What does it mean to be a 30-something? | INFJ Forum

What does it mean to be a 30-something?

Gaze

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So, what does it mean to be a 30-something?
 
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For me its about changing roles. I think this used to be something that happened predominantly in the 20s, but these days, is delayed for many of us until then. Its about putting others WAY ahead of oneself and learning to focus in on what is really important. Its less about having time to think of new ideas and more about trying to execute on the ones that have stuck around.
 
For me its about changing roles. I think this used to be something that happened predominantly in the 20s, but these days, is delayed for many of us until then. Its about putting others WAY ahead of oneself and learning to focus in on what is really important. Its less about having time to think of new ideas and more about trying to execute on the ones that have stuck around.

I agree that you begin to take a back seat and realize that it's no longer about the simple realization of your own dreams, but how you affect others. You begin to consider more your direct or indirect influence on younger generations perhaps. You realize an identity outside of yourself. Although this is more developed when you are a parent. You're more likely to think about the consequences of your actions and censor your responses to more age appropriate expectations.
 
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You guys are starting to make some turnover in government offices, as 30's is the age when people rise to the call of politics (assuming it is that persons calling). I would say over the next five years, we will start seeing more of you in the open, and there will be a much bigger shift, much more quickly then the way it has been in the past. My hope is that it is indeed for the better. You guys are much more socially aware, and accepting then past generations.

We can already slowly but surely see this begin to start.
 
Technically I will be a 30-something for just a little while longer, so I'll answer here.

I have truly loved my 30s, as I've had control over my life in a way I never did in my teens and 20s, and as I've been able to meet goals I started working on way back then. You are able to put things in perspective in a way you can not do in your teens and 20s (typically), so every little thing doesn't seem like a colossal disaster the way it did back then. I craved stability and was able to achieve it in my 30s. Plus, physically, it is a healthy age for most people, and for most people you come into a different, healthier relationship with your body. You feel more comfortable in your skin.

I did have some rather bad timing as far as certain world events -- we had a recession when I graduated college just as we are having currently for people graduating, and that can make things a little challenging career-wise.

It's nice, too, to be old enough to really remember the computer revolution, and to have very clear memories of grandparents who remember the industrial revolution. I feel as if my age group has ties back to a pre-industrial, pre-computer age that younger people never will understand. It really is amazing all the changes the world's gone through in my lifetime.

You also start thinking of your parents as humans rather than simply parents. As a young person, it is hard to believe anyone else was ever young, and as a result, in your 30s, you can relate easier to people of a wider age range. (At least that has been true for me.)

Having children and owning a home and having a grown-up lifestyle has been immensly satisfying to me as well.

So for those of you about to hit this decade, never fear! It's a good one!
 
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I'm sadly coming to the end of my 30's...

I think one predominant thing I have noticed though, is it's the decade of reflection. Metamorphasis in many areas and a time to begin asking questions from a new perspective.
 
Well, as I look back at my 30's in the rear view mirror, I would say it was a time when I finally started to get my life together. Began to know who I am, and being ok with it.
You are certainly not the same person at age 40 that you were when 30.
 
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You are certainly not the same person at age 40 that you were when 30.

that's true of any age though, you're not the same person at 15 as you are at 20, not the same person at 25 as you are at 35. i think the actual age doesn't matter, even the time difference isn't that influencing, it's probably more how much you've experienced- and overcome- during that time that changes who you are. and in 10 year intervals, most people experience a lot.
 
Well, as I look back at my 30's in the rear view mirror, I would say it was a time when I finally started to get my life together. Began to know who I am, and being ok with it.
You are certainly not the same person at age 40 that you were when 30.

^this in bold for sure^ as I have heard from others who were passed their 30's.
 
that's true of any age though, you're not the same person at 15 as you are at 20, not the same person at 25 as you are at 35. i think the actual age doesn't matter, even the time difference isn't that influencing, it's probably more how much you've experienced- and overcome- during that time that changes who you are. and in 10 year intervals, most people experience a lot.


That's very true.
I think how you change comes more apparent when you are older because at least for me, I began reflect and think back to my earlier years.
Not living in the past, just sorting things out if that makes sense.
 
that's true of any age though, you're not the same person at 15 as you are at 20, not the same person at 25 as you are at 35. i think the actual age doesn't matter, even the time difference isn't that influencing, it's probably more how much you've experienced- and overcome- during that time that changes who you are. and in 10 year intervals, most people experience a lot.

I don't think the point was we change at particular ages, a fact on which everyone can already agree, but the nature of the changes and the feelings associated with those changes at each age or decade is unique. Changes at a particular age are different in comparison to the previous years, and there is a knowing that doesn't come until you've reached that point. You can understand it theoretically or academically that people change, but the specific changes or feelings of change you encounter are unique. The feeling of who you are at 40 is not the same at 30 or 20, even if you've remained the same.

We don't always fully understand the complete effect of reaching a particular age or will truly understand what it means until we experience it.
 
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I've dropped a lot of guilt....grudges....and have accepted responsibility for a TON of misdeeds which I would have shifted the blame for when I was younger.

Really, I'm okay with myself. Those waves of embarrassment I used to get while sitting and thinking of some asinine shit I did when I was younger, I don't have more than maybe once a month. I used to sit and beat myself up every day. So counterproductive. Blech.
 
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I think the thirties is much better than the twenties in many ways. Better sense of self, less concern for others' approval, and overall greater awareness. It is much better for many women because we start to really accept our bodies and look beyond our physical appearance. Relationships seem to be deeper and richer with friends and family as well.