like what she assessed so it made her on edge. An INFJ who is in a mutually loving and...

This is sad all around. I can understand from both perspectives–yours and his. I'm not going to say what everyone else has already said, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and want to believe you acted in that way out of hurt and frustration with your situation. It was wrong, but we're...

Hey Deleted member 16771, Thanks for taking the time out to share that really thorough response! I really appreciate it. I can understand why you'd think that without much context and I'd rather not get into the weed of things, so I'll private message you to share a bit more details.

Hi Reason, I was single for some time when I met him. At that point, he was just getting into a relationship. Then a few years later, I got into a very long term relationship (my current ex). Some time after I got into my relationship, he was just getting out of the one I mentioned above. Both...

Don't mind him. I'm not bothered by his crude comment. :)

Haha I am an obsessive-compulsive over-analyzer. I thought I was bad until I met him. I'm not comfortable, yet, reaching out to him. I'd like to sort through some things on my end, give my head and heart some clarity before anything else happens. I'm mostly curious about where his head/heart is...

All relationships are challenging, no matter how well you get along. I wish you two all the best and love in the world. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. :)

Definitely. I wouldn't call this waiting as much as I'm healing, working on myself, and aligning my stars. I have faith that everything happens for a reason, whether good or bad, my chin will be held high and I'll end up happy no matter what. :) Are you married to an INTJ, btw?