For most of life, I assumed I wanted a lifelong relationship with a single partner, who I would devote my emotional, mental and spiritual energy towards. Now, I'm not so sure. Please bear with me as I try to explain, because in my experience most INFJs are into monogamy, but I would like to delve a bit deeper into why.
First, I am in a relationship with an INTP who is a better partner than I ever imagined someone could be. But we are officially in a sort of open relationship, with the long-term potential of it becoming a polyamorous relationship (we would be each others' primary partners, while we would also have other partners, either regularly or otherwise).
To my own surprise, I don't see the purpose of complete fidelity. I don't feel jealous when my partner is intimate with others, as he has been around me. I enjoy seeing their shared pleasure, and feel no reason to join in myself. My partner is too insecure to allow me to do much with others, which I presently don't mind. I haven't met anyone I would want to be intimate with except for him, as I haven't found anyone else I am romantically attracted to, except for a female-bodied friend. We are trying to work out a foursome with her and her boyfriend.
I have a much lower sex drive than him, and than average, I think. But sexual desire is a very small part of how I desire meaningfully connecting with people. I get a lot more out of masturbation than sex, honestly, but I enjoy nothing more than cuddling.
When I feel a deep emotional connection with someone, I want to express it physically. It just seems part of the total process of communicating my love to others, not something to limit to a single individual.
If my partner should leave me, I would still be happy knowing he's with someone else who makes him happy. I can never see leaving him though, and he endlessly assures me he will never be able to leave me.
I hope this makes sense, as I am still trying to figure out my feelings myself. I am curious how this corresponds with my personality type, if it in any ways does.
First, I am in a relationship with an INTP who is a better partner than I ever imagined someone could be. But we are officially in a sort of open relationship, with the long-term potential of it becoming a polyamorous relationship (we would be each others' primary partners, while we would also have other partners, either regularly or otherwise).
To my own surprise, I don't see the purpose of complete fidelity. I don't feel jealous when my partner is intimate with others, as he has been around me. I enjoy seeing their shared pleasure, and feel no reason to join in myself. My partner is too insecure to allow me to do much with others, which I presently don't mind. I haven't met anyone I would want to be intimate with except for him, as I haven't found anyone else I am romantically attracted to, except for a female-bodied friend. We are trying to work out a foursome with her and her boyfriend.
I have a much lower sex drive than him, and than average, I think. But sexual desire is a very small part of how I desire meaningfully connecting with people. I get a lot more out of masturbation than sex, honestly, but I enjoy nothing more than cuddling.
When I feel a deep emotional connection with someone, I want to express it physically. It just seems part of the total process of communicating my love to others, not something to limit to a single individual.
If my partner should leave me, I would still be happy knowing he's with someone else who makes him happy. I can never see leaving him though, and he endlessly assures me he will never be able to leave me.
I hope this makes sense, as I am still trying to figure out my feelings myself. I am curious how this corresponds with my personality type, if it in any ways does.