Your Parents (and Their Types) | INFJ Forum

Your Parents (and Their Types)

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Deleted member 16771

Hi all, so last week I watched a video from INTJ & INFP Coffee and the INTJ there (Alex) mentioned that her mum is an ESFJ, just like mine, which got me wondering if there's any pattern between the types of our parents and our types.

In my case, I'm an INTJ and my mum is an ESFJ. While I was raised just by my mum after the age of about 5, I reckon that my dad was probably either an INTJ or INFJ from what my mum has said. I'll post a little conversation we had about it today (anonymised) so you can see how I came to that conclusion (also she's cute :smile:).

So guys, what about your parents? What were they like, what types do you think they were/are, and how do you think that has influenced your own personality type?

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Interesting question! I’ve often wondered how much of this is natural, how much is a product of our environment..
Mine is tricky. My parents died when I was 14, but I think my mom was probably ISFJ and my father an ISTP.. though I will say that they were both probably too mentally unwell to type. My siblings are INFP, ISFJ, INTP, and me.. the INFJ.
However, after my parents died I lived with my aunt and uncle (wonderful people, and I consider them my actual parents) who are ESFJ and ENFP. I often feel there is an ENFP dwelling inside of me and wonder if I would have turned out to be a bit more extroverted if I hadn’t experienced so much childhood trauma and been raised by my aunt and uncle to begin with.
 
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neko said:
However, after my parents died I lived with my aunt and uncle (wonderful people, and I consider them my actual parents) who are ESFJ and ENFP. I often feel there is an ENFP dwelling inside of me and wonder if I would have turned out to be a bit more extroverted if I hadn’t experienced so much childhood trauma and been raised by my aunt and uncle to begin with.
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Hmm, that's interesting... I was reading about the neurological basis of extroversion/introversion and that it essentially boils down to introverts having more sensitive (requiring less stimulus) and plastic neurons which are capable of forming abstractions (fractal neural nets) much more rapidly, while extrovert neurons are more resistant to stimulus because their blahblah membranes are thicker.

The hypothesis was thus that there are only really IN and ES types, and an extroverted intuitive is likely to be someone who's just learned to cope with a lot of stimulus, while an introverted sensor is likely to be simply an ES with social anxiety.

So perhaps if you enjoy something like busy/crowded places, then you might be ES, while if they make you sweat, you're likely to be IN. In my case, if the city is full, I absolutely hate it and need to get out of there asap, even though I can repress the discomfort enough to get on with my business.
 
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Hmmm I am not going to make definite conclusions since I am still getting the hang on typing others, but most likely my father is either INTP or INTJ; and my mother is definitely an ESFJ! Most social butterfly ever.
 
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JennyDaniella said:
Hmmm I am not going to make definite conclusions since I am still getting the hang on typing others, but most likely my father is either INTP or INTJ; and my mother is definitely an ESFJ! Most social butterfly ever.
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Have you ever considered extroversion for yourself? Can you see yourself in your mum at all?

See, sometimes you're so max-Fe and supportive that I've wondered if you might be more like an ENFJ.
 
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Deleted member 16771 said:
Have you ever considered extroversion for yourself? Can you see yourself in your mum at all?

See, sometimes you're so max-Fe and supportive that I've wondered if you might be more like an ENFJ.
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I definitely do see a lot of myself within my mother; however, the way I present myself online is completely different than in person. I would say I’m more comfortable expressing myself online rather than irl.

My mother can last hours being around others and be in crowded places with no effect— whereas for myself, I just get way too overwhelmed and prefer being alone 80% of the time. Also to add, I’m an HSP; so being around others for too long or being in crowded places can be extremely draining, and I need to immediately be in my inner private shell and just be alone.

So yes, I’ve often wondered about my extroversion but I truly identify more with introversion than anything. My mother is just way too social and outgoing haha. She often comments herself that I need to socialize more rather than stay at home.
 
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Deleted member 16771 said:
Hi all, so last week I watched a video from INTJ & INFP Coffee and the INTJ there (Alex) mentioned that her mum is an ESFJ, just like mine, which got me wondering if there's any pattern between the types of our parents and our types.

In my case, I'm an INTJ and my mum is an ESFJ. While I was raised just by my mum after the age of about 5, I reckon that my dad was probably either an INTJ or INFJ from what my mum has said. I'll post a little conversation we had about it today (anonymised) so you can see how I came to that conclusion (also she's cute :smile:).

So guys, what about your parents? What were they like, what types do you think they were/are, and how do you think that has influenced your own personality type?

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My mother is ESFP and my father INTJ. My brother is INTJ and I'm INFJ. I've been interested in the relationship between family personality types. I find I call on ESFP persona for interacting with people at work and social events and call on my INTJ persona when trying to protect my squishy insides.
 
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This is interesting. I believe I also have an ESFJ parent, but it's my father, and my mother is an INTP, so they have the same functions in opposite order. So could be exactly like @JennyDaniella except that the genders are reversed. But I haven't thought about this deeply since I prefer not to type people I know.
 
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I’d say my mum is an INFJ or INFP without a shadow of a doubt. My dad was most definitely an extrovert type, couldn’t tell you which one probably ENFP if I was to have a wild stab.

It’s hard because even I struggle to type myself to be honest. 9/10 tests I do give me INFJ and 1/10 I will get INFP. I do think my core personality most definitely aligns with these types. However, I feel I’ve picked a lot of traits up from my environment that could make me look like another type. I grew up in a rough area and sort of went down the wrong path and I had to learn to stick up for myself and sort of gain a steeliness about me.

For example in work I can be pretty assertive and outspoken with my ideas. Not in a controversial way but it you most definitely see me as someone who seems less “sensitive”. I don’t know I’m rambling now but I reckon I could pull off any type depending on the situation haha
 
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I can definitely relate to the crowded places thing. Nothing makes my insides crawl more than seeing my train pull up absolutely jam packed.

I particularly struggle with open offices, where everything is in your face. Gives me almost like a sensory overload.

Although if I’m in a smaller group of say 3-5 people I can often be the most talkative person. Although, that slight feeling of being a fish out of water still lingers in the background.

I don’t know I’m fucking weird basically :tearsofjoy:
 
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