Why do we become what we hate?

[Rcs6r]

I am actually taking this topic from another forum (Gamefaqs, as it turns out), but I thought it was good: why do we become what we hate?

What does the question mean to you, and do people truly become what they hate?

The best response I saw so far was:

We become what we hate because we see certain aspects of ourselves in what we hate and in trying to hide those aspects we exacerbate them.

 

[ZcM4xzkjgzCjytBc]

What we hate are the things that conquer us. Beyond our preferences and what we believe to be right and wrong, is our happiness. Our subjective notions of right and wrong dissolves in our transition through pain. Eventually we see that judgment and hate gets us nowhere, only action will.

 

[ihavenofriends]

what do you exactly mean by that question,can you give any examples of people becoming who they hate

 

[Rcs6r]

What we hate are the things that conquer us. Beyond our preferences and what we believe to be right and wrong, is our happiness.

This makes a lot of sense. People feel jealous and threatened by others and so to even the odds or surpass them we adopt (consciously or subconsciously) the behaviors and traits that will give us equal footing.

what do you exactly mean by that question,can you give any examples of people becoming who they hate

I didn't come up with the original topic, someone from another forum did, but I think it pertains to the abstract concept of "right vs wrong" that @ruji mentioned above.

We go against our own morals, or even change aspects of our personality to those completely un-like ourselves in an effort to either understand or conquer someone. Sort of like the saying "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em"– but instead of being a team-player you're acting out of spite.

Curious as to what the question means to you though?

 

[ihavenofriends]

ne from another forum did, but I think it pertains to the abstract concept of "right vs wrong" that @ruji mentioned above. We go against our own morals, or even change aspects of our personality to those completely un-like ourselves in an effort to either understand or conquer someone. Sort of like a "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em"– but instead

because humans want acceptance and from childhood are conditioned to believe that whatever society thinks must be moral and thus right,to have a sense of an ego boost and self affirmation by affirming to morals people get an ego boost from doing the moral and "right" thing just so they can fit in,

i was really just wondering what it meant to you but i thought it was something like a someone who hates homosexuals turning out to be gay etc

 

[ihavenofriends]

its sort of why socially acceptable and non socially acceptable things exist

 

[Rcs6r]

something like a someone who hates homosexuals turning out to be gay

This is an interesting interpretation. In this case, the person who was gay always was from the start but grew up in an environment that taught him/her to essentially hate what they are, which can cause a lashing out towards others or the self.

 

[Asa]

I hate death.
So, well...... dammit!

 

[James]

I am actually taking this topic from another forum (Gamefaqs, as it turns out), but I thought it was good: why do we become what we hate?

What does the question mean to you, and do people truly become what they hate?

The best response I saw so far was:

I'm not sure that we do become what we hate, but I think we are influenced by everything in our environment. To 'hate' something suggests a very strong influence to me, albeit a negative one. Perhaps there is a touch of this. I hope not, but I suspect there is more than a grain of truth in it.

“Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.”

― Friedrich Nietzsche

 

[CindyLou]

I think people become what they hate when they've been wronged and refuse to forgive and instead try and change others or the world around them as a way of coping with the pain. It doesn't happen immediately but if you go too long in that state and you will eventually become what you hate.

A person who is homosexual who outwardly hates gays is displaying reaction formation, I believe that is what it's called anyway. That isn't becoming what you hate as more self hatred from the beginning.

 

[Littlelissa]

Fear can make you become what you hate. Fear of trying, fear of living- not really overcoming disappointments and setbacks. These themes come up a lot in literature and I think are true to life.
A good example of this 'Death of a Salesman' Arthur Miller, a story about a dad, looking back at his life and having a crisis about his sense of failure in life and the lost of his dreams and potential.

 

[Barnabas]

Fear, hate, anger, are safety responses. You feel them when you r something you value is threatened, and once you identify a threat you hone in on as to, you focus on it to keep it from hurting you. You give yourself a sort of tunnel vision making it hard to see the world and it's context around you.

The emotions aren't bad, they aren't wrong, but they are powerful and with out self control you can lose yourself to them and never even know it.

 

[Sandie33]

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

http://www.virtuesforlife.com/two-wolves/

 

[sprinkles]

Psychological residue. Toxicity.

When you take something into your mind, it doesn't just go away when you're done with it. It kicks around up there for a while. It makes ripples. Take in enough of something for long enough and you become it. Pretty soon it starts infecting your other thoughts and bleeding over into the choices you make, which may cause reinforcing feedback.

 

[Eventhorizon]

We see it as obtainable where we see love as being mostly unobtainable.
There was an old kungfu episode where he fell into a pool of what he thought was acid because he thought it was acid. His fear pulled him in.

 

[Free]

This has been sourced as being from Gandhi to a slew of various authors and philosophers. Regardless of its true origin, it still rings true:

"What we dislike in ourselves we dislike in others."

For myself, its not a matter of becoming what you hate, more of coming to the realization that these things/traits/ideals possibly have always existed within us.

 

[Eventhorizon]

Fear, hate, anger, are safety responses. You feel them when you r something you value is threatened, and once you identify a threat you hone in on as to, you focus on it to keep it from hurting you. You give yourself a sort of tunnel vision making it hard to see the world and it's context around you.

The emotions aren't bad, they aren't wrong, but they are powerful and with out self control you can lose yourself to them and never even know it.

Wow ...been a while.

 

[Eventhorizon]

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

http://www.virtuesforlife.com/two-wolves/

I soooo hate this story now because I see it everywhere.

I starved both wolves...to death. What of your story now?

 

[Eventhorizon]

I'm not sure that we do become what we hate, but I think we are influenced by everything in our environment. To 'hate' something suggests a very strong influence to me, albeit a negative one. Perhaps there is a touch of this. I hope not, but I suspect there is more than a grain of truth in it.

“Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.”

― Friedrich Nietzsche

I gazed into the abyss and it blinked.

 

[Sandie33]

I soooo hate this story now because I see it everywhere.

I starved both wolves...to death. What of your story now?

Wouldn't starving both make one empty?