What is it really like to be an introvert? | INFJ Forum

What is it really like to be an introvert?

Gaze

Donor
Sep 5, 2009
28,265
44,748
1,906
MBTI
INFPishy
How does it really feel to be an introvert? This is not a question about why we are not extroverts or how different we are from extroverts. It's more a general question about how we actually and naturally experience our introversion and it's affect on our lives everyday.
 
I like this topic, thank you [MENTION=1669]Maven[/MENTION]. For me I didn't think about until I learned introversion was which was probably about around the age of 15. I just knew that I enjoyed building lego's, drawing, thinking and using my imagination. I never felt alone or withdrawn until my two older brothers passed away and I realized that most of my social life had revolved around hanging out with them.

Now it is something that a lot of my friends enjoy about me. I am a low maintenance friend. If someone hasn't called me for a month or doesn't check in on me every single day, I am perfectly ok with that.
 
Lonely at times on the outside, but on the inside there is a party going on :) But seriously, I don't mind it really. I'm content sitting back and observing people and spending most of my time reading, drawing, thinking about life, creating and enjoying art, or trying to make my ideals become reality.
 
I enjoy my late evenings reading, watching films, messing around on the net, meditating about things I've read/seen/heard, doing little chores by myself, unwinding with the lights dimmed. I enjoy the fact that I enjoy these things alone - ie. being independent is something I am constantly grateful for - perhaps because my sources of rest, rejuvenation, and enjoyment are secure and in my control .

On occasion I like to go out socially - I have standing invitations ranging from dinner-for-two, to joining a boisterous group for a noisy evening. I like going out of my comfort zone and then coming back to it, back to my haven/getaway.

I sometimes feel a little isolated because there are many things I deal with at work that I don't have anyone I can talk to about. But I kind of also like the reserve this imposes on me.

This is all more descriptive of my introvert's lifestyle, than of my subjective experience of introversion. However, I think it illustrates the kind of enjoyment introversion gives me.
 
I spend a lot of time thinking and not a lot of time talking. I talk to people who I click with but don't say much to those I don't. I do wish I could talk small talk more, but it bores me. I am surrounded all day at work with people that I don't have anything in common with. So I look forward to leaving every day. Haha. I'm glad to be alone sometimes because I don't feel pressured to have to conversate about things that I'm either not interested in or small talk which freakin exhausts me.
I do like to do things which allows me to spectate rather than communicate if I'm not in the mood and because I am a pretty happy and content person, I can support my family and loved ones by enjoying the activities that they like and I'm fine with it.
I have a peaceful life and I do like that, I'm not good with drama. When I do have alone time, I enjoy it a lot.
 
I'm beginning to realize being an introvert is not what I assumed it should be. For example, there's a set of needs which are a part of being an introvert besides personal feelings or preferences. In other words, I've found that I have to literally pull away or withdraw myself emotionally from the world in order to regain a feeling or wholeness or feel at peace. I was surprised by this because I thought I needed more social activity, not less. I like socializing with people but in small groups or one-on-one. I shy away from interactions with too many people. I always chalked this up to discomfort in groups, as a defect which signaled my inability to relate to people, but I realized this wasn't the case since I speak for a living. :D I realize that it's less about shyness than having your emotional energy or space feel as if it's being invaded when you're around to many people. I found that when I took a break away from crowds or large groups for a while, I was more relaxed and refreshed when I came back. In other words, I needed that alone time to thaw out even if I initially did not want that time away. This meant that even if I didn't want to give myself alone time, I needed to do so in order to feel myself again. I think this dispels some myth that people naturally understand the impact of their introversion on their lives. I'm just beginning to understand what it means. When I draw inward, I tend to be more aware, alert, more capable of thinking things through, figuring things out, and realizing where I've gone wrong. It's almost like a light comes on when I'm more quiet and observant, in those inner directed moments, compared to when I'm attempting to be outgoing and interactive. I'm even much smarter in introvert mode. :D I see and notice more. And none of this is necessarily intentional. In other words it's not a conscious process. Some of this probably has to do with intuition, but not sure how much. But I'm definitely way more aware in introvert mode.

Edit: And I agree, that it can be lonely sometimes. People sometimes mistake introversion for anti-social behavior or think someone always wants to be alone. For me, I always need those one or two persons I can communicate with regularly to keep me sane. Introversion doesn't equal wanting to be alone completely, but simply needing alone time sometimes to feel renewed and energized again.
 
Last edited:
*open door* Oh hai! You're still there, yay! *close door*

or

*open door* ... where is everybody? It's too quiet. I'm alone! Was there a disaster? IS EVERYBODY DEAD? OH NOOOOOO! *panic mode*
 
Since I have learned to meditate I have forgotten what it is to be an introvert.
 
I think that the loneliness that arises from being an introvert is that we have lower external stimulation tolerances. We accommodate to this and condition ourselves, fall into a pattern, of what we do in our day-to-day lives. Then, when we haven't received enough external stimulation (and since we're human is most often and supposedly most healthy is socialization) we're stuck. Because we are used to this lifestyle, that of an introvert, when we don't get enough stimulation (i.e. feel lonely), there isn't an immediate (or semi-immediate) outlet to relief. Very rarely do I get lonely, but that term is so relative. When I say I've become "lonely", that means that I know that the only thing to subside the under stimulation is some...human contact. *shudders*
The problem may intensify then when you try to alleviate. You can reach out, but...C'mon, we're introverts. Enough said. Or we may find something else to stimulate us...That's why I think the the most addiction prone demographics are the introverts. I'm speaking of addictions that aren't as a result of purely the substance (if it's known for those effects). Personal example: Me and computers/internet. I'd choose a good couple of hours of studying (MB) and reading articles and a game here and there...over a couple hours of a social event, ANY DAY. This has sometimes gotten really bad and interfered with my performance...basically outside of the computer/internet alone. But then I think of how, no matter what, I'm still relying on an external entity to fulfill a biological/psychological need...Ugh. Don't like that when put like that. xD
But then part of me thinks...Why socialize? If we can fulfill it outside of human interactions...why do it? But I can't get caught up thinking like that. It gets me in trouble. xD

I just love/hate how some of these threads get me really thinking. Love because I love having something to do up here. Hate because I'm mentally obligated to complete it to the realization.
 
Last edited:
I think that the loneliness that arises from being an introvert is that we have higher external stimulation tolerances.

Maybe I misunderstand the context but this is opposite of my current understanding of how introverts differ from extroverts. Laci Green summarizes the difference as I understand it for D News:

[video=youtube_share;LxZ1fPr9FJg]http://youtu.be/LxZ1fPr9FJg[/video]
 
Maybe I misunderstand the context but this is opposite of my current understanding of how introverts differ from extroverts. Laci Green summarizes the difference as I understand it for D News:

[video=youtube_share;LxZ1fPr9FJg]http://youtu.be/LxZ1fPr9FJg[/video]

Correct. I see it one way but the way to word it isn't always right. I meant they have higher levels already. Fixed it. Thank you.
 
Correct. I see it one way but the way to word it isn't always right. I meant they have higher levels already. Fixed it. Thank you.

It may also be the case that because introverts have a higher base level of activity that they also have a higher tolerance for activity in general but that borders on saying we're smarter and they might get offended by that if they ever stopped to listen. :)
 
It may also be the case that because introverts have a higher base level of activity that they also have a higher tolerance for activity in general but that borders on saying we're smarter and they might get offended by that if they ever stopped to listen. :)

Shhh, little extrovert. Nothing to see here. There's people around. Socialize...Leave your computer, you're getting quite bored...very bored...socialize....bored...very...very...bored...
 
I am an introvert who gets taken for an extrovert 9 times out of 10. Because of my education and job positions, I'm very bubbly, working with a lot of people, and interactive. While I identify a lot with extroverts, in terms of where I get my energy from, that is not extroverted at all. I am a huge introvert in this sense, as I require a lot of "me time" to recharge my batteries after a long day of school and work. I can get cranky and overly emotional if I don't have ample time to recharge and process.
 
It's weird but with people around my age now, introverts are starting to become more talkative than the extroverts, and extroverts are looking more mellow than the introverts. But the introverts still have to go home earlier and the extroverts can still be out all night long. I think this is people starting to balance out or in some cases to compensate with outward behaviour.
 
Beautiful at times. Painful at others. I think it is like any other state--paradox of unique but common, too. Like a fingerprint. I enjoy my time alone. I will seek it out because I'm hungry to be alone with my thoughts. This is especially true if I have something "emotional" going on. I do not even like to think about my feelings in the presence of another. So if I need to process something, it is vital that I get that time alone.

And then there are times when I cannot wait to get my mouth close to another person and blah, blah, baka, baka, baka...and did I tell you _____?

Sounds like ambiversion at it's finest!