[INFJ] What have your experiences been with INTP males?

[baccheion]

I'm wondering specifically about romantic relationships, though general experiences are also great. How did the relationships go? What were the upsides and downsides? What left you feeling satisfied, what did you feel was lacking, and would you overall say INTP males are a good, meh, or bad match for INFJ females? How do INTP males compare to other males in this regard?

If there's anything else you'd like to say about your interactions/dealings with INTPs, then let it out. It would be good to get a complete sense of what INFJs think of INTPs. That is, be as "raw" (honest and accurate, rather than nice) and thorough as possible. Maybe if enough people respond, then obvious problems and plusses will reveal themselves.

Also, please state your age and gender.

 

[Peppermint]

That's a lot of threads.

 

[Scientia]

That's a lot of threads.

I went back and looked after I read this. What is your true question, OP? Did an INFJ person catch your eye, break your heart or otherwise make you question yourself?

 

[baccheion]

I went back and looked after I read this. What is your true question, OP? Did an INFJ person catch your eye, break your heart or otherwise make you question yourself?

No, but I'm trying to find out more about INFJs, their experiences with INTPs, and such things.

 

[Wyote]

INTPs have commitment issues, lack follow through and generally troll too hard.

They are also the most hilarious and mentally stimulating type that doesn't drain much energy.

INFJs and INTPs share a special bond of being able to pull one another in unique directions of thought. This can lead to many hours of good conversation or debate. They don't always see eye to eye though, which can result in hurt feelings due to strong convictions/opinions.

 

[Pyrrhula]

I’ve only knowingly been on a first date with an INTP. He was insanely intelligent. I felt stupid He was very friendly and polite, however, and even though we weren’t really a match, we had a nice date. I wouldn’t necessarily rule out another INTP as there are individual differences, as with all types.

 

[baccheion]

I’ve only knowingly been on a first date with an INTP. He was insanely intelligent. I felt stupid He was very friendly and polite, however, and even though we weren’t really a match, we had a nice date. I wouldn’t necessarily rule out another INTP as there are individual differences, as with all types.

How/Where did you meet? If it was on OkCupid, then what was your match percentage?

 

[Pyrrhula]

How/Where did you meet? If it was on OkCupid, then what was your match percentage?

How do I know you're not the INTP I had the date with?? We did meet on OKC and it was 96%, I think.

 

[baccheion]

How do I know you're not the INTP I had the date with?? We did meet on OKC and it was 96%, I think.

Given how high the match percentage was, can you say more about what the date was like? What led you to believe you weren't a match? Lack of physical attraction, no verbal chemistry, something else? Also, how many questions did you answer, and how many questions did you have in common?

 

[Pyrrhula]

Given how high the match percentage was, can you say more about what the date was like? What led you to believe you weren't a match? Lack of physical attraction, no verbal chemistry, something else? Also, how many questions did you answer, and how many questions did you have in common?

I had no choice - he told me the next day he'd decided against dating. Although the date itself did just seem more friendly than flirty. I would have been up for a second.

I can't remember exactly - he'd answered over 300, I'd answered nearly 150.

 

[Hoodie]

There's someone I think is an INTP, but he says he's INFP. When I first met him, I thought he was was the worst person in the world- not quite but close. One of those people that's always got something negative to say no matter what the conversation is, and he didn't seem to care if it hurt other people. But then I got this idea that maybe he'd be different on his own, so I struck up a convo with him in private once. And I was interested to find out that he was actually quite an intelligent gentleman. I ended up getting a crush on him at one point, and I told him that I had those feelings for him, and he wrote me a letter that made me cry from relief. It was the most beautiful letter you could imagine. In short, he was telling me that he would always be my friend if I wanted him to, but everything about it was just so so genuine. Now he's one of those people that I can not talk to for forever and when we connect again it's like nothing ever changed. He's one of the people in my life that I'm terrified of losing, and yet I'm pretty sure he'll always be there no matter what.

So, I don't know what's up with his personality type. I thought it was more like INTP but maybe he IS INFP...? My boyfriend was supposedly INFP, and the two of them seem so different I can't imagine that they're the both INFP, or anything the same. I really don't know to be quite honest. Sorry if this derailed a lot.

 

[baccheion]

Any more experiences?

 

[Scientia]

I do not get along with INTPs in general. They are smart, funny, lazy and irreverent to the point of being obnoxious. Sounds awesome in theory but they truly grate on my nerves and I have to remind myself not to care. When I distance a little, I can find them amusing but only from a distance.

 

[James]

I've had one really bad experience with an INTP, but I think that was due to a variety of issues, not really connected to their MBTI preference. I've also had some great discussions with INTP's. I used to know a younger INTP who was exceptionally sharp and clever and I really enjoyed talking to him. I think I'm kind of somewhat close to the INTP zone in some ways myself. 60/40 on the 'F' preference over the 'T' and also not a strong 'J' type, though I think that's fairly common for INFJ's.

I like science and maths and usually the INTPs I have known have similar interests. They are usually very very clever people. Sometimes very shy.

If you are wondering about an INTP/INFJ match I think like any type it can work, if you are both committed and willing to work on the relationship. I think the absolute key to being with an INFJ is to be honest, if you're not they will know, and that will be the biggest hurdle. Also although INTP's maybe major league smart, don't underestimate the INFJ intellectually, they may operate in a way that seems 'fuzzy' to INTP's but they can keep up with any type.

Look critically at the strengths and weaknesses of both types, and be ready to work on it. If you really 'connect' with an INFJ they will be in it for the long term.
Good luck.

INFJ male, aged 46.

James

 

[Mystical_Turnip]

I'm a male INFJ, and my best friend is an INTP. He's one of the few people I genuinely enjoy talking with. He's intelligent, composed, and has a great sense of humor. We converse about a plethora of subjects, ranging from intellectual concepts and ideas to common interests like film, literature, and music. More often that not, however, these "intellectual" conversations collapse into playful banter, which, admittedly, I also enjoy (if only he put more effort into his ripostes).

However, he is not without his faults. I do not often discuss matters of an emotional nature with him, not anymore now that I know him better. Sometimes it's difficult for him to understand what I mean and/or imply when I say certain things. In addition, he can be rather thoughtless at times. Although there is no ill intent when he is like this, it is, nevertheless, an offense I cannot help but ruminate over.

In relation to romantic interests, he had maintained relations of a sort with an INFJ girl before. However, it did not end happily for him. I think she may have hurt him in some way.

Hope this helped