I'm kind of still in that cynical phase a bit. It's so weird to have people care about you just because you look different. I tend to think that better looking people get farther in life and things like that, at times, and then I remember that "Better" looking is personal and things like that. Still, it's kind of heartbreaking to think that if I was heavier, people who love me would not even want to know me even though I'm the same person. I see. I haven't read your blog (I will now) so I do not know of what competition you speak of. It scares me to think that some of my friends might leave or stop being "seen" with me if I put the weight back on again.
Haha. Makes sense. I went through a phase were I would seek looks and things like that but I never really had to deal with cat calling or touching. I'm an INTJ and 6'3 so I can intimidate people pretty easily. People in general don't get that. It's like if they express their affection for you, you have to care. It's really weird.
So, random question, what does your name mean and/or why did you pick it?