What's a fair compromise?
- Thread starter Gaze
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Balance could be opposites. Balance could be one right today and tomorrow the other. Great expectations can lead to sorrow. I think balance may be better understood as accepting each other and trying to work things out in a satisfactory way. I do not think all relationships have balance.
For some strange reason I think of blind justice.
For some strange reason I think of blind justice.
- Aug 9, 2009
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I think the most useful answer to that comes from a discussion about concerns and problems either might have. Each relationship has its own dynamic, and trying to determine a universal rule of thumb seems self-defeating.
Though I suppose I expect people to do what they want to do for me (i.e. not you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours) and to talk to me about it if they feel something's gone sour. Unless it's not very deep, in which case I expect we'd grow apart.
Though I suppose I expect people to do what they want to do for me (i.e. not you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours) and to talk to me about it if they feel something's gone sour. Unless it's not very deep, in which case I expect we'd grow apart.
I don't find this answerable without tighter context. I do not think there is an answer that is broad enough to fit all situations. Every situation needs to be evaluated in terms of the specific people involved and their specific needs. Basically I believe in mutual agreement within a relationship. In every relationship there will be conflicting needs and so those within the relationship will have to navigate the conflicts as they arise and determine what can give in each situation.
Somewhere I read a suggestion to rank conflicting options in importance to each person. For example one person wants to stay home and watch a movie for the night and the other wants to go out with friends. The person who wants to stay home ranks their desire for that option at a 9 and the one who wants to go out with friends ranks their desire at a 2. In better understanding the degree of desire/need on the part of the other, then it might be easier for the person who wanted to go out to compromise and meet the stronger desire within the couple. Obviously this requires trust in each other to provide honest expression and to not manipulate the process to their advantage, but it's perhaps a tool that could be used to articulate degree of need for that navigation of conflict process.
With the question being simplistic and non-specific...I'd have to give a simple answer.
Communicate.
Each person in the relationship should feel comfortable enough to express their needs to their partner.
And, of course, they both need to know how to listen.
Everything else stems from here.
Communicate.
Each person in the relationship should feel comfortable enough to express their needs to their partner.
And, of course, they both need to know how to listen.
Everything else stems from here.