Hoarding
- Thread starter Nixie
- Start date
I don't really have a problem with this personally, but I can relate a bit to those who do. There are some things I have from childhood that I would never ever give or throw away, such as a letter from my best friend at the time when I was in 4th grade and had to move away. Even just thinking of it brings tears to my eyes sometimes. The letter gets moved around amongst my things but whenever I find it again, it brings a smile to my face and a memory of a time in my life that I loved so very much. If I ever found out that letter disappeared forever, I would probably bawl my eyes out.
But just every day things like old clothes or dishes or whatever...I don't seem to have any sort of emotional attachment to them unless they were a gift or a token of a specific event.
I find it very freeing to give away huge bags of clothes or other re-usables to thrift stores and clear space away for fresh new things. It's almost like it symbolizes a weight being lifted. I don't think it is healthy to be overly attached to material things, and is probably a healthy exercise to rid yourself of them from time to time as needed.
But just every day things like old clothes or dishes or whatever...I don't seem to have any sort of emotional attachment to them unless they were a gift or a token of a specific event.
I find it very freeing to give away huge bags of clothes or other re-usables to thrift stores and clear space away for fresh new things. It's almost like it symbolizes a weight being lifted. I don't think it is healthy to be overly attached to material things, and is probably a healthy exercise to rid yourself of them from time to time as needed.
I keep items of sediment to a minimum. I do my best to go through belongings once or twice a year ... purging unimportant items. Having kids makes it easy to stay on top of everything....b/c they are growing out of clothes and toys. I don't have the room for all their stuff. 
Hoarding can also mean collecting an unnecessary amount of items or saving things. I think for hoarders, everything takes on some type of value and an emotional attachment occurs.
My grandmother used to carefully use a razor and cut away wrapping paper with the idea that it could be re-used. She had many such traits from living through the Great Depression.
I wouldn't say she was a hoarder but she had hoarding tendencies.
My sister's ex-husband is a hoarder. One summer I got sick of holding onto all his junk, he had been gone from the house for about 2 years, and I just started throwing stuff out. I filled our trash can every week and then some for 3 months and put a good sized dent in the crap. When I have the time, I go through stuff that still lingers and throw away or donate. I have a shed that is only partially full but has crap that hasn't been touched in like 5 years that needs to be thrown out. I have one bedroom that has stuff that still needs to be gone through--about 1/2 a room.
As I was cleaning our house, when my sister was sick, I took down a bunch of shelving and stuff he put up in the house. I was surprised at how open the house felt. He had built himself a cubby area in the house and when he left, I threw out about 10 32 gallons garbage cans of papers and trash. He had built an "office" in the dining area and put up fake walls with bookcases and stuff. He would drink a soda and throw the empty bottle behind his chair. He didn't care if it filled up with garbage or not. I still have a glass showcase on my porch that I keep trying to get rid of but nobody wants--he keeps saying periodically that he will come get it.
It was awful. I can see how things could get out of control in a house if there wasn't someone around with the determination to keep the house clean. My sister and I always had to work hard to keep the house less cluttered when he was around. After he got the boot, his other houses were awful. He lived in filth and garbage and clutter. He let his dog shit wherever and didn't pick it up. A puppy died under his bed that he didn't find for awhile. At one trailer he pitched a tent in the vacant lot for the overflow from his house. At one place he had so much stuff on his bed he had to sleep in a chair. It was unbelievable.
My grandmother used to carefully use a razor and cut away wrapping paper with the idea that it could be re-used. She had many such traits from living through the Great Depression.
I wouldn't say she was a hoarder but she had hoarding tendencies.
My sister's ex-husband is a hoarder. One summer I got sick of holding onto all his junk, he had been gone from the house for about 2 years, and I just started throwing stuff out. I filled our trash can every week and then some for 3 months and put a good sized dent in the crap. When I have the time, I go through stuff that still lingers and throw away or donate. I have a shed that is only partially full but has crap that hasn't been touched in like 5 years that needs to be thrown out. I have one bedroom that has stuff that still needs to be gone through--about 1/2 a room.
As I was cleaning our house, when my sister was sick, I took down a bunch of shelving and stuff he put up in the house. I was surprised at how open the house felt. He had built himself a cubby area in the house and when he left, I threw out about 10 32 gallons garbage cans of papers and trash. He had built an "office" in the dining area and put up fake walls with bookcases and stuff. He would drink a soda and throw the empty bottle behind his chair. He didn't care if it filled up with garbage or not. I still have a glass showcase on my porch that I keep trying to get rid of but nobody wants--he keeps saying periodically that he will come get it.
It was awful. I can see how things could get out of control in a house if there wasn't someone around with the determination to keep the house clean. My sister and I always had to work hard to keep the house less cluttered when he was around. After he got the boot, his other houses were awful. He lived in filth and garbage and clutter. He let his dog shit wherever and didn't pick it up. A puppy died under his bed that he didn't find for awhile. At one trailer he pitched a tent in the vacant lot for the overflow from his house. At one place he had so much stuff on his bed he had to sleep in a chair. It was unbelievable.
See...clutter to a degree, I find acceptable. We are human and sometimes lazy, I get that. But, dog shit everywhere? Not noticing a dead puppy under the bed?
...These are the hoarder things that I absolutely cannot relate to at all.
My husband had a friend in the last town we lived in and also let his dog shit where ever. There would be shit and/or piss on the floor, or on the couch even and he would just sit there playing his XBox. I can be damn lazy but that kind of stuff, man...that is just fucked up. Of course he is also the kind of person who let his unfixed cat and dog roam free outdoors to do what they would, and of course they came back knocked up. Another topic entirely I know, but OMG irresponsible pet owners. I can't even.... It seriously makes me wanna jump up and down and rant and rave and be generally insane and scary.
edit- Also, in regards to wondering if MBTI might have a correlation...in some cases maybe. But I think all types, if they are in an unhealthy state, could fall into this sort of behavior.
...These are the hoarder things that I absolutely cannot relate to at all.
My husband had a friend in the last town we lived in and also let his dog shit where ever. There would be shit and/or piss on the floor, or on the couch even and he would just sit there playing his XBox. I can be damn lazy but that kind of stuff, man...that is just fucked up. Of course he is also the kind of person who let his unfixed cat and dog roam free outdoors to do what they would, and of course they came back knocked up. Another topic entirely I know, but OMG irresponsible pet owners. I can't even.... It seriously makes me wanna jump up and down and rant and rave and be generally insane and scary.
edit- Also, in regards to wondering if MBTI might have a correlation...in some cases maybe. But I think all types, if they are in an unhealthy state, could fall into this sort of behavior.
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My mom was a hoarder and it was absolutely terrible growing up with her. She also hoarded pets, which I had to take care of and I don't much like pets in the first place, except cats.
In my adult years I've cleaned and organized her house a few times. Last time, after I temporarily moved in after a breakup, it took me a whole month of 8 hour days and she kept calling me teary eyed for months afterwards how I'd thrown away this or that. ...and without me constantly clearing it the clutter and dirt comes back in a few weeks. It's just so sad. I feel that she actually identifies with some of the "trash", like broken handbags and when you throw it out she takes it as a personal insult, like she's defective and you'd throw her out if you could. I've just given up. If she ever asks for help I will but otherwise never again.
It depends on what it is for me, I hoard books for example, and music. I don't really hoard "junk" but I do keep collections of things. and there are some odd things I have collections of, for example I have stolen many a king of hearts from decks of playing cards (I have a stack of them), it always seemed so brilliant to me the king of hearts, I saw it as a king over the hearts of others. On that note though I actually do have some form of OCD or OCPD depending on who's doing the diagnosing.
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I easily get attached to material objects because I associate them with a particular time and place, yet the clutter and lack of space drives me to throw most of them out every now and then. I still hang on to the best ones. I bought a kindle recently and have been having a blast with it, if I could afford it I'd stockpile a whole bunch of them.
My aunt is a hoarder. In their 3 rm basement the piles reach almost to the ceiling, and there is only a path big enough to walk through. The upstairs of the house is pretty bad, too. She controls her husband, and kids to the point that they have limited use of their rooms. She hasn't given any of the kid's stuff away since they were born. Her oldest is 22. She has saved all her t.v. guides, and dresses from the eighties. My Uncle barely has a place to sleep in their bed. She sleeps on the couch, and uses her side of the bed to store clutter. Her boys can't get to their closet, or play in their room, because she keeps their clothes piled in their floor covering their dressers, and the doors to their closet. Their bathrooms are covered in layers of dust, and urine. Their playroom/computer room is full of their old baby toys/games/books. They aren't allowed to move or touch anything. Their kitchen table is covered, and no one is allowed in the kitchen. Only she makes their plates, and doles out small portions of food. The dining room table only has room foor their plates around the edge. The living room barely has room to sit. She keeps every piece of mail, and newspaper. The refrigerator is covered with every magnet, and drawing her kids ever made.
I used to go over & clean for her, and try to help her purge, but she would go through every trash pile I made, and barely get rid of anything. She sits at the computer on facebook all day, won't work, and won't clean. She barely allows the boys to have anyone over, and I am not allowed to bring anyone over to the house to meet them. My uncle has filled dumpsters with stuff, and she makes a scene, and climbs in after stuff. He is so embarrassed, but he gave up fighting her. He's just hanging in there for the kids. It's a bad situation for all involved.
I used to go over & clean for her, and try to help her purge, but she would go through every trash pile I made, and barely get rid of anything. She sits at the computer on facebook all day, won't work, and won't clean. She barely allows the boys to have anyone over, and I am not allowed to bring anyone over to the house to meet them. My uncle has filled dumpsters with stuff, and she makes a scene, and climbs in after stuff. He is so embarrassed, but he gave up fighting her. He's just hanging in there for the kids. It's a bad situation for all involved.
My sister's ex used to pick stuff up that people left by the side of the road. To be honest, there were a few pretty decent things--even a ceiling fan brand new in the box. We live near a college town though and the students will put all their stuff outside a lot of the times when they leave town because they graduate and stuff. Heck, I bet some of them even do it every year just because they don't want to haul it.
But picking up useless trash and keeping a lot of stuff in general could be considered hoarding tendencies. On the shows I watch, they give them a hoarding level between 1 to 5 with 5 being the worst. So someone can be at like a 1 level and not be too bad but have some of the tendencies and a moderate amount of clutter maybe?? I haven't studied it extensively to let you know for sure.
^^ I do too! I'm almost against self-storage facilities on principle, though.
I am interested in feng shui, and although I think a lot of it is hooey -- especially the parts that tell you if you buy an ugly 3-legged frog and put it in some corner of your house, then you will get rich -- still, I definitely believe that the general idea in feng shui that our surroundings and our stuff both reflect and influence our emotional state is spot-on. It is subconcious, however. There's energy to it.
I am not sure what the energy in hoarding is, but I suspect it is like trying desperately to fill some emotional need. Or if it is not some need, then it is simply negligence -- not caring enough about yourself and your surroundings? Maybe. In the same way someone who is very ill cannot care for themselves. If a person doesn't notice dog poo and dead puppies in their house that is a sign of some big illness. I think. Keeping things for sentimental reasons is totally uderstandable; I do that sometimes.
I also find it nearly impossible to use things someone has given me if I don't like that person for some reason. I give those things away.
I do think it is fascinating.
P.S. no offense to anyone who actually owns a 3-legged frog.
I am interested in feng shui, and although I think a lot of it is hooey -- especially the parts that tell you if you buy an ugly 3-legged frog and put it in some corner of your house, then you will get rich -- still, I definitely believe that the general idea in feng shui that our surroundings and our stuff both reflect and influence our emotional state is spot-on. It is subconcious, however. There's energy to it.
I am not sure what the energy in hoarding is, but I suspect it is like trying desperately to fill some emotional need. Or if it is not some need, then it is simply negligence -- not caring enough about yourself and your surroundings? Maybe. In the same way someone who is very ill cannot care for themselves. If a person doesn't notice dog poo and dead puppies in their house that is a sign of some big illness. I think. Keeping things for sentimental reasons is totally uderstandable; I do that sometimes.
I also find it nearly impossible to use things someone has given me if I don't like that person for some reason. I give those things away.
I do think it is fascinating.
P.S. no offense to anyone who actually owns a 3-legged frog.
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I'm not a hoarder; hoarders have a compulsion to collect stuff. But I am a clutterer. I'm "organizationally challenged." My niece nailed it on the head when she said that perfectionists were the hardest clutterers to help because we were so all or nothing. She said she would spend three hours organizing one drawer while the rest of her house remained a distaster--she was talking about herself, but she was also describing me to a T.
I've put myself on a self-styled 12-step program. I have morning activities, afternoon enrichment, and evening play. If I finish my activities early I can have additional play time. But for example, I must spend 1/2 hour either working in the garden or sewing every morning AND NO MORE. That last part trains me to budget my time, so that I don't get ovedwhelmed by my own perfectionism (like spending 6 hours pulling weeds and still being unhappy).
I've put myself on a self-styled 12-step program. I have morning activities, afternoon enrichment, and evening play. If I finish my activities early I can have additional play time. But for example, I must spend 1/2 hour either working in the garden or sewing every morning AND NO MORE. That last part trains me to budget my time, so that I don't get ovedwhelmed by my own perfectionism (like spending 6 hours pulling weeds and still being unhappy).
Aside from tons of books and music, my personal space is spartan. I could see myself collecting/saving both if I felt they would help someone further down the road, especially if I were to have children. Everything else, except clothing, means very little and most of it gets donated after a few years.
Hoarding seems like a crippling defensive mechanism. I imagine it could happen to anyone, especially the psychologically unwell, under black clouds.
Hoarding seems like a crippling defensive mechanism. I imagine it could happen to anyone, especially the psychologically unwell, under black clouds.
i am morbidly fascinated by hoarders.
i don't save or keep things beyond their usefulness, and i mean true usefulness, not 'well maybe it will come in handy someday' type of usefulness.
no i don't think it involves mbti in any way. i think it's a pychological/mental disorder that can affect anyone.
I'm also fascinated with hoarders...especially the tv show on A&E. It just floors me that people live in such absolute filth. My own house is never anywhere near pristine, we have clutter everywhere...but that tends to happen in a tiny 2 bedroom house with 4 people, 3 of which are kids. I draw the line at filth and trash though. I can't deal with it and I can't believe some people are so disgusting that they would allow their animals to crap all over the place and not clean it up. At the same time though, I do feel sorry for them. I know it's a mental disorder. My grandmother is what I would consider a level 1 hoarder. She keeps it all very well organized and out of site. She has one room in the basement full of canned and non-perishable food, and one room upstairs filled with other various junk. She's the type where unless you were family or very close friends, you would never know. The rest of the house is very clean and organized. She grew up during the depression though, and was very poor growing up, so I can see where it all stems from.
yes i've watched the show several times
it's unbelievable what these people surround themselves with.
i know what you mean about three kids in a tiny place - my daughter and her three kids share a small apartment and that place is trashed every day!
if she didn't keep after it they'd all get buried under it in no time lol