What does introversion feel like? | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

What does introversion feel like?

When I'm around a crowd, I sometimes feel like I'm expected to do something. Unless I notice a lot of others keeping to themselves.
Around close friends, there's probably something engaging to do or talk about.

When talking to people, I usually can't go a conversation without looking away (diagonally up-right) at least once. My sister (INFP) does the same.
Actions/reactions to people really depends on the person, and motives etc.

I tend to be a lot more in-my-head than most people, except for some INTJs I know.
 
How do you feel when you're alone, when you're with a couple close friends, when you meet people for the first time, etc? How do you react in social situations, outwardly and inwardly?
- Feel comfortable one on one vs. in crowds. Dislike attention or "all eyes on me". I feel more relaxed talking and sharing my feelings with one person vs. a group. Feel self conscious in crowds, but that's a matter of shyness or social anxiety. I see my introversion in my inability to feel relaxed when around too many people. I tend to be withdrawn on some level but I do like going out and socializing with a few people who are close. I can initiate conversation with strangers but when I can ask questions vs. answer any questions about myself.

How does introversion manifest itself in the rest of your personality?
-see above

How do you know you're an introvert, and how much more introverted do you think you seem to be compared to most people you know?
- No clue. In some situations, I'm very talkative. So someone could easily say I'm an extrovert. But then in other situations, I'm quiet and not talkative, and then someone may say I'm introverted.

How do you feel around talkative people, and how do you feel around quiet people? What responses do these people elicit in you?
-I feel overwhelmed by someone who is very talkative and feel as if I have to work harder to engage someone when they're very quiet. It's nice when both people engage. I dislike conversational monologues by me or other person. If I have to do all the talking, which often feels like work, then i'd probably get tired of the conversation. It's nice when someone at least makes the effort.
 
How do you feel when you're alone, when you're with a couple close friends, when you meet people for the first time, etc? How do you react in social situations, outwardly and inwardly?

I feel entirely comfortable and natural when Im alone. I love being with a couple of close friends. I prefer one on one interactions but I can be very happy in a group of friends or like minded people. How I am when I meet people for the 1st time varies- sometimes I can be extremely sociable and at other times more aloof. In group situations Im often very aware of the dynamics, and sometimes cant just be myself because Im so concerned about everyone else. Some social situations feel more like an obligation, but other times I really enjoy the experience. I can be a great host or faciliator- very good at encouraging others to talk and engage. Im very curious about people so that normally overcomes my hesitation or reservedness in approaching others. Other times though Im so stuck in my head that I can become oblivious to stuff happening around me and can come across as aloof, quiet, or even rude or arrogrant. At a party, I often find someone I can have a deep and meaningful with.

How does introversion manifest itself in the rest of your personality?

In the most basic terms- I am never bored. I thoroughly enjoy being alone and my own company. After spending a lot of time around others I need space and time to myself. Socialising or overly physical activities can be very draining. Many times I will choose to be by myself rather than go out and socialise. I enjoy working alone or in a pair. I need automomy and independance.

How do you know you're an introvert, and how much more introverted do you think you seem to be compared to most people you know?

Im stuck in my head and extremely comfortable alone- I find it energising. I am uncordinated and clumsy sometimes because I can become unaware of my environment. I space out a lot. I dont need much external stimulus and too much is draining. I think Im very introverted compared to others but I dont know this objectively

How do you feel around talkative people, and how do you feel around quiet people? What responses do these people elicit in you?

It really depends. Either way people can be engaging. I find all people fascinating and interesting. Ive never met a boring person. Talkative people can be fun, but sometimes it feels that they are only talking and not listening. It doesnt feel like a real conversation, more like being talked at. Sometimes this in itself is not bad and can be entertaining. I despise gossip, critising, whinging, complaining, nagging, rudeness and excessive judgementalness, close mindedness- with talkative or quiet people. Quiet people can be easier to have real conversations with because they listen as well as talk. Its easy to have comfortable silences with quiet people, talkative people sometimes just need to fill all empty space with empty words. I love comfortable silences.

Its not really about talkative or quiet, extraverted or intoverted, its about desire and ability of both parties to engage and communicate. The best listeners I have experienced in my life are an INFJ, ENFP, ENTP, INTP, ISTP, and ISFJ. The easiest types for me to have an engaging conversation with are INFJ, ENFP, ESTP, INFP, ENTP, ESTJ, INTJ, INTP, ISTP. The easiest types to strike up any type of superficial conversation or banter with- ESFP, ENFJ, ESFJ, ISTJ, ISFP, ENTJ, ESTP, ENFP, ESTJ and ISFJ.
 
I find I feel the most energized when I am alone.

When I'm around friends and family, I start feeling my personal energy levels become drained, even if I am fond of the company. Sometimes if what my friends/family talk about is something I am not interested, my energy levels drop even more.

Staying at a large party one Friday night = wanting to be alone all weekend to recharge my energy levels.

I enjoy talkative people when they talk about things that interest me. I can only take so much talking until I feel tired, though, and sometimes the talkative person gets the wrong idea when I start becoming sleepy around them.

Quiet people? Sometimes when I can't get them to talk, first few times around them I'll start rambling aimlessly because something in my ramble might strike a discussion topic. If they still stay quiet and don't really try and reciprocate in conversation, I get quiet and tend to not bother trying to talk with the quiet person anymore.
 
I feel calm and collected when by myself, with occasional lonliness occuring as a distant longing feeling that draws warmer and closer to my heart over time.

When in groups, if they are familiar I am at ease but prone to wandering off to do my own thing. If unfamiliar or potentially dangerous, I become more stern and don't really engage with other people - like I let a wall come down from the sky to cut people off. No emotional or relational kicks thanks, I'm going in, doing my job, dropping no clues and then leaving. Unless I relax, which usually takes a bit of time and quiet.
 
niffer said:
How do you feel when you're alone, when you're with a couple close friends, when you meet people for the first time, etc? How do you react in social situations, outwardly and inwardly?

How does introversion manifest itself in the rest of your personality?

How do you know you're an introvert, and how much more introverted do you think you seem to be compared to most people you know?

How do you feel around talkative people, and how do you feel around quiet people? What responses do these people elicit in you?

Enlighten me... :m096:


Edit: Please also see this post. Thx!
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im more introverted than anyone i think i have met in person and i believe im one of the most introverted people on this forum. there are others on forum who im sure are more introverted than me but not many. almost all of my social need is fulfilled by the forum. the only person i actually need to see is my mother, but having said that, she has been away for a week now or maybe more and i have not spoken to her on the phone, and i am very content not to speak to her until she comes home. if i had a husband i would need to see him, but i could easily go for long periods of time without seeing him, as long as i knew he was ok.

when im alone i feel great. i feel a sense of expansiveness, freedom, and possibility. i once read a story about a woman who was an expert networker. (i shelve a lot of business books at my work, and sometimes i peek through them.) this woman was clearly an extrovert, but in addition she was able to network very easily with others. she felt a special sense of connection when meeting certain new people, and she knew that they would be able to mutually benefit each other. she had hundreds of genuine social contacts. this special feeling that she had with others is probably similar to what i feel when im alone. i feel like a special, creative inspiration could happen when im alone, and often it does. this has a broad manifestation in my personality because i derive my sense of identity by being creative and i need to be alone in order to be creative. so i guess in a sense i live to be alone.

i have close friends and i find it very enjoyable to spend time with them but although i am enjoying myself i am also thinking about how soon i will be able to be alone again, and when we say goodbye im relieved that im alone again. i can go months or even years without seeing them and feel no less close to them. if i have to socialise with more than one person at once, i dont enjoy myself, even if it is with just 2 members of my immediate family. i become agitated and i fidget and go completely silent and before long i leave the room. spending time with a group of people makes me feel really uncomfortable, stiff and unnatural, everything seems very inauthentic to me, and i see myself like a cardboard cut out that cant participate properly. if its in a work situation its OK, because i can move away and go on with some work, but in any other situation i start to perspire and all i can think about is wanting to be alone. alcohol used to make it easier when i was younger, but alcohol doesnt seem to work anymore, i just want to be alone.

i can talk a lot with a close friend, but thats just because i know im going to be alone again soon. apart from that i dont like to be around talkative people and i want them to stfu. for some reason im able to create a feeling of serenity around myself that makes people want to enjoy silence, but some people are unable to be quiet, they are compelled to keep talking. they always seem to have loud atonal voices and those people are the worst. i need to run away from them, because if i dont, i will lose control of my temper and say something cruel to them.
 
I'm not entirely sure because I have also been shy and lonely and these are similar but not the same.

The best example I can give is at work. I had a choice between a lively 15-bed ward with much more to do (like a pool table and such) or a 6-bed ward that is more intensive and with much less to do. I worked very well on the larger ward but realised that if I were to work there full time for a month I would be absolutely drained. My introversion didn't kick in throughout the day because I needed to keep going but it was there at the end of the day, I barely spoke to my family after getting in at all and it's a small place. It was unsustainable.

When I say 'worked very well', I guess I could elaborate. It was getting along well with patients and staff with very little stresses and everything handled well. Almost all contact with people was generally positive and yet, when on my break, I want to be absolutely alone. There are pleasant people around the building I could go and have a chat with, it would be nice, but I would much rather be alone. It needs to happen but repressing it just leads to crankiness about other things, I have never equated it directly to a lack of alone-time...which is odd because apparently it is something I need. I suppose I haven't had to grab it where I ca until very recently.
 
It feels like other people begin to bog you down and annoy you when you just want to be alone and bask in peace and quiet. Although if you can't imagine being alone ever, you will never understand this feeling.
 
People think you have a mental or personality disorder if you are not always talkative or outgoing every time they see you. They think you're mean, antisocial, depressed, or troubled because you're not expressive about everything you feel or they think you're deep or very intelligent or really sweet because you don't talk that much.
 
[MENTION=3998]niffer[/MENTION]

Introversion is knowing all of the right answers but not saying them out loud. (E.g. Not raising hand in class)

I will answer all questions later when I get a min :)
 
Introversion is like siphoning off ½ of the sun, putting it into a syringe and in injecting it directly into your heart. It’s a godlike rush of…

No, sorry. Feeling a bit funny today.

I cant explain introversion to someone who does have it in a way they could understand I think. All I can say is that for the most part, strangers (almost everyone) who want something from me and are in my personal space trying to get it, tire me as if I ran a marathon that day.
 
just realized there were questions . . .

How do you feel when you're alone, when you're with a couple close friends, when you meet people for the first time, etc? How do you react in social situations, outwardly and inwardly?
- when i am alone, i don't always think about it. i am easily drained by too much social interaction so being alone allows me to feel more relaxed and normal. i like hanging with friends but in small groups, mostly one on one. when i meet people for the first time i'm very open and engaging. I like getting to know people, but i start to become more reserved after a while if i have to do too much to keep someone's interest. I don't like having to entertain someone just to keep them interested. I also tend to withdraw if someone is too aggressive or imposing or if I have to carry the conversation most of the time. I like balance. I am very talkative when I know someone well, but I don't like being the most talkative one all the time. I am not talkative in groups where I don't know people well. I hate it when someone single's me out because they think i'm too 'quiet'. It makes me want to punch someone in the face :)

How does introversion manifest itself in the rest of your personality? How do you know you're an introvert, and how much more introverted do you think you seem to be compared to most people you know?
-i am more extroverted than other introverts probably because I teach. However, people misunderstand my personality. Sometimes I'm just being chill and want to keep to myself just for my own sanity, so I avoid too much interaction. i have emotional empathy and I'm a people pleaser but these qualities often translate into doormat or simpleton so I often dissociate or distance myself (i call it emotional detox) or I start to hate everyone :). I don't see this withdrawal as introversion or shyness but I guess that's how it would be seen.

edit: I tend to speak more slowly and take some time to get my thoughts out. People sometimes think someone is dumber or doesn't have much to say if they're not assertive or don't like to interrupt others. If you don't speak quickly and brusquely, people think you're stupid.

I agree with @Eventhorizon that people tend to expect or want more from you as an introvert. They feel they have the right to impose on you more than others especially if they perceive you as 'nice'. They assume you will and should take or put up with more simply because you seem more easy going. I'm actually a more serious person than most realize but since that is perceived more negatively, I generally appear quite differently than I am or feel. It's interesting what people assume because of someone's persona. People think they know so much more than they do. I am always fascinated by the impressions people have of me, especially when I don't say much. They assume a lot. :D
 
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How do you feel when you're alone, when you're with a couple close friends, when you meet people for the first time, etc? How do you react in social situations, outwardly and inwardly?

I'm comfortable alone but I do need close relationships to feel my best. When my kids were young that was great for me because I had the bonds that I 'need' but they were not 'other people', obviously they were other human beings but they were kind of a part of me (hard to explain but that's how it feels in retrospect). They did not drain me the way others can drain me (although they could drain me in other ways).

The 'not so close' other people in my life I could do without, and choose to not interact with them too often.

I am much more comfortable in social situations now. I just stay present and try to show genuine interest in people, that way every once in a while I find a 'gem' among all the people that I can't connect with.

How does introversion manifest itself in the rest of your personality?

I just need 'space', breathing room between anything and everything. Meaning that I feel overwhelmed if I have too many activities or responsibilities, interactions with people, anything really...I just need to feel that I am not suffocated by people, things, time crunches...

How do you know you're an introvert, and how much more introverted do you think you seem to be compared to most people you know?

I think because I grew up with a family of extroverts and a mother who was extremely extroverted I felt from as far as I can remember that I required alone time more than others. I can't remember not knowing the word 'introvert'. I have identified myself as that for as long as I can remember. I never thought of it as negative but just of fact of my personality. I could spend my entire day locked up in my room reading or drawing and I was perfectly fine. My mom often thought there was something wrong me but I was happy. My parents were very social people so I think that helped probably make me more comfortable in social settings than some introverts are.

Now I work from home so I get to be alone which is great for me but when I used to work in a business I used to have to lock myself up in the bathroom for a bit every day so I could recoup from having to deal with people all day (I think they thought I just had some gastrointestinal issues but it was more introversion issues).

I hate crowded places, being in one just absolutely drains me to the core. I dislike travelling to 'touristy' places, I will usually travel out of season because I prefer bad weather with less people than nice weather with lots of people. I hate crowded beaches but I love wild isolated beaches on a cool windy day, not a place to sunbathe but a place where I can breathe.

How do you feel around talkative people, and how do you feel around quiet people? What responses do these people elicit in you?

How I feel around talkative people depends on the person, if they are intelligent and not too 'in your face' or aggressive then I enjoy having conversations and I can usually keep up. People that are too loud or just have an aggressive vibe to them can really drain me quickly.

Quiet people I can be quite comfortable with, but when you are in a relationship with someone that can be a problem because I like to know how they are feeling and what is going on in their life so if nothing gets shared then that can make me feel bad. Like my youngest son who doesn't want to talk to me about anything, that makes me worry and makes me somewhat uncomfortable. If we are having dinner just the two of us and he cuts off any conversation and wants us to eat in silence I don't like that.
 
How do you feel when you're alone, when you're with a couple close friends, when you meet people for the first time, etc? How do you react in social situations, outwardly and inwardly?

I feel happy when I'm alone, I feel that I'm myself. I don't need to pretend to be more social and talkative, so I feel good and easy. With close friends... Well, I don't have any close friends, only my boyfriend. :( But I feel more talkative with people who are very close and meaningful to me, I can open up and tell what's in my mind, so much easier. Of course I don't always tell every single thing from my mind, because I am so introvert and I need my own space, I need to recharge my batteries. When meeting someone for the first time, well... it's awkward, haha. I feel so uncomfortable and nervous! Because I'm so shy and kind of afraid of people sometimes... I know that people won't bite and they are just human beings, but I feel so weird around new people, I don't know what I should say or what I should do, and it feels so hard. Then they keep looking at me with ''umm???'' face. In social situations, I am always thinking, my mind is more social than my mouth, lol. I am mostly quiet and shy... And only saying something if someone is talking to me. I need to open a little bit more... No wonder I have no close friends. Too high walls around me.

How does introversion manifest itself in the rest of your personality?

I need my own space and I like to do things much more slowly. Too much people, too much noise and too much of this and that... And I will feel so tired mentally and physically. I like to do things alone, especially photographing!

How do you know you're an introvert, and how much more introverted do you think you seem to be compared to most people you know?

I use my mind more than my mouth, or how I should put it... I am much more introverted than my family for example. I am always the most quiet in many situations. I am happy to have a job where I don't need to meet too many people in the day. Feels nice! I don't talk a lot but if it's a very close person to me, I can talk hours! So it depends... but that rarely happens.

How do you feel around talkative people, and how do you feel around quiet people? What responses do these people elicit in you?

It depends on the person really and the chemistry between me and the person. I have known some very friendly and kind talkative people, where I have felt very comfortable but also quiet people where I have felt not so comfortable. I don't know, I think it's ''chemistry'' thing?
 
niffer said:
How do you feel when you're alone
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Just right. :)

when you're with a couple close friends
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Also right, though it drains my energy when we're together for too long and I have no chance to quietly reflect.

when you meet people for the first time?
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Very nervous and insecure, but curious at the same time. I like getting to know new people.

How do you react in social situations, outwardly and inwardly?
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I always react inwardly first. There is always some reflection in everything I do and perceive (Ni). Outwardly, I guess I'm a very easygoing and accepting person. People know they can be who they really are in front of me and don't have to fear being judged by me. That makes them quite comfortable, and I'm known for getting along with almost everyone.
How does introversion manifest itself in the rest of your personality?
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I really need much time for myself. And I reflect on everything, interpret very much even into everyday events. I keep the things that are really important to me mostly to myself, and even my closest friends don't know much about my very inner.

How do you know you're an introvert, and how much more introverted do you think you seem to be compared to most people you know?
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I never thought about being an extravert because I'm really, really introverted. I always enjoyed being alone. And I never 'cared' about others as much as I cared about myself - I don't mean this in a selfish way, because actually I care very much about others - but this is because it's part of my inner ideal vision, and I reflect it for myself first.

How do you feel around talkative people, and how do you feel around quiet people? What responses do these people elicit in you?
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I get along with talkative people very well, too, though I drift off when it comes to small talk and repetitive complaining or gossiping about everyday life. That annoys me very much, and I just don't listen anymore in such cases. Unfortunately, many people seem to be very concerned with everyday banalities, and are not interested in the things that I like. But it's not too bad either.
 
Being alone is funny.

I want to be alone...but then...sometimes I feel lonely. It's hard to describe...it's not physically lonely...but lonely in the sense that it's often hard to have that special connection.
 
This is how I feel inwardly when I meet knew people:
[video=youtube_share;I4aAUq_AiPg]http://youtu.be/I4aAUq_AiPg?t=1m10s[/video]
 
How do you feel when you're alone, when you're with a couple close friends, when you meet people for the first time, etc? How do you react in social situations, outwardly and inwardly?

Alone, good, i spend most of my time this way, and have no need to share too much with others. Nonetheless sometimes when the moon is full (some friday night) i can go out and have a great time with friends. With strangers takes a while for me to open up, inwardly i feel kind of uncomfortable, i can handle it, but the shyness would still be there so outwardly i'm mostly quiet and aloof.

How does introversion manifest itself in the rest of your personality?

Seldom talk about what i feel or think, i'd rather keep my insights to myself, and discuss it with someone who really understands. I need time alone, it's a requirement, too much exposition leads to exhaustion, i need to dissapear from my social circle from time to time. Also i'm extremely nitpicky with people, some mistake this with elitism, but it isn't, there's chemistry with some, and no rapport with others, don't have the ability to pretend to like people i simply don't get, so i'd rather keep my distance from them as much as i can, not that i'm completely unnaproachable nor open to change my mind about some of them as time goes by.

How do you know you're an introvert, and how much more introverted do you think you seem to be compared to most people you know?

Always have been, it's natural. I'm with no doubt an introverted person, i have known people who seem more shy than i am, not many though.

How do you feel around talkative people, and how do you feel around quiet people? What responses do these people elicit in you?

Generally a little bit overwhelmed, sometimes annoyed, they're fun to talk to nonetheless. With quiet people i like that we can sit and stay quiet for a long time but still feel comfortable with each other.
 
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“People are wonderful. I love individuals. I hate groups of people. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. And armbands. And fight songs. And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking.”

― George Carlin
 
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