Hi.. was just wondering if any of you female INFJs find that they parent very differently from other people. My parenting style fits really well into the "protector" category and also I seem to have a hard time not taking everything that happens with my child very personally and process it almost as if it was happening to me.
INFJs females and parenting
- Thread starter emb
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My ex-girlfriends mom was an INFJ and she was very attached to her kids. Looking at her I got the impression that it physically hurt her when he kids would leave the house even for a couple of days, or do something that she wasn't proud of. "Protector" is definitely a word that I would use for her. Being a male INFJ, I don't know if I can offer any qualified insight, but I hope what I wrote was along the lines of what you were looking for 
I have two kids, and I related to them differently. I found that my son is much more like me than my daughter is. I did take things personally, but I didn't protect them as much as some other mothers I knew. Parenting was incredibly difficult, but also incredibly rewarding for me. It was the best job ever for me.
Thanks everyone for responding and sorry about the delayed reply. Vandyke, yes, that's what I was talking about.
I guess partially the reason for my behavior is probably due to my anxiety and that's why I was wondering if others of my type could relate. What I meant was that I seem to be extremely protective (if it rains, I will definitely tell him to take an umbrella whereas one of my coworkers looked at me like I had two heads when I told her this - she apparently wouldn't even mention anything), or if I feel he is not being treated fairly by someone - friends, teachers, anyone - I can feel this physical sensation as if it was happening to me.
What I've been observing that my primary instinct is to protect, to make sure thing get done and done on time (my J) and I don't pay as much attention to the very common perception of "let him make his own mistakes, he'll learn that way" type of mentality..
I could go on and on with other examples but you probably get the picture.
I guess partially the reason for my behavior is probably due to my anxiety and that's why I was wondering if others of my type could relate. What I meant was that I seem to be extremely protective (if it rains, I will definitely tell him to take an umbrella whereas one of my coworkers looked at me like I had two heads when I told her this - she apparently wouldn't even mention anything), or if I feel he is not being treated fairly by someone - friends, teachers, anyone - I can feel this physical sensation as if it was happening to me.
What I've been observing that my primary instinct is to protect, to make sure thing get done and done on time (my J) and I don't pay as much attention to the very common perception of "let him make his own mistakes, he'll learn that way" type of mentality..
I could go on and on with other examples but you probably get the picture.
Well... Even though I can fairly say I don't have any maternal instincts (and I know I'm not going to have children in the future), the way you all described your motherhood experiences can clearly be seen in my relationships with my close friends. I am definately a protector, and like emb mentioned, it's very hard for me to not butt in their business when I see they're clearly making a mistake at something. I know I should just let them learn from their mistakes, but it takes me a lot of willpower to do so.
Also if someone close to me is being mistreated, I can feel it too and it has created some jarring situations when I simply haven't been able to keep my mouth shut. I think it's very much due to the fact that I deal with things with my feelings and have a hard time disconnecting myself from them sometimes.
Also if someone close to me is being mistreated, I can feel it too and it has created some jarring situations when I simply haven't been able to keep my mouth shut.
I think it's very much due to the fact that I deal with things with my feelings and have a hard time disconnecting myself from them sometimes.