I'd say be very specific in what you say. I have an E/ISFP mum who needs exact times/dates of things, exactly what we're going to have for dinner, things like that.
Just don't leave any abstractness
Its a good thing that I am usually direct (I think)...Oh god yes this. Many a time (especially with my mum) I'm just screaming "just effing spell it out!" in my head.
All I need is who, what, and when, all the rest is just irrelevent.
Its a good thing that I am usually direct (I think)...
I like things being spelled out too though, clarity ftw.
I don't think S and N are totally different in this.
My mother is an ESTP and from trial and error, I think you should definitely remember that Sensors usually don't have hidden motives (which is refreshing). We Ns can jump to conclusions an awful lot and assume things that aren't there (especially if we use Ne too much).
You just explained what I'd wanted to sayI'd advise you not to be TOO resistant to social norms or what you might look at as "conforming." I don't know if this is a problem with you or not, but it can be with some INFJs (using Fe to analyze what is socially acceptable, but in a negative light. Maybe this is something that mostly Enneagram 4 INFJs do).
Be warned that she might think some of your quirks are silly, even if they're things that you value very much. Be willing to bend a little to her expectations. Remember that changing a few external things to her liking isn't equivalent to changing who you are inside.
Same with me and my ESFJ sister.
I'd advise you not to be TOO resistant to social norms or what you might look at as "conforming." I don't know if this is a problem with you or not, but it can be with some INFJs (using Fe to analyze what is socially acceptable, but in a negative light. Maybe this is something that mostly Enneagram 4 INFJs do).
Be warned that she might think some of your quirks are silly, even if they're things that you value very much. Be willing to bend a little to her expectations. Remember that changing a few external things to her liking isn't equivalent to changing who you are inside.
Same with me and my ESFJ sister.
An ESFJ?
Damn, why do the ENTP's miss out?
Oh haha! This is a really good example of S and N in action, I love it. Also, the interaction is damn cute, indeed ^^.All good points. My Enneagram is 2 for the person who asked- helpfulness...
I figured out some specific examples of S versus N once I asked the question. Example:
We were making dinner, and she was cutting the vegetables while I emptied the dishwasher (and I was ultimately doing the cooking). I plopped different some vegetables and 2 tupperware containers in front of her and said "go" (we're vegetarians). No further instructions, which is very N like.
Her S kicked in pretty quickly, and she cutely asked "what are we making? How much of each thing do you want cut? How do you want it cut? And in which container do you want each of them?" To my N, it didn't matter- cut some veggies and I'll make dinner. To her S, she needed more specific direction.
I didn't mean compromising who you are, sorry if it came out that way. I just meant being less stubborn about things that are ultimately not that important. I do this myself; I take great offense whenever my ESFJ sister tells me I should cut my long hair, or dress sensibly. I interpret it as her trying to change who I am on the inside. But I have to remind myself that that's her way of showing she cares, and she's just trying to help me; and even if I dressed differently, I'd still be me on the inside. If I were in a relationship with someone like her, I wouldn't change myself, but I might compromise something little like the way I dress. Not change it completely, but maybe tone it down just a little. And I'd expect the same willingness to compromise from my partner. No two people are naturally perfectly compatible.
In my experience the ESFJ can be very manipulative...Yes they can be very blunt and honest. I think because they can form their values/lives around who they are hanging with at the time, they can get caught up trying to meet their needs without their "source" really knowing it to avoid being kicked out of their peer group.Okay here's my advice. Whatever she tells you is probably the blunt, honest, truth. There is no hidden agenda in any argument she may have with you. You do not need to look past what she says and come to a conclusion about it.
It's all about understanding, it's easy to get frustrated but if you take the time to explain things, things will go a lot smoother.