Can anyone relate to this? Although the article focuses on women, this is open to everyone.
Why are people attracted to sad partners?
- Thread starter Gaze
- Start date
Rescue Syndrome.
Empaths like to make people feel good because then "they" can feel good in their company. A person who is willing to feel their sadness is usually also empathic. And it CAN make for a good relationship.
On the other hand people who are aggressive, competitive, and angry are rarely sad and usually don't "Do Feelings"....except perhaps anger...and the Rescuers don't have any connections with them.
So I'd guess it has to do with the ability to Feel one's emotions....for both.
Empaths like to make people feel good because then "they" can feel good in their company. A person who is willing to feel their sadness is usually also empathic. And it CAN make for a good relationship.
On the other hand people who are aggressive, competitive, and angry are rarely sad and usually don't "Do Feelings"....except perhaps anger...and the Rescuers don't have any connections with them.
So I'd guess it has to do with the ability to Feel one's emotions....for both.
because most people are low energy, and men would subconsciously pick the low hanging fruit
I'm not, at least not superficially. Rude, ok, but I like people who have an outwardly careless and funny demeanour, even if they are not on the inside. Wow, I just noticed I must be really broken to like someone like that, because they had to be suppressing their emotions and therefore unlikely to be able to deal with them easily. I guess that would fall into the same category as the Rescue Syndrome, right?
Ya, sry, overread that. Still, if it does fall into the same category, then we all have the same problem.
Girls are are typically privileged with more choice, so their aspirations are higher.
Depends on the context. Not to be a negative nancy, however, some people are parasitic and/or predatory. This person will gravitate toward sadness with the agenda of using the sad person in some way to gain an advantage of some kind.
Though there are honest people looking to offer a hand up to the sad person. In an effort to provide empathy and compassion to their plight.
There are also sad persons that use their sadness to manipulate another to gain an advantage as well.
So, contextually, it would boil down to intent...
Though there are honest people looking to offer a hand up to the sad person. In an effort to provide empathy and compassion to their plight.
There are also sad persons that use their sadness to manipulate another to gain an advantage as well.
So, contextually, it would boil down to intent...
This is what I was thinking, too..Depends on the context. Not to be a negative nancy, however, some people are parasitic and/or predatory. This person will gravitate toward sadness with the agenda of using the sad person in some way to gain an advantage of some kind.
Though there are honest people looking to offer a hand up to the sad person. In an effort to provide empathy and compassion to their plight.
There are also sad persons that use their sadness to manipulate another to gain an advantage as well.
So, contextually, it would boil down to intent...
Parasitic people are attracted to sad people.
I think someone can be attracted to a partner *despite* their sadness, and then offer support.
Happy Phantom
Well-known member
I'd say it repels people rather than attracts, in my honest opinion. The rare ones who are attracted to my sad lonely girl demeanor have impure intentions, and not just sexually. They want a broken doll to play with, but even they get tired from playing with sharp edges that cut rather than give them a good time. My spouse doesn't believe that I am depressed, despite my professional diagnosis over the years of going to various therapists and counselors. All of my previous lovers, the ones I didn't even have sex with, but had a romantic connection with, had something seriously wrong with their empathetic meters. It's all broken or out of use.
This was a nice read. Ultimately, I think I'll die alone and never knowing what true acceptance will feel like in spite of my disorder.
This was a nice read. Ultimately, I think I'll die alone and never knowing what true acceptance will feel like in spite of my disorder.
Sorry for derailing, @Gaze
I agree. The context matters.
Sometimes I think it just brings out a person's desire to help or protect the vulnerable. A guy (consciously or subconsciously) wanting or liking the idea of someone to protect or save is also pretty common (and super Disneyesque btw).
I, along with plenty of other people, find myself attracted to sad people, though not romantically, because I want to help people who are struggling.
Depends on the context. Not to be a negative nancy, however, some people are parasitic and/or predatory. This person will gravitate toward sadness with the agenda of using the sad person in some way to gain an advantage of some kind.
Though there are honest people looking to offer a hand up to the sad person. In an effort to provide empathy and compassion to their plight.
There are also sad persons that use their sadness to manipulate another to gain an advantage as well.
So, contextually, it would boil down to intent...
I agree. The context matters.
Sometimes I think it just brings out a person's desire to help or protect the vulnerable. A guy (consciously or subconsciously) wanting or liking the idea of someone to protect or save is also pretty common (and super Disneyesque btw).
I, along with plenty of other people, find myself attracted to sad people, though not romantically, because I want to help people who are struggling.
WonkyOracle
Permanent Fixture
Oh yes, yes,Depends on the context. Not to be a negative nancy, however, some people are parasitic and/or predatory. This person will gravitate toward sadness with the agenda of using the sad person in some way to gain an advantage of some kind.
Though there are honest people looking to offer a hand up to the sad person. In an effort to provide empathy and compassion to their plight.
There are also sad persons that use their sadness to manipulate another to gain an advantage as well.
So, contextually, it would boil down to intent...
I'm sipping my morning cup of tea and making all sorts of approving noises!
Very much this, yes!
I can relate to the idea some controlling individuals may see an "opportunity" in emotionally vulnerable individuals, coming up as faux saviors. Also, I think every human being I've known deep enough (including me) has a bit of that component, as well as the possibility of being in both the controlled and controlling positions. It's hard to accept watching others fall down, regardless of empathy (and how ironically our actions reinforce others fall)
Whereas I agree there's this risk things can turn unhealthy and abusive, there's also people who have enough awareness to negotiate and keep some mutually agreed moral grounds. Also, I'd find a person who doesn't have a shred of sadness (or runs away from it) rather suspicious, in a way. I'd want to open up to somebody who knows my feelings and won't give some humiliating, patronizing or pitiful looks. It's not like I'm asking for help when I seek not to be lonely. I'd want somebody strong enough to be able to accept life's uncertainty and cruelty, as I'm willing to do the same for that person through his/her fate.
Whereas I agree there's this risk things can turn unhealthy and abusive, there's also people who have enough awareness to negotiate and keep some mutually agreed moral grounds. Also, I'd find a person who doesn't have a shred of sadness (or runs away from it) rather suspicious, in a way. I'd want to open up to somebody who knows my feelings and won't give some humiliating, patronizing or pitiful looks. It's not like I'm asking for help when I seek not to be lonely. I'd want somebody strong enough to be able to accept life's uncertainty and cruelty, as I'm willing to do the same for that person through his/her fate.