Thing is, i don't care much for confrontation or assertiveness, so in many cases, i don't "stand up for myself" which of course is seen as doormat behavior. The person who feels the need to prove themselves, wants others to prove themselves as well, and so each person is looking to the other to "flex" or "strut" or "show" to let everyone know that they won't let anyone walk all over them. Whenever i've tried that kind of posturing, for one, it's looks utterly ridiculous, and two, it just seemed as if i was trying too hard to prove something (which comes across as really weird or awkward), so i try not to waste as much energy "standing up" for myself (whatever that means). As a result, people will usually see you as an easy mark or a coward, less confident or even less competent, simply because you didn't "show them." Fact is (and many people will think i'm lying) i really don't care what people think, but i do care about the way you treat me. There is a difference. I don't care if you like me or love me just don't disrespect me. For me, standing up for myself, means walking away or not responding. If you perceive that as weakness . . . fine, just don't think i don't see what you're thinking or doing. And although this "walking away" or not responding isn't necessarily the easiest way to deal with things, i'd rather be comfortable with me as i am than prove anything to anyone else. I'm done fighting, as they say. It's too tiring. People are taught to care about what they "see," or what's "visible." And that's where the fault in perception lies. People mistake perception for reality.