Would you date a bodybuilder? | INFJ Forum

Would you date a bodybuilder?

CindyLou

Get over it
Nov 16, 2011
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I met a guy and he's been bodybuilding for 20 years. I don't know about it. I know a lot of people who attempted a fitness lifestyle, but not for 20 years. 20 years being that focused on yourself and your appearance seems so obnoxious. He seems fine otherwise, but if he makes a comment on my body not being perfect he's gone.

Just curious if any of you would even bother to try? I'm very routine so I tend to attract the fitness freaks. I've never dated one that had been into it for so long though. I figure most people grow out of that stuff. Idk. Can't sleep tonight.
 
If I were still on the dating scene...honestly I dunno. I don't think so, but not because I have anything wrong with that life style choice, but just because it would likely not jive at all with the kind of life style that I have. It'd be really unlikely we'd be attracted to each other in the first place.

But, if you are into each other, and the body building remains a personal thing and he doesn't try to project his own physical ideals onto you, I don't see why not try it out.
 
Yeah, I think I'm going to give it a go. Its weird though. He does lots of cardio and has to eat every two hours. Its very important to him. It seems such a silly thing to waste 20 years doing, and I can't help but be a little bothered by that. I don't know how long this one is going to last. We talk though, we have great conversations and I have a great time with him. He is very interesting. I like being healthy but that is the extent of my fitness. I do enjoy working out, but only so I don't fall apart.

I wish he'd see that I like his inner man, though. Not really even attracted to that look. I don't think he does it to "get" women though. He does it for himself, so idk.
 
Its making me insecure a little too. I just ate a handful of crackers...before bed. A huge no no. And now I'm feeling guilt. GUILT! Over crackers. I didn't even do anything morally wrong. But, knowing he could guess my bodyfat percentage seeing me with little clothing makes me feel weird. I don't knooooow. These are not things I like to think about. They are a waste.

I hate dating.
 
I say try it out and see how you like him as a person. You might find him really great after all. :) Be sure to ask about some of his habits and attitudes more in detail though and what his expectations for you would be. I don't know how much time you would want to spend with him, but I would imagine that all that time spent working out would mean not as much time being spent with you.
 
Honestly no I wouldn't. Granted I"m a guy so my prospective a bit different. But i can tell right away that our life style wouldn't mix well. I"m not nearly active enough to keep up with someone who is pretty much a full time athlete.
 
seems like it is as much about discipline and self control as it is about vanity.
 
I find that fitness fanatics are much more worried about themselves than you. However they will comment if they think you are not making any effort to stay healthy.
 
I would totally date myself.
 
I guess I'm having a hard time understanding how wanting to be at
one's best is obnoxious.


If we were compatible I would date him, yes.


I plan on running into my eighties. I do not think this
makes me obnoxious. And yes, I do plan that far ahead.
 
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Its more than just cardio. Its an hour of cardio twice a day plus six days weight training, cooking meals every two hours, getting up in the middle of the night for protein shakes. Steroids etc. There is way more involved than just being physically fit. I workout six days a week and wouldn't consider what he does as "being at one's best".

If we went to a movie he would have to bring food to eat. He can't go longer than two hours w/o food w/o anxiety. See what I'm getting at?
 
Its more than just cardio. Its an hour of cardio twice a day plus six days weight training, cooking meals every two hours, getting up in the middle of the night for protein shakes. Steroids etc. There is way more involved than just being physically fit. I workout six days a week and wouldn't consider what he does as "being at one's best".

If we went to a movie he would have to bring food to eat. He can't go longer than two hours w/o food w/o anxiety. See what I'm getting at?

Okay... that's a little extreme. That definitely borders on unhealthy.

I couldn't be with someone like that because I would eventually want
to have children and I would want my children to have their father
in their lives rather than in the gym and in the kitchen.

I also don't understand how he has a job unless he works at the gym.
Another thing I'm confused on is how he builds muscles when he's
doing so much cardio. They're counter-productive. Does he know this?
 
Steroids etc.

Do you plan on having sex and/or wanting to date someone without a long list of health problems? If so, I'd skip this dude because steroids are about one of the worst things you can put in yourself.

Also, tell him that whole "eating every two hours" thing is pure bullshit mythology created by supplement companies.
 
If he's so obnoxious then why are you with him?
 
Okay... that's a little extreme. That definitely borders on unhealthy.

I couldn't be with someone like that because I would eventually want
to have children and I would want my children to have their father
in their lives rather than in the gym and in the kitchen.

I also don't understand how he has a job unless he works at the gym.
Another thing I'm confused on is how he builds muscles when he's
doing so much cardio. They're counter-productive. Does he know this?

Yeah and [MENTION=1425]Korg[/MENTION]

I tried to say some things to him but he told me he's been doing this for 20 years and he knows what he's doing. I don't know. Lol. He is a teacher, he has summers off and he says he spends the entire summer training and eating. Lol. Looks like he's fine during and normal during the school year.

[MENTION=731]uberrogo[/MENTION] we just started dating. He personally is not obnoxious. I'm not even sure if bodybuilding for 20 years is really obnoxious, but the idea of doing it for 20 years and never growing out of it seems obnoxious to me. Its a strange hobby, that's all but I don't want to be too judgmental yet, just curious what others thought or if I was being self-righteous. I'm just starting out, I don't know that much about him yet. I've never really dated someone like this before.
 
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Yeah and @Korg

I tried to say some things to him but he told me he's been doing this for 20 years and he knows what he's doing. I don't know. Lol. He is a teacher, he has summers off and he says he spends the entire summer training and eating. Lol. Looks like he's fine during and normal during the school year.

@uberrogo we just started dating. He personally is not obnoxious. I'm not even sure if bodybuilding for 20 years is really obnoxious, but the idea of doing it for 20 years and never growing out of it seems obnoxious to me. Its a strange hobby, that's all but I don't want to be too judgmental yet, just curious what others thought or if I was being self-righteous. I'm just starting out, I don't know that much about him yet. I've never really dated someone like this before.

Is he the kind of body builder that makes money off of winning contests for how defined he is? Does he lift in competitions? Or does he just look at himself in a mirror due to the boredom of down time in summer?
 
The steroid use alone would turn me off 100%.
 
The steroid use alone would turn me off 100%.

Yes. Why does he feel this is necessary, with all the other work he puts in? What does he truly get out of his habits, if he includes the use of steroids? I would understand fitness leading to health, but using steroids would imply that he is more concerned with the end result of an external appearance of health and fitness... not actual health.

It doesn't make sense to me, and makes me wonder what truly drives him to do all this.
 
he cares about his strict, bullshit regimen more than he'll ever care about you, enough said.
 
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Yes. Why does he feel this is necessary, with all the other work he puts in? What does he truly get out of his habits, if he includes the use of steroids? I would understand fitness leading to health, but using steroids would imply that he is more concerned with the end result of an external appearance of health and fitness... not actual health.

It doesn't make sense to me, and makes me wonder what truly drives him to do all this.

Indeed.

Thank you all for the responses. I wasn't sure if I was being judgmental and self-righteous or seeing things clearly for what they are.