There is a saying that 'nobody loves the same way" and I believe nobody friends in the same way, either.
For me, friendship is much more mysterious than love, especially with decades of growth and perspective.
My experience with friendship is more or less the same as yours
@James , expect that my close friends are not all from my childhood. Most of them are from my twenties, with a few from childhood and a few from my 30's. Also, I have as many acquaintances as an extrovert, but from my perspective, we are not 'friends' in the real sense, even if I like and respect them. Sometimes they believe we are close friends, but from my perspective I am their confidant and support network. I used to have a confidant, too, and am sure the situation was the same for us.
I can get along with almost anyone, but whether they want to get along with me is their decision.
- For me, loyalty, acceptance, encouragement and support are important in friendships. I don't care if we have nothing in common beyond enjoying each other's company and those traits.
- For some of my extrovert friends, being present is most important, and they get miffed if I miss too many of their events.
- For other people I know, laughing and partying is what makes a friendship and being too serious, or getting "too real" is frowned upon.
- For a few people I know, following the rules of the status quo is paramount. I don't get along with them, even if we are related. They absolutely hate me to the point that they won't speak to me, even if nothing "bad" has happened between us.
- I know other people who are only close friends with people who wear the right clothes, listen to the right bands, and have the right tattoos. Maybe that seems shallow to some, but it is meaningful to them, partially because identity is a very personal part of their subculture.
- A lot of people from my social circle are closest with cousins, siblings, bandmates or people who share the same religion, heritage, or ethnicity.
- I've seen people throw away solid friendships for a chance at being cooler, or getting famous, or even getting the guy/girl.
I find it fascinating.