Ixsportu2er
Regular Poster
- MBTI
- Yang
- Enneagram
- 7
So, I was curious about how and why INFJs get "clingy". I mean I like the clingyness, but that's not my problem. My problem is that she gets mad at me when I am out doing stuff. And here are my examples.
First, some back story... We met in college, she graduated in May, I live in Houston, she lives in Dallas. She's visited me once, And I've visited her once, every is fine and I'm more in love with her than I have been with anyone, and I feel she loves me too.
Okay, this summer, I've been spending most of it at home, but it started to get to me, and I was getting depressed-ish (I'm an ENTP). My INFJ girlfriend can refill me, but I still need to extrovert once in a while. So my brother asked me to come swimming with him, So I did, and I ended up spending the night. I talked to her, that night, for like an hour before bed, and the next day, was Sunday, and my step mom was cooking for my uncles birthday, So I went to the party, and was drinking the whole time, and having a good time, and left late again, and called her late. And then the last day I went to a poker tournament, and had a lot of fun, and came home late again (btw I texted her all day for the most part, nothing really in depth, just kind of the check-in and let her know what I was doing).
All of these days seemed fine, and she seemed to be happy, she didn't say anything to me, except for on the last day, she got really angry and cold with me, and acted like I had cheated on her or something. I told her I wasn't, but she stayed mad at the the entire next day, and questioned whether she was going to come for our planned visit that we had planned next week, and whether we're really meant to be together. This is something I don't understand at all, I didn't do anything wrong? I just needed to talk to people I was going crazy! So, she decided to forgive and forget, I told her what I did all those days, which I did every night anyways, and tried to calm her.
So last night, my mom invited me and my 2 brothers, and other family members to her house to celebrate her birthday, we cooked, and ate, and at 11:30 I texted her and told her I was playing monopoly, and having a few drinks with my family, She immediately texted me and told me to have fun and goodnight! which was WAY early for her, and she didn't tell me that she loved me... I didn't notice that she said goodnight so I texted her last night at 12:30 and was trying to figure out if she was still awake, after a few text I gave up, told her goodnight and that I loved her, and she texted me 30 minutes later saying goodnight....
I texted back, asked her what she was doing, and she said nothing, and then asked me if I was home, and I said I was driving home (which I was) (1:30 am at this point). My brother was in the car, so I talked to him about some issues I was having, and we started arguing (while I was driving), I argued on the way into the house and it was a really serious conversation (a fight about my mother)... So I wasn't even thinking about texting...
During the fight, she texted me that she felt like my EX, and then questioned if I was out with someone else, or if I was ignoring her, and said she'd rather know the truth now... Like I was out doing something? and then she said she was trying to be patient with me, and that maybe I need a different girl who doesn't care as much.
(I responded 5 minutes later to the last text, and texted her 6 times before giving up and trying to called twice, which she didn't answer)
She has yet to text me this morning, or last night or call.
Was I in the wrong? Did I do something wrong? I think she's being ridiculous. Am I wrong to think that? Like, I've had this problem with girls, and I'm notorious for being.... I mean, I don't cheat, but sometimes I like to hang out with my friends, but this wasn't that, and I haven't done that with her, and I don't plan to do that... This was nothing compared to what I've done to EXes and to be honest, I didn't really even do anything to my exes and I just was spending time with friends.... In any case.
I need thoughts and advice, because if this keeps happening, we probably won't work. Is it normal for INFJs to act like this? for just spending a night out? I was with family!
First, some back story... We met in college, she graduated in May, I live in Houston, she lives in Dallas. She's visited me once, And I've visited her once, every is fine and I'm more in love with her than I have been with anyone, and I feel she loves me too.
Okay, this summer, I've been spending most of it at home, but it started to get to me, and I was getting depressed-ish (I'm an ENTP). My INFJ girlfriend can refill me, but I still need to extrovert once in a while. So my brother asked me to come swimming with him, So I did, and I ended up spending the night. I talked to her, that night, for like an hour before bed, and the next day, was Sunday, and my step mom was cooking for my uncles birthday, So I went to the party, and was drinking the whole time, and having a good time, and left late again, and called her late. And then the last day I went to a poker tournament, and had a lot of fun, and came home late again (btw I texted her all day for the most part, nothing really in depth, just kind of the check-in and let her know what I was doing).
All of these days seemed fine, and she seemed to be happy, she didn't say anything to me, except for on the last day, she got really angry and cold with me, and acted like I had cheated on her or something. I told her I wasn't, but she stayed mad at the the entire next day, and questioned whether she was going to come for our planned visit that we had planned next week, and whether we're really meant to be together. This is something I don't understand at all, I didn't do anything wrong? I just needed to talk to people I was going crazy! So, she decided to forgive and forget, I told her what I did all those days, which I did every night anyways, and tried to calm her.
So last night, my mom invited me and my 2 brothers, and other family members to her house to celebrate her birthday, we cooked, and ate, and at 11:30 I texted her and told her I was playing monopoly, and having a few drinks with my family, She immediately texted me and told me to have fun and goodnight! which was WAY early for her, and she didn't tell me that she loved me... I didn't notice that she said goodnight so I texted her last night at 12:30 and was trying to figure out if she was still awake, after a few text I gave up, told her goodnight and that I loved her, and she texted me 30 minutes later saying goodnight....
I texted back, asked her what she was doing, and she said nothing, and then asked me if I was home, and I said I was driving home (which I was) (1:30 am at this point). My brother was in the car, so I talked to him about some issues I was having, and we started arguing (while I was driving), I argued on the way into the house and it was a really serious conversation (a fight about my mother)... So I wasn't even thinking about texting...
During the fight, she texted me that she felt like my EX, and then questioned if I was out with someone else, or if I was ignoring her, and said she'd rather know the truth now... Like I was out doing something? and then she said she was trying to be patient with me, and that maybe I need a different girl who doesn't care as much.
(I responded 5 minutes later to the last text, and texted her 6 times before giving up and trying to called twice, which she didn't answer)
She has yet to text me this morning, or last night or call.
Was I in the wrong? Did I do something wrong? I think she's being ridiculous. Am I wrong to think that? Like, I've had this problem with girls, and I'm notorious for being.... I mean, I don't cheat, but sometimes I like to hang out with my friends, but this wasn't that, and I haven't done that with her, and I don't plan to do that... This was nothing compared to what I've done to EXes and to be honest, I didn't really even do anything to my exes and I just was spending time with friends.... In any case.
I need thoughts and advice, because if this keeps happening, we probably won't work. Is it normal for INFJs to act like this? for just spending a night out? I was with family!