Why do we value love/relationships so much? | INFJ Forum

Why do we value love/relationships so much?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Gaze, Aug 3, 2010.

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  1. Gaze

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    Why do we value love/relationships so much?




    What do we get out of it, that we wouldn't being on our own?


    Is it just a want, a real need, a silly desire?


    What do you learn from love/being in love?
     
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    #1 Gaze, Aug 3, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2010
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  2. Grey Wolf

    Grey Wolf Airborne all the way!

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  3. Roger

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    1. Relationships are the base for our life. If you don't have them, then you'll feel lonely. Human-being's natural need.

    I can't understand second que. Sorry. Please, explain me.

    3. For me, i want relationships. From heart i really need it. I don't think it should be willy desire. If one has willy desire, i doubt it may turn to desperation. So no to it.

    4&5. From experience you can only learn and with love you can do both. Learning and increase your love. :)
     
  4. IndigoSensor

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    We value relationships and love so much because our brains make us want them beyond our logical control.
     
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  5. OP
    Gaze

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    It's ok. Your answer was great.
     
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  6. CrowingOne

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    Further, it is often our "default" means of approaching relationships with others to go deeply very quickly (that's what she said).

    As someone who can count the number of months I've spent "single" in the last 13 years on one hand, it is a constant that is necessary for my own self-preservation. Having someone else there is necessary.
     
  7. athenian200

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    Personally, I don't.

    Security, the feeling that someone cares. Not having to worry about being alone. That's what I guess.

    It's probably instinctive for most people, due to their unconscious desire to reproduce and feel a greater sense of security.

    I don't know, I've never had it.
    I've never been in love, so I wouldn't know.
     
    #7 athenian200, Aug 3, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2010
  8. OP
    Gaze

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    I really can't say myself why. But it's one of those things which is so unique, complex, frustrating, and amazing all at once.

    And i've never been truly in love either, and i don't expect to be. I may be "in like" with someone, but i haven't had the pleasure of experiencing love. I think the word gets thrown around too often and is used to mean the most superficial of things.
     
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    #8 Gaze, Aug 3, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2010
  9. ~jet

    ~jet Director of Space Exploration

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    We're built that way; we seem to want only a relationships, but for them to be high-quality ones. I tend also to believe this scares other personality types to varying degrees... which, in turn, scares us away from scaring them away... which in turn isolates us... which in turn makes us want the bonds all the more. Make this a vicious cycle, regardless of how innocent the motivations may be in the beginning.

    I notice that when I am around someone whose bond I particularly value, I am more alive, whereas alone I am more reserved, less communicative, less energized and less ambitious. I see a distinction between this and RELYING on another person, since I really don't want/need more than their companionship and appreciation... I'm self reliant in every other way.

    I tend to think it is a need, as is the case with all people;

    I think I may have already addressed this. I'm simply happier around people whom I want to have a relationship with (be it friend, lover, etc.) And that happiness has a direct impact on my energy for life and all the work life entails.

    Seemingly not enough since I still struggle with this even at my age.
     
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