- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 954 so/sx
You know
I do not
You know
I hate myself a lot. Like for years the main words repeatedly going round my head are 'i hate myself, i hate myself', 'stay away from people', 'im sorry'. I know loads of people dont like themselves/hate themselves, but do any of you feel it really strongly?
Every time I socialise, I can't help but go out when the plan is easy - fomo? - and i also cant help but talk usually, I sound confident probably, I sound like I like myself probably. Then the second I walk away this shitting dread comes along, 'fuck, fuck, what have you done, why did you talk again? why cant you just keep quiet? you worded things the wrong way, you talked about the wrong things, you must've been annoying people, get over yourself, i hate myself, i hate myself' - and that's every day of my life.
I know others must feel the same way, I just never get to talk to people who feel it as strongly as me, I guess its personal and/or people might be too nervous to talk about something like that. I think the purpose of this post is to try to start a conversation, people who feel this way might need it too. Why do we feel it this strongly? Are we as bad as we think we are? Why do you think you hate yourself so much? Is it obvious to you? Why do you think other people don't hate themselves as much? Is there any way to run away from this feeling? I'm tired.
I do not hate myself constantly, however sometimes I do reproach myself when I disappoint myself, and that happens when I behave in a way that isn't in line with who I am.
Also, there were times where I was unkind to myself because it was the only way I saw at the time to justify the pain or hurt I was going through, and give meaning to the injury I suffered from someone I was vulnerable with at the time. The important thing for me was being able to move past it, and it is a lot of hard work.
@HelloItsMe would you say that your hate for self stems from feelings of regret when you walk away from a social settings? Does it make it better when someone other than yourself confirms to you that you did all the right things in that situation?
Did you find yourself going backwards at times? There was a period of time about 3 years ago where I had some realisation and everyones place in the world and how important everyones unique qualities were. The main realisation was probably regarding me, I had always appreciated others but at that point I suddenly thought, damn, I, >> I! << have a place, I make things happen, there are good things I make happen, I can do things some people can't. It might have been when I learnt more about MBTI. I feel like I've lost that now. I don't know where that sense of purpose went or why.I hated myself and my life growing up due to many frustrations. I had no grasp on what my purpose was.
As an adult I find that eliminating as much stress as possible is very helpful. Also I try to avoid using the word hate. Negativity breeds negative thoughts and outcomes.
@infinite dreams @Asa
:heartu:
Not all the time but more than what's probably considered healthy. I'm just so over my own BS that at this point of my life I wish somebody could see through and call me out on it because obviously I am not an effective critic of myself.
THANK YOU FOR CHANGING MY LIFEStop with all your bullshit. You're perfectly imperfect.
THANK YOU FOR CHANGING MY LIFE
I hate myself a lot. Like for years the main words repeatedly going round my head are 'i hate myself, i hate myself', 'stay away from people', 'im sorry'. I know loads of people dont like themselves/hate themselves, but do any of you feel it really strongly?
Every time I socialise, I can't help but go out when the plan is easy - fomo? - and i also cant help but talk usually, I sound confident probably, I sound like I like myself probably. Then the second I walk away this shitting dread comes along, 'fuck, fuck, what have you done, why did you talk again? why cant you just keep quiet? you worded things the wrong way, you talked about the wrong things, you must've been annoying people, get over yourself, i hate myself, i hate myself' - and that's every day of my life.
I know others must feel the same way, I just never get to talk to people who feel it as strongly as me, I guess its personal and/or people might be too nervous to talk about something like that. I think the purpose of this post is to try to start a conversation, people who feel this way might need it too. Why do we feel it this strongly? Are we as bad as we think we are? Why do you think you hate yourself so much? Is it obvious to you? Why do you think other people don't hate themselves as much? Is there any way to run away from this feeling? I'm tired.
Yeah I share this tendency. I'm not sure where it stems from, but it's like a mix of being overly critical of things that can't be changed, and too focused on external validation. It's something I battle on a daily basis, like ruminating on some stupid thing I said years ago or obsessively replaying some interaction in my head for the millionth time.
I'm not talking about hating being alive at all, just myself. Did you ever feel differently? At times when I've had a big break, like a 2 week holiday where I'm not even socialising with my best friends much, I am able to feel the way you do. But the moment I get back to people the same thoughts come back. It's so hard to work out what is my problem and what isn't. I know it's not others problem, so that leaves me.
That's really great. What did you need to do? At the moment I feel like the only way I wont have as much of these thoughts is if I build a life where I can stay away from people forever- which is giving into the thoughts, not getting rid of them.