Your personal myths - call the mythbusters:)

Jana

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Do you have them?
Ofcourse you do...I think of those false belifs that make us to be bad to ourselves, to not act as we should, to be depressed.
Here are some of mine...Let's compare our own personal myths.

1. I must not make mistake.
2. People will love me only if I agree with them and if I work hard to deserve their love.
3. Things will probably go wrong if I am not cautious.
4. If I am single, I am less worth.
5. Don't let them catch me with guard off.
6. Saying to someone that I love them or care for them (even if I feel so deeply) is waaay tooo cheeeesy.
7. Being outsider is bad.
 
I have a myth that men will only date thin girls...sad but true.
 
I have a myth that men will only date thin girls...sad but true.

I share this same myth.

Jana said:
1. I must not make mistake.

5. Don't let them catch me with guard off.

Yes and yes.

My myths:

1. If I don't have a career, I am nothing.
2. I must not fail
3. I must be in control (of my feelings, my thoughts, my relationships, etc.)
 
I have a myth that men will only date thin girls...sad but true.

One time i was at a party and the conversation really surprised me. It was about Brittney Spears. It was after she'd come back and she'd gained some weight. All of the guys, kept talking about how hot she looked with the extra weight. All different guys with completely different personality and tastes but they all thought Britney looked hot with some extra meat on her bones. This shocked the crap out of me because I always thought guys just wanted the super thinnies that are paraded in front of them all the time in the media. But those kind of guys are more rare than you think. Most normal guys want a girl with curves. My husband has tried to tell me for years most guys don't like stick figures. I'm finally starting to believe him.

I hope I have busted this myth a little.
 
The biggest, over arching myth that I have is the following:

I cannot cope with whatever is going to happen.

This over arching myth that I hold on to has created a deep seeded need for control in all aspects of my life. If I cannot control all the variables and outcomes in various circumstances then my anxiety starts to rise and it can bring on panic attacks. This is where the fear of not being able to cope comes in- if I have a panic attack, how will I cope with it? How will I get through it? I forget that they only last about an hour tops and forget that after it's over I'll be fine. Lately I have been doing well with this. Once I realized I had a fear of not being able to cope suddenly my perspectives changed and I realized I could.

I want to touch on what you're all saying about the idea that men only date skinny girls and I want to say that I know from personal experience that isn't true (I've never been what you would call "skinny" and have had people attracted to me regardless). I think men also have a personal myth that women are only attracted to the jacked up muscular types. Most men I know prefer women who are healthy and who have a little extra curve to them and most women I know are attracted to men who aren't all muscle and who have a little extra weight on them.
 
The biggest, over arching myth that I have is the following:

I cannot cope with whatever is going to happen.

This over arching myth that I hold on to has created a deep seeded need for control in all aspects of my life. If I cannot control all the variables and outcomes in various circumstances then my anxiety starts to rise and it can bring on panic attacks. This is where the fear of not being able to cope comes in- if I have a panic attack, how will I cope with it? How will I get through it? I forget that they only last about an hour tops and forget that after it's over I'll be fine. Lately I have been doing well with this. Once I realized I had a fear of not being able to cope suddenly my perspectives changed and I realized I could.

This is the biggest fear I face everyday. I worry everyday about how I am going to handle this. Sometimes, it feels as if it's the end of the world if something goes wrong or I can't handle a new task or responsibility which comes my way. This brings on panic and anxiety. This is an ongoing struggle.
 
This is the biggest fear I face everyday. I worry everyday about how I am going to handle this. Sometimes, it feels as if it's the end of the world if something goes wrong or I can't handle a new task or responsibility which comes my way. This brings on panic and anxiety. This is an ongoing struggle.

Yep, this is an issue that I've had for many years and I've come to realize that these false beliefs I have about my own abilities to cope are what have been perpetuating my anxiety for the last 14 years of my life. You can imagine the relief I felt when I realized that my personal beliefs were unrealistic and untrue. Needless to say my levels of panic have been diminished ten fold. But it still creeps up. It's deeply embedded in me.
 
1. I will never meet someone who can relate to me, or understand me.
2. The more isolated I am from close relationships, the more peaceful my life is.
 
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