What it meant to you to discover that you're INFJ? | INFJ Forum

What it meant to you to discover that you're INFJ?

Apr 12, 2018
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MBTI
INFJ
Hello there!
I was wondering... What it meant to you to discover your personality type? Would you describe it as a very important realisation or did it feel like something not so suprising because you've been already quite self-aware and taking the test just confirmed what you've already knew about yourself? Or maybe it doesn't matter that much (for any reason)?

Personally, I have to say that it was a really huge positive experience to discover that I am INFJ, because it gave me a sense of inner integration. I used to be not very sure how to view myself and I lacked a sense of self as a whole, feeling quite fragmented. But reading about my personality type helps me to see how all the aspect of myself are somehow related to each other, like puzzles that create a bigger picture. And it also helps me have more faith in me that maybe once I have more awareness about my strengths, weaknesses as well as prefered ways of thinking and doing things, then I can tailor a plan of personal progress to myself and become happier, more efficient and fulfilled.

I'd like to find out what it meant to you :biggrin:
 
It's been a long time and a long road since I first discovered MBTI. I had always been interested in self assessment / self learning so happening upon it was an inevitability for me, I think. At this point in my life it means somewhat less, but is still a foundation of many of my musings. More broadly though, I prefer to think in terms of cognitive functions. There is a whole world of cognitive research which I've delved into a little and it's all pretty interesting and helpful. There are many factors at play that we all dance with in our brains.

Long ago when I first discovered MBTI though, I initially didn't think much other than the descriptions were definitely me and it made sense why most everyone around me seemed to operate a bit differently. I found some comfort in that and I found it helpful to know that I was just a different sort of breed of person, which I already intuitively knew but the test gave confirmation of for me. Then I got sort of sad knowing that I was up against a world truly different from me. But not too sad cuz I'm awesome.
 
It meant a lot back then, but I have definitely no longer got time for it anymore. It means less than nothing to me now. You get this idea that INFJs want to help oppressed people and make the world a better place, maybe some do, although I haven't seen a lot of it, mostly just MRAs and laissez-faire political propaganda like everywhere else. Because INFJs can be bullies just like everyone else. They can do stuff like start secret bully rings to organise an ostracism campaign against someone they disagree with or don't like. Even more of them in positions of power who should know better just look on and watch it all happen and don't do a damn thing to stop it or tell people to cut it out. It makes me fucking sick. But it really doesn't matter to me anyway. I've always been a real individual. I realise it more as I get older.
 
It meant a lot back then, but I have definitely no longer got time for it anymore. It means less than nothing to me now. You get this idea that INFJs want to help oppressed people and make the world a better place, maybe some do, although I haven't seen a lot of it, mostly just MRAs and laissez-faire political propaganda like everywhere else. Because INFJs can be bullies just like everyone else. They can do stuff like start secret bully rings to organise an ostracism campaign against someone they disagree with or don't like. Even more of them in positions of power who should know better just look on and watch it all happen and don't do a damn thing to stop it or tell people to cut it out. It makes me fucking sick. But it really doesn't matter to me anyway. I've always been a real individual. I realise it more as I get older.

Well, my response to that would be that personality type is one thing but mental health is another. And I personally really dislike idealizing INFJs like just because someone happened to have this type, then they like walking saviours of human kind...Sooo exaggerated, really.
 
Well, my response to that would be that personality type is one thing but mental health is another. And I personally really dislike idealizing INFJs like just because someone happened to have this type, then they like walking saviours of human kind...Sooo exaggerated, really.
You replied to a passive aggressive post. That being said, I agree with most of your reply.
 
Well yeah, I admit that I got a bit confused why this kind of resentment was expressed in this thread but I didn't want to jump to the conclusion about the intention :p
No worries. :blush: The harsh reality is that people have discussions whether they are public or private, and it was a discussion that needed to be addressed. He made his point clear in said discussion so imo there was no need to whine about it in here as well.

Obviously not everyone is going to get along online or irl. If a member is constantly argumentative and disruptive it reflects on the forum. New members are likely to be turned off by such behavior and this really is a great forum so I hope you’ll stick around.
 
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No worries. :blush: The harsh reality is that people have discussions whether they are public or private, and it was a discussion that needed to be addressed. He made his point clear in said discussion so imo there was no need to whine about it in here as well.

Obviously not everyone is going to get along online or irl. If a member is constantly argumentative and disruptive it reflects on the forum. New members are likely to be turned off by such behavior and this really is a great forum so I hope you’ll stick around.

No worries, I didn't take his post personally :p I don't like this kind of negativity, but at the same time I can imagine INFJs being assholes (like... ehmm... every other type of personality can be :p) so this is why I decided to just respond without any prejudice towards him.
I really like this forum so I will definitely stick around and spam even more with my threads ;) :<3:


:extremehug:
...And meeting other INFJs is even better!
 
It helped me, my uncertainty and struggle to make enough solid decisions because of all the different possibilities that I knew could exist really contributed to me feeling a lack of sense of self, like you mentioned. I felt like if I was enough of a person then I would know what I wanted and I'd trust my thoughts more. I had very bad mental health though and that definitely contributed to that thought. I think the point MBTI reaaally helped me was with finding out which of my friends were INFJs, I hated myself so much and I still do, but I don't hate them, I love them endless amounts. I don't expect them to admire me, but I really admire them and I care for them, when they're struggling I always understand how their thought processes could have led them to feel the way they do, even if I don't agree. The way I feel about them kind of forced me to think about my own potential strong points. You wondered whether people werent surprised and were already aware of their level of self-awareness, I was, but reading about the INFJ type still helped, and guided me to think about other types and how I struggle to mix with people who never seem to think about why things are happening, people in denial, people who dont naturally care for others.
 
It helped me, my uncertainty and struggle to make enough solid decisions because of all the different possibilities that I knew could exist really contributed to me feeling a lack of sense of self, like you mentioned. I felt like if I was enough of a person then I would know what I wanted and I'd trust my thoughts more. I had very bad mental health though and that definitely contributed to that thought. I think the point MBTI reaaally helped me was with finding out which of my friends were INFJs, I hated myself so much and I still do, but I don't hate them, I love them endless amounts. I don't expect them to admire me, but I really admire them and I care for them, when they're struggling I always understand how their thought processes could have led them to feel the way they do, even if I don't agree. The way I feel about them kind of forced me to think about my own potential strong points. You wondered whether people werent surprised and were already aware of their level of self-awareness, I was, but reading about the INFJ type still helped, and guided me to think about other types and how I struggle to mix with people who never seem to think about why things are happening, people in denial, people who dont naturally care for others.

Hey you! Stop hating yourself! Right now!
:biggrinhug:

Your capacity to love your friends so much really moves me. (So please don't hate that wondering human being who has so much love and empathy for others ;) :<3:)
 
I feel fortunate because my first exposure to MBTI theory was about 10 years ago in a class, with an instructor (INFP, incidentally) who had a strong understanding of the theory and the underlying functions. First he gave us the test, then he walked through all the functions and how they related to our types in terms of stack order. While I didn't understand everything about the theory, it was a great introduction. I was hooked right away and joined my first MBTI-related discussion forum a few weeks later.

It was a corporate event; I remember being one of two INTPs in a room of about 60 people. There were 30-40 SJs (lol), maybe 10 SPs and a smattering of the remaining types.

The greatest benefit for me was gaining insight into how and why my brain worked the way it did. Up until that point I just thought I was "weird" and different and couldn't pinpoint why I often had trouble communicating my ideas to people. Well, I AM weird :tonguewink: but now at least I have a better understanding of cognitive preferences and why they matter. It's taught me to embrace my strengths and acknowledge & mitigate my weaknesses. By doing so I've overcome a lot of personal inadequacies that were holding me back.
 
My first exposure to the MBTI was a bit of a letdown. I had to take the test in my final year of highschool as part of a class that was supposed to help you figure out your future profession.
I had been taking tests in all sorts of forms for years, some of them rather badly designed, so naturally I was a bit skeptical. "Did you pick mostly A? Then you're an A person!" No shit Sherlock. :D

The test diagnosed me as INTP, and although I recognized quite some parts of myself in it, it wasn't entirely right, so I just wrote it off as the forer effect and left it at that.
I will also reluctantly admit that there was a part of me that felt the range and complexity of my being could not be so easily captured. The simpletons around me, surely, but not me. Cough. Young me was a bit of an elitist jerk. ;)

Some years later, in a particularly dark period of my life, I searched for information on the internet to help understand myself better and how to get out of this predicament, and came across the MBTI and Enneagram. This time I tested as INTJ, type 1. I read up on the some of the online profiles and bought a couple of books, and concluded an unhealthy INTJ was right because dominant intuition and inferior sensing was on point. I even joined the INTJ forums for a number of years, but never felt quite at home there. Yes, the scientific discussions were excellent, but the interactions were so devoid of warmth. The place was so sterile and clinical, much like going to the dentist.

Fast forward a few years and I found myself in yet another existential crisis. Now I was constantly testing as INFJ. (Type 2). Due to therapy, my feeling function was developing and parts of my natural personality started to (re)surface.
Eventually that lead me to joining this forum... and with the help of the lovely people here, finding out I'm actually an ENTP. That was a shock! Me, an extrovert? No way. What are you smoking, ID? Can I have some? ;)

After the initial disappointment of not being an INFJ wore off, I've grown to accept and even like myself a bit, for the first time in my life. Yes, I really am an ENTP. (7-4-9)*. It is totally on point, and explains so much. And now I don't want to be anything else. I'm still learning a great deal about myself, but I'm finally on the path of growth, awareness and development. I'm finally becoming me. :)
If that makes any sense. How can anyone become what they already are? Ha.

*Type 7 disintegrates to type 1, and type 4 to type 2, so even that fits.
 
*Type 7 disintegrates to type 1, and type 4 to type 2, so even that fits.

It's a great feeling when it all comes together and you sort of have that ah ha moment of seeing how everything connects :)
 
What are you smoking, ID? Can I have some? ;)

follow the path to e n l i g h t e n m e n t

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Eventually that lead me to joining this forum... and with the help of the lovely people here, finding out I'm actually an ENTP. That was a shock! Me, an extrovert? No way.

Yes way :p

I'm still learning a great deal about myself, but I'm finally on the path of growth, awareness and development. I'm finally becoming me. :)
If that makes any sense. How can anyone become what they already are? Ha.

nietzsche_become.png
 
To answer the OP, it actually meant quite a bit when I discovered my type. After months and months of either testing INTJ or INTP but not feeling quite satisfied with either, I encountered the theory of the cognitive functions and discovered that I used Ni rather than Ne, and Ti rather than Te. It’s only later that I came to reflect that I also used Fe quite prominently in my life, I think because I’d really gotten used to the idea that I was a T and not an F. And in a sense realising and accepting that I was a feeler meant a lot because it symbolised something more large-scale for me: embracing my real nature, realising that it was okay to not deal well with conflict, to be both highly logical and highly emotional, social and introverted, empathic yet needing to protect myself from it in order not to get burnt out, struggling to live in the moment, etc.

But perhaps more than anything, I came to realise that all these “paradoxes” in my personality were shared by other people, other human beings. And that meant an awful lot. It’s also why I’m here.
 
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Since my emotional state wasn't the best, it hasn't meant much in the beginning. But it got me interested, for the spooky accuracy of the test result. I wanted to know more, always more, doubted myself a few times in the process, only to come out even more sure of myself due to the pieces of knowledge that I found.

It explained my childhood, seeing through people, and being disappointed by "friends" from a very young age. I guess I have been searching without knowing what for, and I feel this discovery is a big part of it. On the one hand it makes me sad not to have discovered it sooner, but on the other it makes me equally somber to have proof that I am not like everyone else, despite me having been miserable telling myself time and again that I am ordinary.
The discovery was a sliver of light in the fog that was my present and future. Since then, the fog has started to clear and I am beginning to see the sky: sun, moon and stars.